How to Shop When You Hate Shopping

The unending clothes selection. The overzealous sales assistants. Those mirrors that - how, how??? - magically add those ten pounds you just busted your now-less-curvy rear to lose. And don't get me started on the swimsuit shopping.

Whatever your shopping (dis)pleasure, we've all been there, even those of us who never met a sample sale we didn't like. How to make the process a bit easier for us all, especially for those of you who despair of the whole shebang?

"For realz, Pretty?" I can hear you smirking. "Why on Earth would we be listening to you of all people about this subject? Surely you're too busy following every 80's inspired trend going to have something to say about this, for starters?"

Um.

Here's the thing - I do not claim to be an expert here or even to be - Nordstrom help us - a fashion blogger. I make plenty of fashion mistakes. My style may not be your thing. However, after thirtysomething-four years of practice, I'm not intimidated by the shopping thing. From Marshalls to Neiman Marcus, I've got a good system down that keeps my wardrobe (mostly) in budget and in stuff that (I hope) suits my "pear" body shape.

Also, a new-to-me blogger friend asked me to talk about this - hi, new blogger friend! - so, um, there.

Ahem. Here are six Pretty ideas for the Anti-Shopping Crowd:

Identify One Wardrobe Item You Want to Improve

Try to be as specific as possible here about one item you need - saying you need "a new work wardrobe" is too vague and is usually overwhelming, even for those of us who love the game. "A work blouse that works in the colorblocking trend yet is appropriate for an office setting" is much more helpful.

Find a Photo of the Look You Want, Ideally On Someone with Your Figure

Yes, I'm giving you leave to spend quality time with non-quality fashion mags, or your favorite style blogs, or that great time/money/will-to-live suck, Pinterest. A visual makes gives you a tangible thing to work towards and, again, anything we can pin down before you hit stores makes things less intimidating.

It's ok if you don't find a firm, "I MUST HAVE THIS!" idea, or if the image suits the look you want but not your budget. Part of the idea of this is that you may not be buying things right now, hence you may have no idea what to look for or be picking the same ol' thing over & over again. Just rip out pages of things that strike your fancy looks-wise for now.

This is a bit of advanced work I can cover in another post, but of course it helps to be finding stuff that suits your body type - yes, even celebrities and style bloggers come in different shapes (if seemingly not non-00 sizes). Again, if you're not at the point where you know that, that's ok too; here are some articles to get you thinking about dressing for your body type.

Just to use ME ME ME as an example, one of many reasons I worship at the altar of that High Priestess of Prep, Jackie O. (or "Mrs. JBKO" in Pretty parlance) - is that she was actually a pear shape as well. Those a-line dresses and boatneck cuts she favored happen to suit my own slender shoulders to wider hips proportions. Kristin Davis and the current Mrs. O(bama) are two other preppish, classically styled pears who know how to work that look's strengths.

(via)

While you're researching - see how we just classed up "reading US Weekly"? - it's important to get a grasp on what colors suit you too; that's also beyond the scope of what I'm getting into here today, but this book has been a helpful starting point for me (some photos are dated, but the basic premise remains valid).

Make a Shopping Date with Your Most Honest (Honest as Possible, That Is) Friend

I always laugh at magazines giving this "Find your brutally honest friend to tell you what looks good on you!" line since, if your good friends are anything like mine, "brutally honest" has to be read in between the painfully polite lines of "Hmms . . ." and "You look wonderful in anything, but . . ."

There are some other caveats here - we're all biased towards the looks that look good on us, for example, so while you take your friend's thoughts into consideration, you ultimately decide. The help of a good salesperson can be a helpful counterbalance to this (if you can find one, that is - more on that later).

Here's the thing, though - sometimes you need a second pair of eyes, preferably sympathetic ones, to get you started. So pick a friend whose style you've always admired, or the most straightforward of your politely non-confrontational bunch, and offer to buy them lunch in exchange for one hour of their shopping time. Chances are they'd love to see you and are flattered you'd ask. Which leads me to my next point . . .

