Gone Home

Source: marksportal.com via C on Pinterest

Pretty HQ has temporarily relocated to the 15th St. beach, so please direct any love notes and fan mail accordingly. It couldn't hurt to include a festive Easter margarita or two. xoxo

PS - scheduled style post up tomorrow (Thursday, April 5th), just in case you are desperate - DESPERATE! - to hear from me before I return. (As you should be) (Parentheses)

The Smug Marrieds Jet-Set: Anniversary Trip to...

I know what you've been thinking.

You've been wild with anxiety, thinking, "OMG I cannot believe that Pretty left to wonder about where she & the Anonymous Husband are jet-setting off to for their fifth Smug Married anniversary. I mean, how are we to enjoy a long holiday weekend with such unbearable suspense?"

I apologize for causing you this unbearable agony and announce, without further travel planning procrastination ado, that the Pretties are headed this November for a long weekend in...

                                                            Source: google.com via Toni on Pinterest

                                           Source: google.com via Museumist on Pinterest

                                                                Source: google.com via Sam on Pinterest

                                           Source: towntoiles.com via Ashley on Pinterest

                                            Source: theberry.com via Sharon on Pinterest

Source: blessyoursweetheart.tumblr.com via Sharon on Pinterest

We went with majority reader opinion and, based largely on your terribly helpful advice, excitedly booked our trip to Charleston. We've sorted out our Historic District-based hotel, but I would very much appreciate any restaurant, shopping (of course), and sightseeing recommendations, either in the comments here or at my highly top secret email at ipickpretty AT gmail etc.


Again, my sincerest apologies for keeping you in such agonies. The staff - wherever they are - has been duly informed that such unkindness will not be tolerated.


Charleston restaurant/ shopping /sightseeing recommendations? 

***

PS - You know how I love a PS - many thanks to my Twitterati who gave me such helpful advice on buying a proper DSLR camera. We - as in, the Royal We - are trying to de-ghetto-fy the photography quality here, and the near unanimous consensus was to start with this Canon. I'm bargain hunting now & hoping to have one - and staff to train me on how to use it - secured by the time lovely Charleston rolls around ....

Flying with 1-Year-Olds, Hurricanes, and Other Good Ideas

***I'm hardly the first to traverse the young toddler trip territory (or excessive alliteration), so many thanks to you, you, you, you, you, and the many more of you I'm surely forgetting for your prior posts & helpful advice to me on the subject. Please let me know if I've inadvertently neglected to credit you here.***

Hello again! We're back from a whirlwind week of travel, first to visit my darling newborn niece in Dallas & then to an entirely different, less cuddly form of hurricane for an East Coast wedding.

Anywhoodle, I've long promised you a list of advice on how to navigate air travel with one older infant or young toddler. Given that this weekend marked five round-trip flights down in his 14 months of life, one of which Master P & I did sans help/husband, we're obviously experts on the topic. Obviously.

Plus, we at the Pretty like nothing better than kindly but firmly telling people what to do. Well, nothing except for a bottle of Veuve and an ocean view, perhaps, but - since those are unlikely (if welcome) companions to a piece on toddler travel, I'll take the bossing you around bit.

***Mildly Important Sidenote: my toddler travels to-date have all been domestic US & with my one & only 1-year-old, so my expert advice (ahem) is given with those limitations in mind. Those of you traveling internationally and/or with multiple children . . . um, good luck?***

Advice on younger toddler travel tends to fall along two lines: "In an ideal world" and "Reality Budget / Toddler Temperament". I don't presume to know your situation, so I include both here & will attempt to make note of where the advice may depend on budget considerations.

Before You Travel:

• Pay someone else to do it for you.

• Ok, truthfully - remember that, at least in my experience, young toddler travel isn't as bad as we think it is. More on this later, but I'm being serious. No, really.

• Know your child's best time of day & schedule your flights accordingly (*In an Ideal World/Budget Note*): Many 1-year-olds are morning little people, and Master P is no exception; we notice a big difference in his happiness & therefore ours when we've flown early. We're better off waking him early to do a morning flight than cutting his mid-day nap short & taking an afternoon one. 

• As usual, direct flights are your friend (*Ideal World/Budget Note*) when possible. We've done flights as long as one 3-hour stretch, and that went much better than two 1-1.5 hour flights with a layover.

• Check your airline's bag fee policy before booking your tickets, because you want to check every bag you can. Remember: Your kid is not the enemy with navigating toddler travel - all the extra stuff they come with is. Note that most airlines don't count car seats as a checked bag for charging-you-$$ purposes; none that we've flown as of this writing have, but double-check this.

