Monday, March 25, 2013

The Perfectly Imperfect Ending

This is the post I've been waiting to write for, oh, ever.

This is the post I've been dreading writing for a long while, too.

As my Twitter peeps already know, I am - ta-da! - with child:

Photo at 21 weeks - slightly more than halfway and already sporting a double chin / still wildly uncomfortable in front of a camera
Yes, I'm due in July just like a certain Princess Shinylocks / imaginary BFF with a baby girl. Yes, this means that the Ralph Lauren-style family of four, the stuff of my childhood dreams, is actually happening.

I'm ecstatic. (Duh.)

I'm still in shock, given the fertility fight it took to get here. I really mean that "shock" bit . . . I often find myself wandering into the soon-to-be-nursery, gazing at the growing collection of impossibly teeny-tiny girl clothes, wondering how it is that I get to do this.

I'm .  . . round-the-clock eating my (skyrocketing) weight in sugary carbs.

I'm also freaked out, to use the scientific phrase, by the impending challenge of wrangling two children at once, on top of the no-sleep-sanity-optional Hurricane Newborn normal. I worry about my ability to raise a baby girl when I have a complex mother-daughter kinda-sorta relationship myself.

I'm doing my best to balance all of the above by shopping for those teeny-tiny girl clothes and blowing up Pinterest with nursery design inspiration (read: HELLO, nesting hormones!).

***

It's a funny thing, going public with a pregnancy after having shared my struggle to get here. As utterly thrilled as I am, I'm also painfully aware that there are others in the fertility trenches who will read this and wonder, "Why her and not me?", who will sigh at yet another social media pregnancy announcement ugh.

Hence my hesitation to put this up at all - until I remembered the support you readers, all three of you, gave me and, indirectly, the spiffy Anonymous Husband too during that awful time.

I owe you a very humble thank you for seeing me through it all - not that this was the ALL OVARIES ALL THE TIME! station, but in between the Pretty bits - and wanted you to know this improbably perfect conclusion to a wildly imperfect beginning.

I'd also love to be a resource for anyone else dealing with infertility and/or PCOS in particular; please feel free to send me questions, frustrations, etc. (contact info at the bottom of this post). It so helped me hearing from others who had successfully conceived after being diagnosed that I felt I needed to overcome my hesitation and share my news here too.

***

And since I'm in the updating way today, I owe you an update on the big brother himself:


At almost 3, Master P alternates between being the most and the least charming individual I know. His language, creativity, and awareness have skyrocketed - we're living in the inquisitive "WHY???-land" now - and I'm just enough of a former lawyer to (mostly) be enjoying it.

On the flip side, his newfound ability to turn even the smallest of matters into a power struggle has me wishing I could just have a damned bottle glass of pinot already. He longs to be independent except for the ways in which it might make my life easier, having dropped his nap (SOB) and showing little interest in p-o-t-t-y training ("potty" spelled out to protect the innocent eyes of any Cheerfully Child-Free readers uninterested in my preschooler's bowels).

Oh, but the good days are just so very, very good. When he beams at someone and chirps, "Hi there!", when he expertly pilots his balance bike around the playground, when he excitedly talks about "baby sister!", there's no greater joy. Pinky swear.

***

On the joy note, as much as I've missed blogging and the blog community, stepping away was & continues to be a happy thing here.

This is SO taboo for a blogger to admit - I'm cringing with social media shame as I type this - but this site never resonated with you readers in the way I secretly hoped it would. After some time away, I finally admitted to myself that it bothered me. For the better part of four plus years I've been pressuring myself to make something happen here that just wouldn't. Frankly, if I didn't care about things gathering reader traction, I'd be journaling like any normal narcissist.

Other quasi-legitimate excuses for my time away include:

(1) When Mother Nature demanded in my first trimester that I "RELAX!", I was only too happy to listen. When Master P napped, I napped - and . . . oh, how I miss those naps. *tangential sigh*; I did this the last time I was pregnant too - gestating and blogging somehow don't mix for me.

(2) When the wee CEO nap died, POOF! went the time I'd previously spent writing & editing.