Give Yourself an Incentive

For any despised activity, we need motivation - or this lazybones does, at least. If the clothes themselves aren't the payoff, build in a lunch with a friend or buy yourself an in-budget treat for getting yourself to mall up. Speaking of . . .

Shop in Person, For Now

Speaking of malls, this online shopper regrets to inform you that, when possible, you may want to start off this process in person. What looks good in photos doesn't always translate in reality, and when you're finding what works on you, it helps to test a bunch of different looks and sizes.

(via)

I know, I know - malls are full of people and salespeople and a million billion options - but why not identify one or two stores at most and start there? If your stars are aligned and you find an actually helpful, non-pushy salesperson, they can serve as a second set of eyes and a counterbalance to your "honest" (still in quotes, yep) friend. If I'm not in Introvert Shopping Mode & looking for salesperson help, I look for the one I most like the styling of (if any) and shamelessly hit them up for advice.

If shopping in person is just out of the question - as it often is for me now with the wee CEOs schedule / intrinsic shopping hatred - this may be obvious, but avail yourself of an online store offering free shipping & returns. My trick is to order the item I want in a number of sizes so I can easily return the ones that don't fit.

Be Open to Trying a New Store / a New Look / Not the Sale Rack

Based on my *highly scientific and, like, totally academic research*, a number of you hate shopping because you're stuck in your comfort zone - either you're stuck in the same look or fall in the trap of just buying whatever's on sale vs. what really suits you.

Once you've identified the one to two stores you're hitting up, give the entire place a look - not just your old familiar stuff, and definitely not just the sales rack. For the same price, you're better off buying one full-price piece that truly flatters you versus five on sale items that will better highlight your closet than your behind.

***
Not that I really know what I'm doing here, but - any other questions, Pretties? Was this helpful?

Interested in being a guinea pig for an upcoming Smug Mummy Makeover idea I'm working on? Please leave me a comment with your info or email me - ipickpretty AT gmail.

Top 10 Gift Ideas for Mother's Day

[This is being typed to you after a certain Pretty stayed up far too late at a concert - a fantastic one, mind you - but I'm too old / get off my lawn/ bring me a latte / and some Nutella / for this. Thank you for bearing with the less chatty results.]

Here's what we Smug Mummies are supposed to want for Mother's Day: the mere presence of our wee darling angels; our significant others, if we have one(s), bringing us breakfast in bed or taking us to fancy brunch.

Here's what we Smug Mummies actually want: all of the above + sparkly jewelry + free time. The end. As that infernal personal injury lawyer currently plaguing Austin's airwaves reminds us, "It's just that easy."

If, however, you're not the sort to take the easy way out when shopping for Mom - or you have a Spousal Sort who would benefit from some concrete ideas being, you know, emailed directly to him/her via my blog (entirely by accident, of course), here are some Pretties for your perusal:

Clockwise from left: artwork (by one of my favorite bloggers!) / coral earrings (spotted by Shasta Anne) / sweets / spa gift card / Nars "Kutki" (currently sold out - love "Mint Candy Apple" alternative here) with manicure appointment / chore IOUs / tote (stuffed with fun books & DVDs, if not diamonds) / mint earrings / necklace (we adore a good silhouette) / card

You may have noticed that jewelry makes not one, not two, but *three* appearances on this guide. I just wanted to make it obvious for when you - oops, totally by mistake! - leave this open on your SO's desk.

Any other must have Mother's Day finds?

On the Pretty Bookshelf: "Bringing Up Bebe" Review

In addition to my mildly regular monthly book updates here, I post in more detail about what I'm reading over at Goodreads, cha cha cha.

***

"Bringing Up Bebe" by Pamela Druckerman

I wanted to hate this.

I really did.

I've had it up to HERE with pop culture telling us how French women are less fat and more chic and entirely more perfect than the rest of us mere mortals, blah blah blah (Allow me to summarize, "Dress for your body type + eat what you want in moderation" --> instant best seller).

I do not subscribe to the notion that any one nationality - or parenting philosophy, or book, or magical Disney genie - has the Secret to Good Parenting.

My eyeballs nearly sprung themselves from their sockets, so eager were they to roll at what struck me as such a "duh" call to common sense parenting based on the original hype.