• Buy a separate seat for your child (*Ideal World/Budget Note*). On many airlines, children under 2 years of age fly free as a lap passenger with you, but that extra seat buys you magical space in which your toddler can wiggle - versus running up the aisles and swinging from the drinks cart. This one also works well if your child happily sits in a car seat, because most airlines (all we've flown, but double check) will let you bring at least an infant car seat onboard.

• A separate seat wasn't an option for us budget-wise, so we took our chances on not having a full flight & flew Southwest. Master P loathes all car seats, so we check his; on flights that haven't been full, however, that extra space allows him to wiggle without annoying other passengers - or annoying other passengers less, that is.

• Get a copy of child's birth certificate to bring to the airport with you. Again, this varies airline to airline, but more often than not I've had to show one to prove Master P's under age-2 status - yes, even when he was all of 3 months old.

Arriving at Airport:

• Have someone drop you, child & bags at curbside check-in; if traveling alone with your kid, have that same person accompany you through getting bags checked & as far through the security line as allowed.

• Buy one of these (with thanks to Mrs. MMM, who first brought it to my attention with her excellent post here) if checking your toddler's car seat. The bag not only has backpack straps to make the trip from car to ticket counter easier, the overpackers amongst us (ahem) can squeeze a few more items in this roomy bag without paying an extra bag fee. Our Britax Boulevard fits it nicely & has sustained no damage to date.

• Dress your child with enhanced TSA security in mind, just as you dress yourself - as few layers of clothes as possible, no metal nunchucks in pockets, etc. And, yes, your wee toddler who may or may not yet be walking will likely have to remove his shoes. 

• Plan on security taking at least 5 minutes longer & adjust your time-to-gate plans accordingly; more often than not, Master P's snack/drinks bag (more on that below) gets an additional TSA screening.

• Gate check your stroller: Maclaren has the best reputation in the lightweight travel stroller business for a reason; we travel with this one (NB: I found ours on Gilt, which puts these up for sale occasionally). The one-handed fold is so helpful when standing on the jetway with your wee angel wiggling out of your arms & a line of passengers behind you.

During Flight & Stuff to Pack for It

• Board the plane early enough to get good seats (if flying Southwest) but not too early. I suspect this may be controversial, but - you'l be tempted to want to rush onboard to get settled; however, every minute you're sitting on the plane willing your child to sit still is one he could have been burning off energy in the terminal. 

• Encourage your child to drink on takeoff / landing to help with ear pressure. You, of course, will need no such encouragement. Which reminds me...

• Offer to buy a drink for anyone unlucky enough to be seated next to you. I've yet to have anyone take me up on the offer, but it seems to buy us some much-needed goodwill.

• Bring half the toys and twice the snacks & drinks you think you'll need. The plane is one big fascinating toy in & of itself; this will depend on the kid but, at least in Master P's case, he's often more interested in the surrounding plane stuff - barf bags! safety instruction cards! window shades, oh my! - than the stickers & flash cards I've packed him. 

• I consolidate my purse essentials into one diaper bag (I like traveling with this one, which has the benefit of looking manly enough that the Anonymous Husband will carry it without complaint) & include one smaller refrigerated lunch bag filled with snacks & drinks (more on that below). The Pretty Diaper bag includes:

• 2 books
• 1 new toy that can't roll away (drumstick, most recently; the lights & music toys he prefers can't easily be seen or heard on the plane)
• 1 sticker book
• 1 outfit change for child and, if possible, one t-shirt change for you; 1 extra layer for both
• (Insert Xanax for Mommy joke here)
• iPad for emergency video viewing (MP isn't usually interested in tv, but the 5 minutes of screech-free Elmo happiness the iPad has given us is worth its price alone).
• 2 sippycups milk & 1 water. I wouldn't count on the flight attendants for this - when you need a sippy to keep your toddler happy, you tend to need it rightthisverysecond. Plus, while I've heard of airlines providing formula when needed, I've not seen milk alternatives like soy (which Master P drinks). 
• "High value" snacks, ie, stuff I know he'll eat & don't create too much of a mess. String cheese, blueberries, Goldfish crackers = good / Swedish Fish I brought for me & shared with MP, only to have red goo get all over seat of his shorts in manner of, um, feminine incident = bad
• 3 diapers, travel pack wipes, and these odor-concealing bags; be kind to your fellow travelers also using the insultingly small lavatory & bag diapers before trashing.
• If your kid has a "lovey" he likes to sleep with, bring in case your checked bags disappear *and* (drumroll) on the off chance the Nap Fairy visits you during flight . . .

Granted, this cherubic sleep happened only after 10 minutes of tired screeching, but feel free to hate me regardless...

