(Not-So-) Guilty Summer Secrets

It is my sincerest wish that every last one of you imagines that I read "The Economist" and Dickens in my spare time, when I'm not otherwise expanding upon my extensive knowledge of opera and East Asian microfinance.

Alas, when left to my own summertime leisure devices (or any -time, for that matter), my tastes are admittedly a bit more, shall we say, pedestrian. Less "New York Times", more "US Weekly", if you will. That is to say, completely sketchy.

Having spent last summer engaged in the business of keeping a newborn and myself alive (which often seemed like mutually exclusive tasks), my leisure time was exclusively engaged in honing the art of napping. Oh, what a promiscuous napper - napper, I said; remove your minds from the gutter, pleaseandthankyou - I was, wantonly sleeping wherever & whenever I could.

Happily, this summer I find myself with a bit more sleep and time in which to get back to the business of the season. Though geography and mom duty prevent me from my beloved tradition of burning myself to a crisp by the ocean, other habits, such as my beachy reading, live on.

Here's what's on my summer 2011 bad habits list:

On the Pretty Trashy Bookshelf:

Let me preface this by clarifying that, at this very moment, I'm engaged in my annual "Pride & Prejudice" re-read. No, really. Pinky swear.


But - after I finish with that actual capital "L" Literature, I'm moving on - or down - to these:

Yes, young adult fiction (albeit by the Fug Girls) - because apparently I'm an adolescent both in maturity level & reading preference. (Photo Credit: Amazon)

I know, I know. But - pretty royal wedding pictures! Tabloid sludge! What's not to enjoy here? Photo credit: Amazon

In the Pretty Wine Fridge:

Because Pretty HQ is equipped with a wine fridge as befits a couple of card-carrying yuppies - who also belong to a wine club. Because that isn't First World privileged person behavior if I've ever heard of it.

Anywhoodle, as I learned over on the Waspy Redhead's lovely blog yesterday, I should probably be posting this sort of thing on "Wine Wednesdays"instead. Being timely isn't on my list of guilty pleasures, however, so I'm bringing you my summer favorite here:

Pacific Rim Columbia Valley Riesling, which I first learned of from reader, BFF & wine connoisseur, the International Woman of Mystery.

Here's what I know about wine, despite my yuppie credentials: (1) what I like and (2) what I don't like. So I won't bore you with "it has a note of this" blah blah & will leave it at this - it tastes expensive but isn't. Should run you $12-14 a bottle. Pairs well with trashy books. Speaking of...


In the Pretty Closet:

I finally did it. I Pippa'd:

This bag is classic, elegant, and big enough to store at least one trashy book. Plus, it's a purchase largely inspired by (trashy, needless to say) celeb magazine reading, so this otherwise high class closet entry is getting a hall pass to guilty summer pleasureland in my checkbook.


Am I missing anything in this trashy book/wine/fashion trifecta?

The Pretty Style Bookshelf

Pets, I'm all out of substance after yesterday's post - let's return to the State of Superficial, shall we?

We talked about coming up with a clothing "splurge vs. save list" recently, which got me thinking more about how to build a wardrobe based on what is both flattering & largely designed to last beyond one season.  That sounds a bit obvious, but again, given These Difficult Times blah blah blah, I'm trying to focus even more on my Grandmother's mantra "Buy less, but better" instead of just purchasing what is merely on sale or en vogue.

To that end, I've consulted my bookshelf to consult those who actually know something about the matter, unlike this boring lawyer.  By a book's very nature, it won't be able to cover the fleeting fashions like a magazine or the 'net can, but the right one can be invaluable in creating a lasting style.  Here are a few nuts-and-bolts reads I've found both useful and just fun to look at over the years (all images credit to Amazon):

"What You Wear Can Change Your Life" by Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine. Don't be put off by the grandiose title - one, because I assume you wouldn't be reading this blog if you were a stranger to hyperbole; and two, because these two are spot-on with their advice on how to dress for your figure & complexion.  The latter is something that is frequently overlooked by the glossies, which irritates me to no end; obviously part of building a lasting wardrobe is finding the cuts and colors that actually work on you, and not just throwing on the latest trend.

Also, Trinny & Susannah's hysterical BBC show "What Not to Wear" is far superior to the American version, if you're a fan of style TV.

"InStyle Secrets of Style": I like this one for seeing outfits in action on celebrities, as well as their wardrobe basics approach. Some styles are dated, but the underlying content is good.