The thing is . . . despite my best, most cynical efforts . . .

. . . "Bebe" was charming - thought provoking, even. It's neither the fangirl-style love letter to the French nor the parenting manual I'd feared. Rather, it reads more like a casual chat with a well-read friend, peppered with personal observations and autobiographical details from the author, an American expat raising three young children in Paris. It describes her sociological take on French parenting practices through each stage of early childhood - much of which, it must be said, we practice here at Pretty HQ.

Here's the paragraph that struck me first, the one about how parents publicly show commitment to their children. This got me thinking there's something common sense being overlooked here in my yuppie slice of American parenthood:

American women typically demonstrate our commitment by worrying and by showing how much we're willing to sacrifice, even while pregnant, whereas French women signal their commitment by projecting calm and flaunting the fact that they haven't renounced pleasure.

I'll never forget when the Anonymous Husband & I hired our (American) pediatrician, the phrase that ultimately sold me on his practice, "I'm here to help you raise a happy, healthy baby *and* to make your lives as easy as possible while you do it."

Our lives? I remember almost feeling guilty for even thinking about us - it felt positively revolutionary - though I quickly moved on to being relieved that somebody, somewhere had remembered we as parents exist too, that we are entitled to happiness individually and as a married couple in addition to caring for the wee CEO. Nothing - not my culture, not the books I read pre-baby - but nothing before had encouraged us to balance out the child and the us.

Turns out our pediatrician was on to something French . . . it was fascinating to read how the French cultural mindset plays out specifically in the lives of French children, from breastfeeding to infant sleep training to toddler manners training (hello, timeliness!) and independent play.

There's something here to offend anyone looking for a parenting philosophy fight - the dismissive French attitude towards stay-at-home-mothers isn't one I endorse, for (obvious) example - nor does the author, notably. Many American moms may take issue with the apparent French attitudes on breastfeeding and sleep training.

What I appreciated about this book was that the author wasn't necessarily advocating for those practices - in fact, she details the many areas in which she personally doesn't follow the French norm with her own children. Again, when read as an informal study and not as a how-to parenting manual, there's much to be learned here.

While I myself won't be putting all of "Bebe"'s parenting ideas into practice - for example, having dealt with older kids running amok French-style on the playground while their parents blithely ignore their little bullies and enjoy a chat, I'm happy to remain more American on that front - I do take away many solid ideas for working with Master P on patience and manners, as well as appreciating the natural rhythms of his day when it comes to independent play.

Imaginary berets *and* a French sailor shirt - we're naturals for this Frenchy stuff (photo credit: Ziem Photography)

I remain committed to the concept we already have in practice here of good sleep being key to a happy household, as is time away for the parents and eating everything in moderation. We hope to teach Master P to make his own decisions within the boundaries of a consistent discipline structure.

Should Imaginary Child 2.0 come into being, I'll also attempt to have a more French, less guilt- and misery-ridden perspective should breastfeeding not work out for us again - baby, mother, *and* family all considered.

I recommend this to anyone looking for some parenting theories to chew on with my usual caveat - don't treat this or any other parenting book like a set-in-stone Bible, but merely an intriguing jumping off point from which to form your own opinions. The biggest mistakes I feel I've made in parenting so far happened when I was paying more attention to a book or a mommy groupthink versus the actual living, breathing child before me.

I'll continue to work towards the following, though I wouldn't have thought to put it this way before:

I'm still striving for that French ideal: genuinely listening to my kids but not feeling that I must bend to their wills. I still declare, "It's me who decides" in moments of crisis, to remind everyone that I'm in charge. I see it as my job to stop my kids from being consumed by their own desires. But I also try to say yes as often as I can.

Yep. Is that really French or controversial so much as just a good idea?

A Scheduling SOS

Ok, which one of you did it?

*waits impatiently for a show of hands*

Which one of you knew that Master P and I had settled into a good daily routine, two hour nap included, affording me nearly enough time to do both that which I want to do and that which I housewifely must?