Which leads me to my next point:

• Toddler travel isn't as painful as you'd think pre-kid, and your fellow passengers & flight crew are much nicer than you'd imagine too. Yes, really. I'm not claiming that people break out in song & jazz hands upon seeing you, but by & large they've been very kind. Yes, your kid will cry, but he will stop crying - because the flight will eventually end, if nothing else.

After the flight:

• If flying alone, have someone meet you just outside security (*Ideal World/Budget*): You will need help getting the bags on whatever transport you're taking and a grown-up adult to have a conversation with, not necessarily in that order. Sweet talk an airline employee if need be.

What am I forgetting, Pretties? Also, now that you know that Master P sometimes naps on planes, do I have any volunteers to take him on our next trip?

Travel with Toddlers, Part Deux: Again? Really?

"Good idea?" is the catchphrase I vividly remember from my California Bar prep course lo these 8 - OMG - years ago. Our criminal law lecturer, nattily dressed in seersucker & enough sarcasm to quiet even a room of 300 terrified students, would invoke that phrase after telling us the facts of a particularly well bungled crime.

Though I do my best to forget Bar prep - and the practice of law altogether - I've never been able to shake that "Good idea?"voice when I go about the business of bungling whatever (non-criminal, I hasten to add) bit of life I'm up to at the moment. And so it was this weekend, when the Pretty family embarked upon a 24-hour round-trip journey to an out-of-state wedding.

Yes, 4 plane rides in 24 hours with a 13-month-old. All together now, you crim law professors & veteran moms - good idea? Other spectacular details of said weekend travel included:

- This was a "dry wedding" to which we were heading (I put that in quotation marks because, naturally, there is no direct translation of that concept in my language)(As if)(Parentheses);

- 3 out of 3 of us were in various stages of having a cold;

- 1 of us was recovering from surgery;

- 1 of us had just worked an 80-hour week;

- Someone - ahem - forgot to pack my toiletries & Master P's favorite stuffed animal (ie, the one without which he will not sleep);

- Said flights included a 3-hour layover, in which Master P attempted to board a flight to a different state only 3 times

- 3: the number of times I considered bolting solo to the nearby Key West-bound plane.

Good idea? No, but. . . it was a family wedding. We had a fun time despite the chaos. More importantly, it was for family, and for family you show up. Next time, however, we're bringing a nuptials flask, because that, friends, is a Good Idea.

Travel with Young Toddlers, Or Things You Should Avoid

To call a trip involving wee toddlers a "vacation" is to misunderstand the term. "Working travel" or "less sleep & more labor than you do at home or anywhere else, ever" would be a more apt phrase.

Despite the Anonymous Husband being stuck on a deal for the entirety & darling Master P struggling to adapt to Pacific time, we had a glorious trip back to paradise, aka San Diego. If one must do working travel, one might as well do it while surrounded by good scenery & great friends.

Playing at a dear friend's house & finally adjusted to California time - the day before we left, naturally.

I'll be back in a few with more of my usual drivel. In the meantime, I'm working on a post to be delivered later this summer, after Master P & I take to the friendly skies a few more times, involving my best travel-with-young-infant advice:

1) Don't

2) If you must, pack half the clothes and twice the onboard snacks / diapers / drinks you think you'll need.

Off to go about the business of re-entry aka eating restorative dark chocolate ...

Gone Beachin'

Photo Credit: Flickr

Please direct any fan mail to the Pretty (and pretty imaginary, alas) beach residence. Bonus golf claps if you can ID the beach in question...

Attempting to Stay (Smug) Married While (Smug) Mothering, Part II: Vacation

At sea aboard the "SS Mom Guilt"

As part of our desire to remain Smug Marrieds *and* Smug Parents, the Anonymous Husband & I decided a few months back, when our precious wee babe Master P reached the ripe old age of 6 months, that we ought to take a week long vacation - a vacation without said precious wee babe, that is.

Before you call in the Parenting Police, consider: travel has played an important part in our relationship since our long-distance beginnings. Our best times together often happen when we get out of town, just the two of us, and eat and drink our way into those meaty conversations work and Blackberry reception and, now, babies don't always allow for.

Also - sleep. Just after we booked this trip - to Cabo, for those keeping track - Master P began to sleep through the night (*again, cue angel choir*), but we were still short a good six months of slumber. Those impure thoughts I had when Master P was a newborn - the ones about a clean, fluffy, made-by-someone-else hotel bed - came back with a vengeance. 

And so we set about booking the trip, when - *cue mom guilt music* *whatever that sounds like* *maybe the cello is to guilt like the sax is to s-e-x scenes?*

"What sort of people are we that we want to take a vacation without our baby?" we - ok, I - wondered.  Many friends of mine, stay-at-home and working moms alike, wouldn't dream of leaving town without their own precious wee babes - why did we want to? Were we terrible parents? Most importantly, would Master P recognize me when we returned?