(3) BABY GIRL CLOTHES SHOPPING OMGEEEEEE! And . .  .

(4) As much joy as I've derived here, I've begun to suspect there might be a different creative outlet in my future.

Now I'm channeling that creative impulse (see above re: overpowering nesting hormones) into decorating the nursery and other hausfrau projects I never had time for while trying to make this here site happen. But for blogging, I wouldn't have even known I was inclined to be creative . . . not a bad side benefit from this little hobby, not to mention the virtual book of schmoopy-doopy family memories I've inadvertently created here, the friends like you I've met . . .

So my hiatus here remains indefinite as I chew on my next social media step. I'm thinking "next step" = the newly born Miss Pretty, then on to . . . I'm not sure yet, but there will be something. I strive to fail up, to fail better, stumbling along doing what I love in my next reading & writing adventure.

Until then, thank you. Pretty please keep in touch on Twitter or Pinterest or olde-timey email (ipickpretty AT gmail). xo

47 comments:

Sarah said...

Congratulations!! I thought maybe this was the case, based on your Pinterest activity as of late, and almost emailed you but decided against it in case it wasn't true. I'm so glad that it is. I'm not on Twitter, but I do hope you'll update the blog when Little Pretty arrives!

Jen said...

Was so happy to hear your news. I love(d) your blog. It seemed very well received to me...but I can understand and relate to your feelings on that topic. Thanks for your honesty!

{Jessica} said...

Congratulations, Melissa! I had a feeling, after you hadn't written for a while, that something BIG must be happening! SO happy to see this on my Blogfeed today. And so excited for you. A girl? YAY! I miss your witty banter, but understand the need for a blog hiatus. I echo the sentiments above in saying that I hope you will update when Little Pretty arrives!

Leslie Ann said...

Congratulations. I'm very happy for you.

I think that the blogging world is fickle thing full of lemmings and a lot of the quality writing and thoughtfulness that people put into their blogs gets lost. I understand.

Sarah said...

YAY! Congratulations on sweet baby girl!!!!

I do hope you'll keep writing, I think you are very talented and funny!

Samma said...

Your blog has resonated with me, my friend! I can't wait to see that baby girl when she arrives. The clothes are oh so dangerous.

Ashley @ The Houston House said...

OMG!!! Congratulations!! This post made me so happy. CONGRATS!

Chaaron @SenseandNonsenseBlog said...

I've been following on Twitter, but was hoping you'd update on the blog with your good news. I can't imagine all of the beautiful things in Little Pretty's wardrobe. And what amazing timing to be due at the same time of your Princess best friend. Your children will love growing up together.

Wendy Woodall said...

Oh how I miss you, but glad you're are doing the best thing!!! And so happy for you and your family!

Eat. Live. Laugh. and sometimes shop! said...

Congratulations!!! And welcome to the perfect 1 boy / 1 girl family club. It really is quite perfect!!

I too have stepped away from blogging for now. I'm not gestating; just lazy I suppose. It's more work than anyone knows and when it starts feeling like a pressing obligation . . . well, I'll just have to pass on that for now.

I wish you all the best!!

xoxo, Amy

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! I really have enjoyed reading your blog (been reading through the archives whilst you've been on hiatus) and I think you're a great writer (not unlike one of my favorites - Jen Lancaster) - funny and real.
Best wishes to you and your (growing!) family!
Kendall (30 something preppy lawyer lady / mom to two wee lads /wife to one anonymous hubs)

amyevolving said...

More squeals for the wee Pretty on the way!

I still believe we are cut from the same cloth and stepping away has been amazing for me, so I can completely relate. Somehow stepping away from something "big" that I was putting so much effort into has helped me be less harsh on myself in other areas too.

And MP is as handsome as ever. 3 is really fun (aside from the inevitable p-o-t-t-y stuff!)

Danielle said...

Congratulations! I've been wondering where you've been :)

loveyoumuches.com said...

Congratulations!

I was really excited when a new post from you popped up in my feed, by the way :)

Sweet Caroline said...