Who told him to start waking up as soon as I arise for my 30 minutes of pre-baby pre-husband caffeinated quiet time *shakes fist at centrally located but old/tiny/loud house*, shorten if not skip his naps entirely, and demand fairly constant attention otherwise (which I'm usually happy to give, but . . .)? #whinebitchmoancomplain

It's the great irony of new mom life, isn't it - as soon as your wee precious angel is no longer a non-sleeping newborn and you can get as much sleep as you need most nights (or close to it), you don't want to.

I look at my daily schedule with the zeal of an editor desperately looking for places to hack away, willing myself to need less sleep so I can just sneak in a little "me" time read a book or write a post already (or, you know, sweep the floors and pay a bill or two, blah blah) in between doing mom and wife duty. . . not unlike a toddler, actually, I want less snooze and more time for everything else.

I don't want less mom / wife / friend / volunteer time, not one bit - but can a girl get a bit more, well, girl time on top of it? (And still refer to herself as "girl" at the ripe ol' age of thirty-four?)

The start of today's to-do list - if I write it down, it's almost as if I've completed it, right?

I miss nothing nothing nothing about my dreary past lawyer life except for the ability to address my to-do list and have a little unscheduled fun time. As a mom here in the US I'm not supposed to admit that, I suspect - that's some foreshadowing for tomorrow's book review, ooh la la! - but . . .

Don't get me wrong - I'm grateful to have this high class problem, if also struggling to keep up with the ever changing rules of the game. This too shall pass - I recall when I've struggled to find this balance before, and equilibrium always restores itself, usually just as I grow accustomed to whatever phase it was.

That being said - 6 a.m. tomorrow morning, with the stealth of a ninja warrior (if also a ballet flat-clad one), I sneak out for my double date of at least one blissful hour with my Keurig and my laptop, if we can call something involving my fuzzy bath robe & living room a "date". No telling the toddler, mm'kay?

Smug Mummy Style: A Colored Denim Copy-Kate

I'm a mature, thirtysomething year old woman of substance, not given to thinking of myself as royalty despite my flagrant overuse here of the royal "We".  And so it goes that I certainly did not arise at 3 a.m. nearly one year ago to pretend I was a princess and fall over myself with girl crushing on a certain Princess Shinylocks getting hitched that day.

Yeah, we definitely did not - not not not! - do just that on April 29th, 2011, Twitter evidence to the contrary notwithstanding. Nope:

My kingdom for a fascinator.

And so it logically follows that we are not waiting with some excitement - I mean, I would *never*- for the upcoming one-year-anniversary of a certain Duchess and her Prince, the Duke of Please Keep Your Hat On. And not buying the umpty-million trashy magazines shamelessly flogging re-tread Wills & Kate photos and pregnancy rumors. Um.

Thankfully for you, a certain blogger gets to channel some of this tragic fangirl-ism into an upcoming trip across the Pond - yes, I am a lucky bastard (or would be, if I were capable of using indelicate terms like "bastard" without clutching my pearls). Until then, I'm throwing together some Kate-inspired togs that can withstand both the travel there and the toddler here.

Remember that candy-colored denim post as inspired by La Shinylocks' recent wearing of those coral Zara jeans? Here's my take on that for a day of sightseeing and - let's not kid ourselves - shopping, keeping her signature ladylike feel while incorporating high/low basics already in my wardrobe:

Clockwise from left: blazer / blouse (budget version here) (also, can anyone say "blouse" without feeling 105?) (Parentheses) / necklace / Pippa / flats / jeans (Zara skinnies similar to Kate's here) / bracelets / sparkle

And here's how I wore it over the weekend, subbing in the above Gap jeans which better suit my pear shape, budget equivalents of that blouse and blazer (no longer available online, unfortunately), and my warm weather Church of (Tory) Burch "Miller 2" sandals:

Neveryoumind what I wrote recently about not pairing black with neon - think the blue dots tie it together nicely here, eh? Besides, if you can't contradict yourself on your own blog, where can you?

With the colored, usually skinner denim, I pair a looser top to counterbalance the slender bottoms, a mix that keeps things more classic Duchess and less Kardashian (and no, I will not spell "classic" with a "K", forces of pop culture evil).