Guilt was a powerful cocktail, but the need for sleep and a swim-up bar proved even stronger, and so we booked the trip.

Cue two months later, when I was dropping off Master P with my kind Anonymous In-Laws, who not only were lovely enough to watch him while the AH & I traveled, but also pretended to pay attention to the written (single-spaced, multi-page...) directions I left them. I even held it together while delivering the approximately 4,305 items of baby equipment.

It was while I drove away from the Anonymous In-Laws that it hit me; I didn't cry, but I couldn't breathe normally either. Unconsciously I kept looking in the rear view mirror, searching for that grinning face in the car seat. I felt plagued with the feeling that I'd forgotten something, that there was a tangible, physical something (someone) missing. 

Operating under the "It will be fine, it will be fine..." mantra, the AH & I managed to get packed that night & off to the airport early the next morning. That phantom feeling still plagued me, but one foot in front of the other-style, I boarded the plane, and it got incrementally easier. I selfishly appreciated the uninterrupted hour I spent reading "US Weekly" "The Economist" and not having to inspect my clothes for spit-up stains.

And we arrived. We saw. We slept - until 8:30 am every morning. We had the conversations that only seem to happen when you're out of pocket - and Blackberry/iPhone reception. We called the Anonymous In-Laws at least once per day to check in on Master P, and those calls allowed us to just . . . at the risk of sounding too Sarah Maclachlan about it . . . be.

I confess to panicking the one day we quite literally sailed right out of cell reception; I gulped back another margarita my tears, remembered that I actually trust my in-laws - no, really - and decided to hold off the panic until the next day. 

I survived - and I'm glad we went. I've never been so relieved to board a flight home - or relieved, ever before, to be going home - but I'm still glad we went. That two-toothed smile on Master P's face when I picked him up - he recognized me! - was simply the best welcome anywhere, ever. 

And as much as I'm hugely looking forward to taking Master P to see the world, I'm looking forward to doing some of that just with the AH too, guilt be hanged - preferably by a swim-up bar...

Voila - our room with a view of the swim-up bar 

About to dine at Market, One of Our Favorite Restaurants of All Time ("OOOFROAT"); also, please note the clever concealment of roots behind the Anonymous Husband's happy grin.

Pretty Travel Photos to Distract You From My Utter Lack of Posting

Guilty Yuppie Disclaimer: No small part of me despises doing travel reviews, because I fear they come across as "Oooh, look how fabulous and privileged I am, traveling to exotic locales! Pretty please be jealous of me and my extremely good fortune / profligate spending!"

What I'm actually trying to get at is more along the lines of "Travel is just one of my things, so I live / budget accordingly, and I like reading about other people's trips to get ideas. And, well, Hell - I haven't posted in weeks. Maybe some scenic beach photos will distract everyone qualify as a post while I try to rediscover my writing mojo. Wait, can I use the word 'mojo' outside of the year 2002?"

Oh, and none of the following resorts / towns / etc. sponsored this post or trip, obviously, so regretfully, positive review to follow was at my own expense.

Thank you for your understanding . . .

***

"Hallmark Holidays" - love 'em or hate 'em, every year seems to come replete with a new, exhausting set of festivities for us to spend our hard-earned cash on. And while I generally resent such saccharine intrusions into my time and wallet - isn't Valentine's Day grating enough without inflicting "Sweetest Day" and its sappy ilk on us? - I can now speak enthusiastically on behalf of the Babymoon phenomenon.

A skeptic at first, having not heard of the concept until a few months back, I quickly cottoned to the idea / excuse to get away with the AH for a few days. Although we've been lucky enough to travel often during our few married years, not since our honeymoon had we done a longer than a weekend, just-the-two-of-us adventure. True, travel is a privilege, but we had saved and were due a lazy, hedonist, lay-about-the-beach together trip.

And so, high on hormones and the possibility of staring at my beloved Pacific Ocean for a stretch, this Valentine's Day weekend we departed for Punta Mita, a scenic, sleepy resort village one hour north of Puerta Vallarta. Six days, one outstanding hotel (St. Regis, for Hotel Snobs keeping track), zero margaritas (gah) and one maternity swimsuit (GAH!) later, we returned home oozily relaxed, sunburned, and grateful.

To any of you considering this whole gestation business, let me now say with authority - take a Babymoon. Ahem, TAKE A BABYMOON. On whatever scale fits your budget - pitch a festive teepee in your neighbor's yard if you must - just get out of town for a spell. I've found it too easy while at home to spend most of pregnancy moaning about budgets and 529 plans and other scary adult stuff you didn't consider back when having a cute baby seemed like such a fun idea. Get gone, get a fauxgarita in your hand, and just enjoy the actually fun bits of this babymaking deal.