I've been wondering where you went! Congratulations! I love to read your blog, but enjoy your time away!

phiphis blog said...

i'm beaming with joy for you and your wonderful family!

i hope you are well, and i miss your posts, but am so happy that you are enjoying this chapter. i love the pictures of master P. he's such a big boy now!

following you now on pinterest too - pinning girly nursery pictures? i'm there!

xox P

Whitney said...

There's a season for everything. Your season, my pretty, is growing a human! Know exactly what you mean. So thankful for the update - you look precious and I think it's PERFECT that you and Princess Shinylocks are prego at the same time. Just perfect.

Natalie said...

I've always enjoyed your writing! Please at least keep the site active. I send people to your consignment post all the time! Xoxo

Steel Magnolia said...

So glad to see you back today!! Huge congratulations, although I think I said it on Twitter when you announced.

I have MISSED your writing - please don't stop!!

Can't wait to see Miss Pretty's face. And closet.

All the best.

Ashlee said...

Congratulations! Such exciting news! Thanks for sharing!

Master P is as cute as ever!

I'll follow along on Twitter just to make sure I catch a glimpse of little Miss. Pretty!

Desiree Lynn said...

I'm so happy for you and so sad at the same time. I always loved your honesty so in keeping with that theme thanks for being honest yet again.

Lisa @ Trapped In North Jersey said...

congratulations :-) I have loved your blog, you are a fabulous writer . Please please pretty please look me up in May when you are out here.

Classy Fab Sarah said...

I'm so so thrilled for your impending, pink arrival!! You look so beautiful!

Perfectly Imperfect said...

Look how pretty!! You know I am beyond thrilled over the upcoming bundle of pink. Now if you and the Duchess have sweet girls at the same time? soul sistas for sure :)

And how are our babies almost three?!? I'll drink a bottle of pinot for us. Sigh... growing so fast.

BeeBeeZfa said...

Congratulations! Double chin or not, you make pregnancy look fabulous.

Rachel said...

Congratulations! :) You look adorable.

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Shannon Sentences said...

Congratulations, Mel! I'm so happy for you and your adorable little family. Glad you're back on the interwebs with such great news!

Meg said...

Congratulations. Glad you updated the blog. I would have wondered "I wonder if IPP ever got a #2. I hope so"
Checked in on a whim and got good stuff.


I miss your blog, but I understand not doing it any longer. I don't blog for a reason! Besides you will need more time to dedicate to multiple changings just so your daughter can wear all those fabulous clothes!

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Tiffany said...

You look amazing and beautiful, as always.

It's funny, I think we must all be our harshest critics. You make it sound like your blog is a failure, when I have always felt it's one of the best-written and witty blogs I've ever read, with loads of followers. I still say someday you need to write a book (will you thank me in the acknowledgements? LOL).

I'm beyond thrilled for you and for your picture-perfect family. You'll be a great mother to your daughter just as you are to your son. Because you're a great person. Period.

Best wishes to you, Mel.

Tippy x

Alexandra Hovatter said...

I have a pretty complicated relationship with my mom too. It worries me too when I eventually have a little girl, how that will affect our relationship. Congratulations on the pregnancy!

The Mrs. said...

Well HOT DAMN. Nice work! You are now a lotto winner like myself. I LOVE having a boy and a girl. And they're BFFs so it rocks. Happy for uuuuuuuu!! Following you on Pinterest! Tweet you soon!

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Rhi said...

I am THRILLED for you and I do love your blog so I hope you'll be back. xo

Nat said...

Somehow I missed this post!!! Congratulations!! I'm so happy that you get to write this post and that you're having a little girl! Little girl clothes are to.die.for cute! So happy for you and your family!

Marta said...

Congrats! That is so very very exciting. So happy for you.

I went a little crazy with the girl clothes when I found out I was pregnant with a girl. I recommend just staying away from BabyGap and the absurd cuteness.

I very much so have felt many times the way you do about blogging, but have never been able to actually step away!

MEGANMCFEE said...

Aw, I'm happy for you and your family, but sad about the blog. I wish you all the best. So much of your writing resonated with me and I enjoyed your posts. You made me laugh many times and thanks for all the effort you put into your blog. It was like reading about a parallel universe and it helped me feel less alone.

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