"Style" by Kate Spade: I'm not the KS aficionado like I once was, but on my more preptastic days, I love the retro illustrations, quotes, and traditional style advice.

"A Guide to Quality, Taste & Style" by Tim Gunn:  I'm going to confess something shocking to you . . . this book is winging its way to me just now, so I can't vouch for it yet.   Forgive me, Fantasy GBFF Tim Gunn, for I can't comprehend how I've survived without your sage advice until this point.  Two penalty shifts at "Mood" for me, at a minimum.

Per my International Woman of Mystery duties, I have a few long plane rides in my near future - any other style reads you would recommend?

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Darlings, I'd love your input on something - I'm considering moving my more personal posts elsewhere;  I enjoy writing those just as much as I do these Pretty posts, but I'm uncertain whether the two belong in the same space.  Do you like reading a bit of each here?

Please don't worry about hurting my feelings - I drowned those in a vat of Veuve long ago.  (I mean that) (sort of) (so long as you're polite) (because I'm like the Chinese government when it comes to comments, except with better accessories) (parentheses).  Thanks for your thoughts!

Edited to add: On a second read-through, it looks like I'm trolling for compliments here.  I'm not, truly. I will let you know, decisively, flagrantly, and none too subtly when I'm in search of flattery.  Which is the vast majority of the time, but not now.  

The Pretty Nightstand

As longtime readers will recall, I stand for being prettier than everyone else, not more original than everyone else.  I mean, a woman only has so many hours in a day, and I'm devoting mine to cheese and chemical peels, not creativity.

Hence, on this fine St. Patrick's day, I bring you a post idea I spied over at as copied from the ever-fabulous May December. Given that you're (a) fascinated by me; and (b) hopefully as much as a book / magazine hussy as I am, thought I'd show you my current reading - if only (c) to prove that I am not still entirely immersed in Teenage Vampire Land:

There's an Economist at the bottom of that pile!  Never mind that it's from December '08 and I have yet to read it.

Please feel free to discuss in the comments how incredibly well-read and interesting I am.  

Tori, Tori, Tori

And now for the big sToritelling giveaway ((drumroll)) . . . our completely biased and Veuve-soaked panel of judges has come to an unbreakable tie between . . .

• Petunia: Our judges give this pretty Florida prep a 10 out of 10 for her prompt and enthusiastic compliments, which were most satisfying in their outrageousness. And . . .
• Slynnro: Although our judges were disappointed in her flagrant disregard of the wild complimenting covenant, we recall that she was both our first blog reader/commenter, as well as an inspiration to hang our blog shingle in the first place. Besides, we're afraid that if we don't kiss up a bit, she might stop sharing her Retail Ninja-level shopping tips with us. And she's very nice and stuff.
  

Congratulations, ladies! Please drop me a line at legallyblondemel AT yahoo dot com with your mailing address, and I'll get Tori - and the story of the high voodoo priestess (it just never gets old typing that) - on her way to you immediately.

Goodnight, lovelies . . .

We Pause for a Hallmark Moment

I was itching to prattle on further about Good Paper and the teeth-achingly darling notes I ordered this very day, until I recalled the tags passed along to me by some other very kind blogettes. These delightful forwards alternatively called for me to share fun facts about myself or state some things for which I'm grateful. In predictable fashion - just ask my family- I've altered the rules a bit and bring you just one thing for which I'm grateful; rigid as I am with enforcing Pretty Laws on other people, you'd be surprised how moral relativism appeals when applied to self.

Please allow me to apologize in advance for the perilously high Unicorns-and-Rainbows level of sentimentality that is to follow. Unfortch I'm going to have to bore you with a bit of a love story, which is admittedly rather nauseating and precious of me, but it simply must be done. Fasten your seatbelts, ladies . . .

Have you ever had to have one of those conversations with your significant other? The one where your stomach is churning and your hair hurts from thinking about it and if only I could make a bargain Upstairs and get out of talking about this and man now my teeth hurt too and did I forget to wear deodorant today because I'm sweating a little and did I mention how nervous I'm feeling and how I wish we were in the "Mad Men" days where I could have a dirty martini before noon so I could drown my thoughts just temporarily and maybe if I eat some more candy corns that will help and how do I talk about this with him and this is icky and where is my comfy blankie and pjs when I need them and oh God now my hands are clammy and I probably smell bad but I can't leave the office today and shoot I forgot to change the load of laundry this morning which is further proof of why I'm a bad wife and person generally and why oh why isn't vodka allowed in the office again?