One caveat - when I say "travel" here, I mean "a lazy ode to hedonism that caters to your now-constant need to eat / drink / rest / be pampered." Now is not the time to take that jaunt up Macchu Pichu or live amongst the indigenous persons of northern Uzbekistan. Your knocked up self reacts in strange and delightful ways to things like sun exposure, motion sickness, etc., so call this trip a good excuse to book some spa treatments and leave the adventurous, capital "T" Travel for another trip.

And for those Smug Marrieds not considering kids, now or ever, forever and ever, amen, this trip was also a good reminder to me of how important it is just to have some one-on-one travel time with the husband type. On the "Duh" scale, that remarkable insight must rate at least a 9.5, but hear me out; post-Honeymoon, we'd fallen into the group travel habit. This has been a blast, naturally, but it also hasn't left us time to just sit and have those honest, fauxgarita (gah) induced chats that come easier when you're not at home.

I have to get back now to freaking out about budgets and maternity leave benefits and ohmigodisn'ttheresomeoneIcanhiretofigurethisstuffoutforme, but I do so now with a refreshed, if still sunburned spirit. This all made it possible:

Pretty and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Blog

Darlings! It feels like centuries since we've last chit-chatted here. Rather than bore you with the various reasons for my absence - suffice it to say, I'm absolutely fine but aflutter with a full travel & social calendar for the month - I will merely apologize & warn you that it is only likely to continue for the next bit . . .

. . . or at least until my writing inspiration returns from its extended hiatus; I like to think of it as being off on an extended Lady Lunch at Neiman Marcus - can't blame a girl for losing her priorities in the face of monkey bread - but that wench had best return soon, and with a Pretty handbag as a peace offering too. In the meantime, I'll continue to enjoy your excellent blogging as I'm able to catch up with my Reader.

I'll be updating this weekend with a link to a guest post, so please watch this space . . .

Pretty Travels, Helsinki Ed.

Happy Labor Day to my American darlings out there! In my lone act of labor this weekend, and in an attempt to distract myself from handbag hari kari, I'm bringing you even more photos from my not-so- recent Baltic getaway.

We sailed from St. Petersburg to the idyllic seaside capital of Finland, Helsinki. Upon reaching port, we took off to hike around the countryside . . .

This is an unretouched photo; the sky really was that blue, and the grass that verdant. Finland was only recently urbanized, and so the Finns have strong ties to countryside retreats such as this. Given the natural beauty, it's easy to see why.

A view from our hike, which ended with a typically Finnish sauna (a Finnish word, by the way).

After our hike, we returned to meander around Helsinki. More than 20% of the country's only 5 million people live in the area; the laid-back layout and feel of the capital city reflects this recent urbanization.

We rambled along the port and stumbled across this farmer's market, a colorful mix of locals, tourists, and of course delicious looking produce . . .

A Russian Orthodox church & good representation of the melting pot of cultures and languages that comprise Finland. The country was occupied by Sweden for hundreds of years, followed by Russia, and the influence of those cultures was evident throughout. Note the street signs; all were in both Finnish and Swedish, the two official languages of Finland.

Some countries top their buildings with menacing gargoyles; in Finland, it's . . . a fuzzy little bear. This symbolized the remarkably safe, peaceful feel of the town to me; although this is a typical feeling in the orderly Nordic cities I've visited, never have I felt so safe wandering around a foreign (or US, for that matter) city.

Next - and final, pinky swear! - stop, Stockholm . . .

For previous posts in this travel series:

- St. Petersburg Ed.

- Travel, General Q & A

- Copehagen & Tallinn

- From Russia with Love

Pretty Travels, St. Petersburg Ed.

Yes, yes - three weeks post vacation, and I'm still babbling on about it. Three cheers for Other People's Vacation Photos (like "OPP", minus the rhythm)! I promise to wrap things up soon, but the remaining destinations are just too interesting not to share with you . . .

Moving along to St. Petersburg, perhaps the most compelling city I visited . . . let's get one thing out of the way first, however:

(Credit: Flickr user FatMandy. I didn't want to set Perestroika back by taking a photo of an actual native offender.)

MULLETS. Mullets here, and mullets there, there were mullets everywhere. The city of St. Petersburg was clearly in the throes of a fashion flashback moment, from the neon heels on the women, to the omnipresent mullets, this 80s fashion revival has gone global (or, I suspect, hasn't ever left certain locales).