Lest you fear hope I'm done with my royal obsessing, rest assured I'll be posting more Copy-Kates over the next few weeks. Not that I'm, ya know, hoping that via my expertly selected wardrobe & mere presence in the UK she & I will become instant friends or something. Um.

Posting About Posting: Coming Out About Your Blog

"Posting About Posting" is another accidental series I started about social media stuff; I wish I could tell you why, but I do know it gives us a break from my usual talking about shoes. You can read more here and here, though I'm not sure why you would.

***

"I feel like a voyeur when I read your blog," a playgroup friend and reader (hi, friend!) mentioned to me today.

"Yep," I nodded. "Pretty soon you'll be mentioning things in conversation we never discussed, and I'll think 'What the Hell - how did she know . . .' only to remember that you read my nonsense."

It's a funny thing for those of us "out of the closet" to real-life friends about this blogging thing, the way it changes our interaction with them. Something about a friend seeing the written side of you can steal that chatty interaction you once had with one another, the back and forth of "How are you doing?" - tough to ask that conversation kick-starter when we bloggers do little but go on and on (and ON) about exactly how we're doing.

I also can't get the phrase "my blog" out in conversation without blushing furiously and worrying that my non-social media peeps perceive this as a hobby on par coolness-wise with the "Dungeons & Dragons" crowd (is there still one of those?) or, worse, people who still use the term "peeps".

On the other, manicured hand, I've found it's mostly been a good thing letting people in on this little invisible world of ours. It has sparked discussions with friends I don't think we would have had otherwise. It also helps that they know why I may be obsessively taking photos of my shoes or panicked about finding a cell signal or something similarly (ab)normal at any given moment.

As I tell more people about this silly online diary of mine, I struggle sometimes to write like nobody's reading, if you'll forgive me borrowing a completely trite phrase - that is, to pen what I hope is passably decent without worry whether anyone likes my drivel. To resist writing what I suspect might merely be popular and stick to what is true to . . . uh, whatever the heck it is I'm doing here.

Which in part is a big, fat lie, of course, since we bloggers secretly want everyone, real life friend or otherwise, to love us so that we can be discovered and have great big giant book deals magically fall in our laps and be besties with Gwyneth, all while maintaining our indie blogger cred and not selling out with increasingly generic, dull posts.

Or, um, something like that. Know what I mean? Are you "out" yet?

Smug Mummy Style: Going Green

Smug Mummy Style is an irregular regular series in which I scratch my virtual shopping itch, putting together outfits that work with the chasing-toddlers lifestyle in thought, word, and (mostly) budget. Should you suffer from insomnia feel free to check out other SMS posts here and here.

Good things come in mint - juleps and Girl Scout cookies, for starters.

(What, you thought from the title this was going to be a post about going eco? We can do one of those too - as well as throwing around the Royal "We" inappropriately - but being Earth friendly goes without saying here. Listen, I live in hippie liberal Austin - we just do things like recycle, turn off lights, and use reusable shopping totes, lest we be run out of town with hemp pitchforks or something. Heck, I even wear vintage - talk about recycling! So, um, there.)

Ahem.

Anywhoo, mint is but another part of the Easter colorpalooza springing up in stores (AHAHA, see what I did there?!?) lately. As with the other technicolor trends, this preppish sort feels right at home with this candy color. Though the shade is familiar, it's showing up on a number of new sorts of clothes & cosmetics, which makes it accessible at a number of price points:

Clockwise from left: earrings / dress (sold out, similar here) / necklace / shirt / polish / Pippa / shoes / jeans

I'm still playing around with how to pair mint up color-wise - worn in excess, you risk looking like a be-scrubbed (if chic) surgeon. However, it can be such a subtle color it almost works as a neutral; I also like how internet BFF Shabby Princess has it paired up with coral. Today* I'm pairing it with whites and nude neutrals to let the mint stand out.

(*Yes, I - avowed skinny jean avoider - am giving them a test run. I have not forsaken you, bootcuts of yore, but I'm begrudgingly trying to keep up with the times - just in time for the trend to go away, if my track record on style resistance/acceptance is any indication.)

