**
From that title you're probably thinking I'm sending you to some scary cult insurgency camp in darkest Idaho, aren't you? Fear not, pets - I'm unfortunately far too fearful of camping and people like Tom Cruise for that sort of thing. Thank you for your understanding**I was all set to wax fashionista tonight and dissect Michelle Obama's Narciso Rodriguez "victory dress", until this evening's
Junior League project sucked the superficial right out of me. Well, most of it. Actually, it so happens that most of you other fashionable blogettes like
The Preppy Princess and
Ms. Mindless AND, you know, the
LA Times beat me to the Narciso punch, so I'm afraid you're briefly stuck with me and my Deep Thoughts du Jour on this whole newlywed thing and how one has to adapt to new ways of thinking. I promise, this navel-gazing will be blissfully short and hopefully not as painfully "duh"-level obvious as it sounds. Besides, as a married lady of all of nearly two, yes
two years, I figure I'm an expert by now, no?
So back when I was one of those sparkly "new" newlyweds with unicorns and rainbows prancing about my still-to-be-unwrapped wedding gifts, any new ways of thinking tended along the more superficial. The money and housing sort of Grown-Up Stuff wasn't really an issue. For little ol' me, it was that I took the Anonymous Husband's family name and, as a result, couldn't for the life of me politely introduce myself for our first marital year without: (1) feeling completely show-offy, as if I were braying "Hello, I'm Mrs. Legallyblondemel.
Legallyblondemel, that is. What's that about a first name? I much prefer the formal
Mrs."; and/or (2) forgetting whether or not an explanation of shiny new last name was even necessary in the first place. Being shamefully bad enough with other people's names, both first and last, it seemed reckless to take on a new one of my own, and it certainly took time to get the brain-to-mouth motor skills working on its behalf.
As the AH and I round the corner from years 2 to 3, I find the brain re-programming to be a tad more taxing in nature; lately, it's the taking any potential marital issues to my actual Anonymous Husband first prior to vivisecting them in excruciating detail first each time with the Girlfriend Committee ("GC"). Although it must be said the GC has the benefit of good champagne, the importance of which cannot be overemphasized. But back to the point
assuming I have one - none of this is to say that I don't absolutely rely on the GC's counsel in almost all situations, but after twenty-some years of making most decisions by group vote, I am trying to be more mindful about, say, actually discussing them with the AH first when appropriate.
This is absolutely, definitely
not my arguing that the GC shouldn't be consulted about some things - just that there are also a few bits that are best left in the marital circle, if for no other reason than many friends or family members (if they are anything like the Pretty, that is) remember every last *$&^ thing and will hold it against the Offender until the end of time. As well they should in many situations, of course; for example, I take great comfort in the fact that my family to this day loathes my 4th Grade Archnemesis for the unforgivable trickery she pulled at our end-of-the-school-year party (which involved embarrassment, Dainties, and an adorable boy). But seriously - I'm learning that there are times when it seems best to just do the spouse-to-spouse emotional warfare first, and that sometimes the good stuff is in figuring things out together. I know, this sounds unforgivably hokey - not to mention entirely impossible at times - but hopefully every solid marriage sees the unicorn-and-rainbows aspect even in the problem areas?
So what say you, internet GC - does this sound familiar to anyone else, singles and dating-s and affianced included? Any advice from the Marriage Experts out there? Please try to ignore the tremendous irony in my asking for your GC thoughts, after having just said it isn't something I should always rely on . . .