Superficial impressions aside assuming I'm capable of anything else, St. Petersburg was the town I most wanted more time in, more than any other. An overcast, rambling city of more than 4.6 million inhabitants, it is a funny jumble of east meets west: here a Baroque masterpiece, there a crumbling Soviet dungheap. This architectural diversity was reflected in the population, to put it mildly. A former capital under the Russian Czars, St. Petersburg remains a cultural and artistic capital of Russia.

Before I ramble any further, let me say this - to say you've visited Russia after seeing this town would be akin to saying you've toured the US after seeing SoHo; you may catch a glimpse of a neighborhood of a big city, but you've only just begun to scratch the surface, and the surface of just one town at that.

And so we set out to cram as much touring as we could into our dizzying three days in St. Petersburg, fully cognizant that we wouldn't see everything or close to it. In an attempt not to bore you even further - and avoid crashing your computer with the over 200 photos we took there - here are a few highlights.

At Peterhof, one of Peter the Great's palatial residences, this one an attempt to recreate Versailles:

I don't know quite how to describe this next one other than an art lover's ultimate naughty fantasy. If you want to literally go nose-to-nose with a Monet or Rembrandt, you must see the Hermitage Museum, one of the largest museum collections in the world, once in your lifetime:

The buildings that comprise the Hermitage are just as much a work of art as the works within; these floors are just one example. There are those rare travel moments where you think to yourself, "I cannot believe I'm actually lucky enough to be here"; this entire museum, obnoxious overcrowding of tourists and all (foreshadowing!), was such a time.

Notice how I didn't take any pictures of the paintings? NOTE TO FELLOW TOURISTS: JUST BECAUSE THE MUSEUM WILL LET YOU TAKE FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY OF PRICELESS WORKS OF ART DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD. NO, SERIOUSLY. Ahem.

Rant aside, should your travels ever take you to this part of the world, please go here - if not for the art, if for that this is the one tourist destination we went to where the surly, elderly docents (read: monitrixes) weren't casting a dour spell on the experience. Ironically, this is the one place that could probably use that sort of supervision - unlike most museums of its stature, this place had hardly any safeguards against the elements or vandalism - but I'm getting seriously off topic here. Get to the Hermitage if you can, pets.

And here is what many of you, or at least I, envision when you think of St. Petersburg:

This is the Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood, or "That cool church with the dome thingies where the pickpockets hang out", as I've lovingly named it. Ironically, this world-famous church never did function as a church; it once was even used for vegetable storage, and is now a museum to mosaic art.

To conclude - get thee to St. Petersburg. To attempt to define this city in one mere blog post is to cheat it, and you, of the intricate historical, cultural, and artistic legacy it holds. Not to forget the mullets - as if I could.

Next stop, Helsinki & Stockholm . . .

For more in this travel series:

- Q & A Edition (including The One Travel Bag I'll Never Leave Home Without Again)

- Copenhagen & Tallinn

- From Russia with Love

***

But enough about other cities, let's get back to me - I'm remiss in not giving big, smoochy thanks to two of my absolutely favorite bloggers - Bon Bon Rose and NYC HIT - for honoring me with blog awards. I'm sure you're all reading them now, but if not, please check them out immediately. Thank you so much!

Pretty Travels, Travel Q & A Ed.

Important, Special Note to Readers: Featured Blogger Friday will return next week, or as soon as I stop putting the "minus" in "Type A minus personality".

I can't seem to focus lately; in fact, if Focus appeared on my doorstep in the personage of Don Draper, winking at me as he offered to whisk me away for an intimate dinner, I'd likely shut the door on him and think to myself, "Huh, well, at least the Jehova*h's Wi*tnesses are upping their game. What was I doing again?"

***

In any event, I've received a number of questions from you clever readers about the mechanics of my recent trip - namely, cruise vacationing vs. . . . um, vacationing vacationing. I'm going to delve into that today & name The One Travel Item I'll Never Leave Home Without Again ("TOTIINLHWA", anyone?), as well as open up the floor to any travel questions you might have. I'll pick up again with a couple of travel photo / fashion posts next week. Not that I'm an expert on travel, but - as you've surely realized - I so enjoy pretending to know everything.

I've now been on two cruises - one of larger, stuff-yourself-at-the-buffet variety as you've probably seen on commercials, and my recent one on an excellent, smaller, higher-end line - and based on those experiences, I'd particularly recommend this manner of travel in two cases: for those of you just starting out as travelers, and for travel to areas of more geographic interest than cultural.