Anyone else having a minty moment - or in sudden need of some Junior Mints?

Minding Your (Master) P's & Q's

Over the weekend it dawned on the Anonymous Husband & I - only some 22 months into the life of our wee darling CEO - that we might need to ramp up his manners training. Adorable as he may be . . .

The face of impending mischief

. . . he has taken to running our household with the entitled, maniacal zeal of a third world dictator. Orders are barked out, conversations are interrupted, fingers are gruffly grabbed as parents are dragged to and fro. Suggestions that he do ordinary things, like sit at the dinner table, are taken as an extreme insult.

Like any decent, apparently French parents, we realized that, while the antics are entirely typical of toddlerdom, we need to start expecting more Miss Manners and less Machiavelli.  As expected, our results have been splendid so far . . . for example, witness the following conversation between the AH & Master P, as son attempts to harass father into handing over yet another slice of dinnertime (organic hormone-free fun-free) cheese:

Master P: "Cheese, no!" (meaning "now", we think?)

The AH, trying not to laugh: "Master P, can you say - 'May I please have some cheese?'"

MasterP, after pausing briefly for stern reflection: "Cheese, NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Mischief in action, escaping the dread dinner table

Clearly our first mistake was in forgetting that cardinal rule of lawyers - don't ask a question to which you don't already know the answer.

Which is my way of saying - please send help, either in the form of a top litigator or Emily Post. Pretty please?

Smug Mummy Style: Neon Loves Neutral

"Smug Mummy Style" is an irregular regular series in which I virtually scratch my shopping itch, putting together outfits that work with the chasing-toddlers lifestyle, in thought, look, and (occasionally) budget. If you're struggling to sleep at night, you can read other recent installments here and here.

***

Like Kim and Kanye, you never think of certain things coming together until they do, then you wonder why that picture perfect pairing of massive ego never occurred to you before.

The neon trend, when paired with neutral basics, is one such match made in colorful heaven - less the famewhore shenanigan potential of a Kim'Ye, thank Neiman Marcus. I'm all for colorblocking slightly more muted colors, but the neutral background here lets the bright neon stand out while letting you feel like you aren't entirely searing the retinas of all around you.

By mixing your trendy brights with your more traditional pieces, you're also keeping to my "invest in the classics, spend less on the trendy" philosophy. We're all about the Pretty here, Pretty savings accounts especially - the neon is a trend, and therefore I will try to spend (and rhyme! *jazz hands*) accordingly.

On the neutral note, I'd steer clear of too much black, which is a little too reminiscent of the 1980s pairings we oldsters once wore - a certain such jumpsuit of mine (!) comes to mind, sadly. Especially for those of us who survived this trend the first time around, better to pair your brights with a subtle navy, my personal favorite, or gray or tan.

With apologies that this is all a little Crew heavy - (confidential to the AH: by "Crew" I mean the preppish retailer, not the hair band of 80s fame, though of course I'm beside myself anticipating our upcoming concert date with Tommy Lee) - but I love what they're doing with this look:

Clockwise from left: tote / shirt (on sale!) / watch / sandals (old, similar here) / shorts

I fear this puts me at a 12 out of 10 on the Ed Hardy Scale of Doucheytude, but - after much mocking of the crappy-photo-in-bathroom-mirror, fashion blogger "outfit of the day" thing - here I am over the weekend modeling the above shirt, shoes n' top combo. Hypocrisy - it's what's for dinner; commence mockery:

Does the highlighter pink distract from my pastytude? The CBF? No?

Ahem. My favorite of the neons, cobalt blue and yellow, paired with the seersucker neutral already present in any good prep's wardrobe (or this one's, at least):

Clockwise from left: aviators / shirt (gorgeous detail in person) / earrings / cuff / tote / pants (the perfect lightweight summery fabric & cut) / wedges

Last but not least, today I set sail - wait for the cheesetastic metaphor tie-in here - with a pair of the Milly Topsiders I'd managed to find on-sale. They arrived less "coral" and more "CAPS LOCK HIGHLIGHTER ORANGE HOLD ME" than advertised but, emboldened by my kind Instagram friends who encouraged me to keep 'em, I rummaged around my closet & worked up the following ensemble:

Clockwise from left: sunglasses / tee / scarf / tote (old, similar here) / shoes (do not be fooled by their coral-ness here - these are BLINDING in person) (yes, I hereby deem "coral-ness" a word) / jeans / watch / earrings (on sale!)