(((deep, cleansing breaths)))

Just to be clear, I'm talking about news that isn't necessarily terrible - say, in the case of my own Anonymous Husband ("AH"), something like "ESPN is folding so professional sports will no longer be broadcast on television" - or even really my fault, but something that certainly isn't fun, or fits the prettily picket-fenced yard image of the tidily perfect home and life you imagine in your mind, complete with 2.5 kids and tail-wagging dog, and hope others believe in kind.

(((deep, cleansing breaths)))

So I summon my Big Girl Words - sans vodka, thankyouverymuch - and deliver the news to AH, and . . . grace. AH digests the news and immediately gives me a hug (a good one, big arms and all) and tells me things will be fine and that it isn't a big deal. And, suddenly, it isn't. I literally can breathe again and turn my tired brain to "off" and just wallow in the inexplicably kind man I have the privilege of calling my husband. (Gag, I know. Please bear with me here.)

David Sedaris, the completely genius author you should all be reading right now instead of this rubbish, wrote something about meeting his partner, and how he determined to trick this person, who he saw as more handsome, kind, intelligent, etc. than himself into liking him. Thing is, I immediately knew what he was talking about. I'm not being falsely self-deprecating or begging for compliments here, although it's entirely understandable if you think so given the usual Pretty modus operandi.

One of the few - and I mean few - fabulous things about getting older is realizing how little I know for certain. Knowing that your spouse is a much, much better person than you are, and if you're lucky, you'll get the chance to try and trick that person into liking you for the next 50 years or so, and perhaps pick up on a few of his many good traits yourself, is a tremendous thing to be certain about. And that's news of the grateful, Pretty kind to me.
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If you're still with me after that schlock, please remember (if you're so inclined) to enter into my supercalifragilistic Tori Spelling giveaway. I'm almost through it myself, and what a read - the HIGH VOODOO PRIESTESS (I don't often encounter this sort of professional , so I figure she merits Caps Lock treatment) is merely one of many highlights. My BF-J, who is briefly pausing in Texas this weekend between world travels, and I will judge entries over a bottle or five of champagne in utterly non-subjective manner; the lucky winner will be announced on Monday.

Pretty Inspirations for Monday

Every so often, each of us faces down a Monday that we suspect will be a total waste of our Bobbi Brown - say, by means of completely random example, you face a loathsome work assignment. However, since we are nothing if not sweetly determined here at the Pretty, we are trying desperately not to be refuse to be daunted.

So, in addition to the pricey soy latte we'll surely arm ourselves with tomorrow morning, we look to a few of our favorite things - meaning those which leave us a little champagne bubbly with happiness by virtue of their very existence - to get us through le day. Yes, yes - we know material things aren't where it's at - but surely looking at a few lovelies is just the thing to get a girl through a Monday, no?

(credit: theworldsbestever.com)

A lounge chair with an ocean view. Stay tuned for an upcoming Pretty on-location report regarding this very subject. Bonus heart palpitations if there's a little flag attached to the back of the chair for summoning poolside margaritas (rocks, extra salt).

(credit: Trendsnow)

Speaking of bubbly, lest you think we're merely a champagne bubble in mindset, we're also particularly fond of the real-life Veuve variety. Although we'll take it in any form that we find it - the good ol' yellow label is plenty fancy for us - the delicious new rose with the pink label makes us fairly lightheaded just thinking about it.

And since we don't want you thinking liquor is what's getting us through Monday - not the average Monday, at least . . .

(yes, that's a dog in there)

At the risk of looking like one of those faux inspirational signs with the soaring eagle that reads "EXPERIENCE - What Everyone Does Every Day, Except More Special", we've titled this pic "The Triumph of Mind Over Matter". Our Pretty Pug Mascot finds his extensive duties rather exhausting, hence his recently chewing a hole in his carrier to provide extra sleeping room. Like his human servant, HRH Pug will stop at nothing in search of 5-star accommodations comfy naps in the sun.

(credit: Neiman Marcus)

That fine Texas institution and its many-splendored outlets, where we may have recently scored our first Milly dress for 80% off (pics to come) . In fact, we're also filing this under our "Why You Should Like Me Better Than Paris" records, because what other blogette do you know with the good sense to work within 10 minutes of one Last Call & live within 5 of another?

(credit: Wikipedia)

The anticipation of beginning a new book, as narrated on CD by the genius author.