For new travelers, or travelers new to the destinations cities (as I was on the Baltic cruise), cruises can be a terrific way to sample cities. You can have the security of a tour guide leading you around town, less the logistics of dealing with transportation and accommodations. These are simultaneously the big positives and negatives of cruises, actually; while the structured format of tours can be helpful especially for a new traveler nervous about finding his or her way around, it also means you're more likely to see only the tourist-y parts of a town. While that is part of the point - for example, you wouldn't go to Paris for the first time and not visit the Eiffel Tower - some of my best travel memories are the bits I stumbled upon in wandering around on my own.

On a cruise, you also don't have the opportunity to interact much, if at all, with the locals. Granted, in some places the language barrier might prevent some of that anyways; however, armed with a decent guidebook, a smile, and a working knowledge of "Please", "Thank you", and "Where is the bathroom?" in the native language (yes, even where nearly everyone speaks English; never assume they do) will get you by nearly everywhere. If some of the point of travel is challenging your perspective - and, believe it or not, I'll argue that it is for most vacations - you're more likely to do so if traveling on your own.

A cruise is also a fabulous way to go if you're visiting a spot arguably more compelling for its natural beauty - Alaska or the Caribbean come to mind - than its can't miss museums or history. Since you're there for the scenery, cruising can be a fantastic way to see those areas up close.

Most importantly, any cruise ship worth its anchor has an open bar, which of course makes it ideal for family vacationing. Love you & thanks, Anonymous In-Laws!

***

The One Travel Item I'll Never Leave Home Without Again ("TOTIINLHWA") will come as no surprise to the travel veterans amongst you. This served at various times as my handbag and my umbrella, and held damn near everything aside from the boat itself. It is deceptively large, lightweight, easy to clean, and looks appropriate in nearly every situation:

(Credit: Nordstrom)

Go LePliage or go home, darlings.

***

For my next party trick just as soon as I get motivated to edit photos again, I'll bring you St. Petersburg photos, including an in-depth analysis of the mullet epidemic that may or may not be sweeping that fine city.

Also, if you have any other travel questions, this is one of my favorite subjects to natter on about - please ask away in the comments!

Pretty Travels, Baltic Ed., Part I

After much gnashing of teeth and excuse making, I'm finally ready to delve into my recent European adventure travel photos. Yes, yes - please endeavor to contain your excitement at the prospect of looking at a total stranger's vacation pictures.

IMPORTANT, SPECIAL DISCLAIMER OF PC-POLICE SPECIALNESS AND OVER-CAUTION: The travel posts to follow are, unfortunately, limited by their nature to the brief time and especially the manner of travel (cruise) by which I visited these countries. Therefore, I will be forced to make sweeping generalizations as necessary. For example, I'm certain that your Russian museum monitor Aunt Vladimira is actually the loveliest of women, and not the surly, power-crazed robocop she (and her fellow monitrixes) appeared to be. Plus, this is my blog. Thank you for understanding.

IMPORTANT, SPECIAL DISCLAIMER OF THE DISCLAIMER: I loathe disclaimers.

Moving swiftly along . . . we disembarked our flight in Copenhagen, the Danish capital, where I quickly got my first taste of Scandinavia with a capital "S". The minute we landed in the airport, something felt different - the airport workers were actually friendly, the train system immediately outside was tidy and ran on time, and not a scrap of litter or disorder (unless you count the omnipresent leggings, which I'll get to in a future post) was to be seen anywhere.

And, oh yes, the people. As I've mentioned here before, Copenhagen is not the place for you should you be feeling insufficiently blonde, tall, and healthy looking - as in, "My fair locks and I are going to do a wee hike up an enormous mountain this morning just because I SO enjoy the fresh Scandinavian air" healthy looking. This isn't at all to say that everyone should be tall and blonde, but merely that if you personally strive for greater achievement in these areas (ahem), I'd think twice before visiting. In short, I should have touched up my highlights pre-trip.

In any event, once we left the airport and arrived at our downtown hotel, we took to the cobblestone streets (also beautiful, naturally). Some highlights . . .

Outside Amalienborg Palace, the winter residence of the Danish royal family.

Amalienborg Palace. It must be the English delusions of royalty in me, but I have yet to meet a palace or cobblestone street I didn't like.

Remember this? Copenhagen is located on an island, and this is one of the scenic canals running through the downtown area.

(It wasn't). However, note the use of English; for better or worse, nearly everyone we encountered outside of Russia spoke it, and the touristed spots had just as many signs in English as in the native language.

After 1.5 days in Copenhagen, we boarded our ship & sailed away to the fair seaside town of Tallinn, Estonia . . .

The view from the ship. Tallinn has a storied and long history as a trading port, and I quickly saw why - if I saw a port like this, I'd be (and was) inclined to stop.

