Secret Single Behavior, Thursday Night Edition

One of the things that They - you know, that mysterious "They" committee that comes up with the rules - don't tell you about marriage is how some of the really good bits are times spent apart.  Yes, apart.

Admittedly, for those of you with significant others working or stationed far away, I'm sure you've had quite enough of alone time and would cheerfully kick me for saying this, and understandably so. It is the couples who aren't separated by circumstance, but who choose to spend nearly every waking second together, that work together or took every class together - those are the ones that leave me entirely befuddled.  After all, how else can you truly appreciate one another if you don't have the occasional Secret Single Behavior ("SSB") evening alone?  Doesn't the time apart, secure that you will see your SO very soon, make the time apart delectable?  Am I right here?

When I do get the odd night to myself, I wish that I could tell you that I'm busy baking casseroles in the shape of a wee Birkin, all while balancing my checkbook & running the Junior League single-handedly & catching up on some light quantum physics* reading. In actual fact, if I'm not otherwise out with friends, my SSB checklist - how handy would this be for our young professionals' Martha-lite-omnimedia project, by the way? - goes something like this:

Facial Exfoliation / Pluckage - Check

Wine? - Check  

George Forman-ed Meal du Jour? - Check

Magazine / Catalogue Reading? - Check

Ice Cream? - Check

Sauvignon blanc, Dreyer's rocky road, and unsupervised internet access. Please try to contain your overwhelming envy.

What does your typical SSB night include?

Secret Single Behavior, a 10 Year Retrospective

Friday Night At Home, Age 20 Edition: Activities likely to include:

• the gym (have you ever seen a more melancholy place than a Friday night gym? Seriously, it's enough to drive us back home to the Ben & Jerry's. As if we needed any help in that department.);
  
• wine (from the jug);
• um, personal grooming;
• searching desperately through closet for something to wear in case of impromptu, inevitable keg party;
  
• catching up on girly TV, waiting for impromptu, inevitable keg party; and
  
• wondering what death-defying and/or intoxicating behaviors to which the boyfriend is up.
  

Friday Night At Home, Age 30 Edition: Activities likely to include:

• the gym (just as sad 10 years later)
• wine (from Coppola Vineyards, in proper bottle);
• um, personal grooming;
• weeding through closet to get rid of keg party attire;

In the name of bloggerific integrity and embarrassing ourselves, we bring you Exhibit A. Complete with mysterious pink cosmopolitan stain.

• catching up on girly TV, anticipating an early bedtime in nice, new sheets; and
  
• wondering what death-defying and/or intoxicating behaviors to which the husband is up.
  

Hmmm . . . from the looks of things, things are looking awfully similar, saved for a marked improvement in both the quality of our wine and thread count. Nonetheless, we're enjoying our SSB evening in a Large way, and wish you an equally outstanding one.

Top 10 Reasons I'm Excited That Anonymous Husband is Going to the Olympics and I'm Not

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5. The opportunity to engage in Secret Single Behavior ("SSB"). Beauty treatments have been scheduled, comfy pj's washed, DVDs and books selected, and ice cream and wine stockpiled:


[Exhibit A of SSB in times past. Sad over-the-hill mug was mysteriously acquired in a move, but is just as good at holding Dreyer's Slow Churned Mint Chocolate Chip as any other (note: ice cream tastes better in a mug - try this sometime) & seems appropriately morose.]

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2. The annual Texas Sales Tax Holiday - let's have a moment of respectful silence for this tremendous concept - is conveniently scheduled for the very weekend AH departs town. I will do my best to boost the ailing economy, tax free, (don't think too hard about that last bit), by visiting the new mall, which contains goodies such as this, that, there, and this one too.
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But seriously, I am very happy for you, AH, even though I'll miss you terribly & worry about the crazies, political unrest, etc. Really. I promise. Honest!