(credit: USA Today)

Images of elegant times past. Yet another book we've just discovered & must add to our wish list.

There are truly so many other things we are grateful for, but at the risk of boring you silly, we'll stop here, slug back our restorative coffee, and wish you a happy Monday.

On the Pretty Bookshelf

Since I'm semi-retired from my favorite vices at the moment, I figured we'd chat about my one redeeming hobby - reading. Usually I'd just post these in one of those handy "What I'm Reading" sidebars, but I suspect this current crop is particularly revealing . . .

What I Like to Casually Mention in Smug, Self-Important Manner that I'm Reading:

(credit: Barnes & Noble)

In fairness to moi, I have actually started reading this. It is magnificent so far, so much so that every word is worth lingering over; this is code for the fact that I'll finish this sometime in 2025.

What I'm Actually Devouring as Fast as Possible:

(credit: Barnes & Noble)

Fashionistas, take note - this is a truly excellent, enjoyable read about the business and marketing / psychology behind the fashion industry. To my great relief and delight, I'm learning that a Frenchman I've never met - Bernard Arnault, LVMH founder - is to blame for my handbag and champagne predilections.

What I Am Secretly Dying to Read but Was Too Embarrassed to Be Seen Buying at the Houston Airport (So I Thought I'd Post it Here on the Internet)

(credit: Barnes and Noble)

Dear Santa, please keep in mind for my Christmas stocking - in the unlikely event I don't get over it already and just order it online, that is.

I promise that we'll get back to our favorite vices shortly - just as soon as our next paycheck arrives. In the meantime, please leave me a comment if you're reading something you would recommend. Because buying books doesn't count as shopping, right?

(Insert Meaningful Title Here)

That title isn't actually meant to be facetious (for once) . . . we here at Pretty HQ have been musing quite a bit lately about how to round out our mission statement of being Prettier Than Everyone Else with the flip side of it - actually doing something useful for our little corner of the world here. No, really - I mean it. While I am taking a stab at that here and recently here, as always, I absolutely could do much more & look forward to the day when I can devote far more time to something besides (in addition to) internet shopping and that whole paid job thing. Not necessarily in that order, but hopefully you see where I'm going with this.

So as part of this, just wanted to share a lovely article here and post there (worth a scroll through the series of posts & this excellent, quirky blog in general, particularly if you were a fan of the excellent, quirky "Freakonomics" book), both of which feature some fortunate people walking the talk, as it were. Particularly with that last piece, I'm impressed with some people's ability not just to enter into the philanthropy world for some of the usual social & financial benefits - I'm as guilty as anyone on this count - but to also dive in and have a go at understanding the people they are trying to serve.


We will now return to our regularly scheduled snark and dramatic self-reverence in manner of Brenda Walsh. That is all.

Pretty Reads - "Eloise"

Last night I found myself not with a case of the Mean Reds, but something more along the lines of the Barely Bothered Blues. As I often do, I sought comfort in my bookshelves, where I rediscovered this:


"Eloise", my first book & my first loved one at that, the book that inspired me and countless other little girls on to great achievement in areas such as impudence, irreverence, independence, and - subconsciously for me - even Pug ownership. Most importantly, it started my lifelong love of reading.

We at Pretty HQ realize we've kept things light here. We'll get to our friends Nabokov and Fitzgerald and the like in a bit. Alas, it isn't entirely one big champagne bubble here at Pretty HQ, as mightily as we wish it were.

However, sometimes things really are just as simple as happening upon a childhood love. What's yours?

A Narrow Slice of Pretty

For more on the wryly funny, yet warmly written essays front, I recently discovered and recommend Prudence Mackintosh's "Just as We Were: A Narrow Slice of Texas Womanood":

[credit: www.alibris.com]

It's a bit difficult to find nowadays, but worth the effort, particularly for us Yankee types (assuming southern California qualifies - we could just be Weird, Left Coast types or something) attempting to understand certain Texas / Southern mysteries like Why It's Really Important To Certain Types of People Where Your Children Attend Summer Camp.

As a fun side note, I recently wrote the author a fan email, and received a charming response back!

Me Blog Pretty One Day

This puts me about 1,007 years behind the literary popular crowd, but whatever . . . I just discovered this genius book. If I somehow get reincarnated as a supremely talented, male writer, I'd hope to write a fraction as well as this. Some dark subject matter that might not be for everyone, but this is required reading if you like your snark mixed into meaningful and cleverly written personal stories.

That is all.