The Rusalka Memorial, dedicated to a sunken ship just off the coast. The memorial is situated on a stretch of unadulterated, breathtaking coastline, the likes of which in the US would be dotted with McMansions or gilded casinos. Just say no, Estonia.

A view of the striking Old Town area. Unfortunately, it's a gem now overrun by tourists, but it's worth getting off of the main, foreigner-ridden drag to meander the back streets and take in the various fortresses and churches lining the (yay!) cobblestone lanes.

Alexander Nevsky Cathedral, a sign of the pervasive Russian influence and later Soviet occupation in Estonia.

When English translation goes wrong - in case you can't make this out, it reads "Own hearth is worth gold". This was taken in a tourist-trap "Estonian" restaurant, where I'm happy to say the cider and food were considerably better than the wall decor.

Next stop, St. Petersburg, aka "Ground Zero for the 80's fashion revival" . . .

(Insert Proper Post Here)

My darlings, I've been besieged by work, hence I won't be able to throw together a proper series of travel posts until this weekend at the earliest. To be frank, even if professional piddliness wasn't getting in the way, I'd still be having a difficult time writing these - to summarize my travel experiences is to acknowledge that they are at an end, and - well, me and Denial go way back. As do me and vodka, with equally questionable results.

In the meantime, I'm going to hunker down and labor away, not just at my paid job but also on my defense of the Scandinavian Leggings Uniform (!). Yes, really. See you shortly, starting in Copenhagen . . .

I'm Ba-aaaack

Hello again! I'm back - and tremendously jetlagged, which as the travelers amongst you know is a bit like a whopping champagne hangover, sans the fun of having actually overindulged in the bubbles. Not that I've ever done something so indelicate as be hungover. Ahem.

I'm attempting to do things like get caught up at work and sleep and any "Tori & Dean" episodes I've missed, so please bear with me if my posting schedule and blog comments remain sporadic over the next while.

In the meantime (not to self-promote) (oh, who am I kidding?) (can I blame the jetlag?), please check out my fabulous profile as done by my own Feature Friday Blogger & Invisible Internet Friend, Miranda of A Duck in Her Pond, here.

Also - insert trumpet fanfare here - please check back in tomorrow for my One Year Blogiversary giveaway. It's a spectacular, stylish one. Like, seriously.

While I go sulk about having to shuffle off to work in a few hours, allow me to leave you with a one-word teaser - my overall impression from my travels through the Baltic, land of arctic climes and fascinating history and nauseatingly attractive types . . .

. . . leggings. Be afraid. More soon . . .

From Russia with Love

Things I've learned on my International Woman of Mystery travels, N. Europe 2009 ed., so far:

1) Do not promise your readers thrilling travel photos prior to ensuring that you'll actually have an internet connection swift enough to post said photos (read: Sorry! Will bore you with a few when I return because nothing says love like forcing others to look at your travel pics);

2) If you're feeling insecure about how blonde or healthy you look, I don't recommend Denmark. Once my self-esteem has recovered, I look forward to returning to that gorgeous place (land, people, buildings, beer, etc.) one day;

3) My patented Icy Glare of Judgment has nothing on the dour elderly women manning Russian museum exhibits. I'd take notes, but I'm completely terrified & just want to live to see the Hermitage;

4) When traveling with family, an open mind is good. An open bar is indispensable;

5) A little absence does make the heart grow fonder - missing you, interwebs & all of my Invisible Internet Friends!

Gone Baltic

(Credit: Etsy seller Foundpaperco; I just love the look of old-fashioned airmail.)

PRETTY HEADQUARTERS TEMPORARY RELOCATION ANNOUNCEMENT

Remember this? My LePliage is packed*, my suitcase can almost close if I sit on it just right, and I'm finally off for a fabulous ten days cruising around Northern Europe. Yes, I realize that I'm a spoiled, fortunate lady to be able to say that. Happily, as my longtime readers know, I actively seek out opportunities to be spoiled. And, er, to travel.

*Thank you, readers, for resolving my carry-on travel tote dilemma.

This means that I will be doing my best to do things like see stuff and read as many trashy books and magazines as is humanly possible, versus my usual spending too much time on the interwebs posting & leaving you comments. I'm sure this poses a great hardship to you all, and I encourage you to take this sad news with as much of your customary grace as you can muster.

I will pop in here & on Twitter with any worthy travel photos, should I accidentally happen to take one of those. Also, Featured Blogger Friday will continue in my absence. These next two are simply wonderful, and completely different from one another, so I'm hoping you'll enjoy the variety. Please stop in and say hello to them.

Missing you already, darlings! See you the first week of August, when I'll return in a blaze of International Woman of Mystery glory for my one year Blogiversary, complete with giveaways and various other means of tricking you into reading my drivel.