Speaking of trends, however could it have taken me this long to hop on the boat shoe, uh, boat - I mean, you just never know when an emergency yachting situation is going to pop up, do you? 

What's your take on all of this - too bright or just right?

The Undomestic Goddess Confesses: Social Media Shaming

You know that feeling you have when you read a blog post or see a Pin and think to yourself ashamedly, "Ugh, if only I was that creative!" or "If I was really a good mom, I'd throw Martha Stewart-inspired birthday parties that looked like that?" 

This is assigned reading for all of us who have felt that shame, that sneaking suspicion that if we were really a decent friend / girlfriend / wife / mother / all of the above, we'd be waltzing through life with glue gun in one hand and the secret to happiness in the other.

*waits patiently for you to complete homework*

Of course, we're all about the Pretty here - and the inappropriate use of the royal "We", of course. I've even had the odd crafty moment or two myself. That being said, I wonder if all of this online admiring isn't creating a phantom sense of shame when we already have enough Friend / Wife / Mama Guilt to go around? After all, who are we trying to impress - our loved ones, or the internet?

That magnet board to Master P's right comprises one of my rare - as in, endangered species never spotted in wild rare - moments of craftitude.

Show of hands - who has a child who has protested his/her birthday party because it wasn't Pinterest- worthy? Had dinner guests who promptly left your house when they discovered you hadn't lovingly whipped up a seven-course, homemade, organic, gluten-free fun-free meal? A husband who left you because you haven't organized your accessories in picture perfect ROYGBIV order?

Me neither.

This isn't meant to be snarky at those of you for whom Pretty party planning & such are a joy, not one bit. Not not not, you can't make me, nanny nanny boo boo! When I'm not busy feeling inferior to your creative prowess, I'm inspired by it, pinky swear. It's wonderful that you whip up gorgeous meals, or interior design, or however it is you get creative, and occasionally I enjoy following your crafty lead.

It's just that I want to encourage the rest of us, the ones who aren't the creative whizzes lighting up Pinterest or Facebook, to take it easy on ourselves. Maybe we're good at something else - overpacking and racking up student loans, in my case - that isn't so flashily internet-worthy. Maybe we're taking the time we'd spend fussing over details only we or the Interwebs would notice and devoting those to family or another hobby that nourishes us. Maybe we all are contributing in our own ways.

Put a Pin in *that*, why don't you?

Smug Mummy Style: Colored Denim

Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1989 - or something equally cheesy and retro like that.

(Don't think I say "cheesy" or "retro" like they're bad things, by the way; I'm a mere jellybean jar away from being Ronald Reagan, so much do I love the '80s.)

I've long been an advocate of investing in classic clothes over spending on whatever is trendy. That being said, the Pretty judiciously endorses the occasional trend or twenty, particularly those followed by Princess Shinylocks herself.

And so I've broken my Lenten shopping fast with some 1980s inspired colored denim in vibrant Spring colors. Unlike the baggy, stonewashed versions of my youth, these are more color saturated and form-fitting - so much so that bootcut loving me - and my child-bearing hips - was/were terrified before I actually tried some on.

Fear not, fearless ones - there is a silhouette out there for all of us in the colored denim world, though it took some investigating to find it hidden amongst the omnipresent skinnies. The trick is in looking at where & how the jean hits your leg - if it's clinging to your ankles like Grim Death, odds are it isn't a flattering fit for those of us neither six feet tall nor six pounds wide. A straight leg cut or slightly looser skinny crop above the ankles makes a (pastel colored) world of difference.

I'm happy to report for once I also found good options at a variety of price points.  I usually spend on my denim, figuring I'll regularly wear it well beyond one season, but I pinched pennies here for more moderately priced Gap versions. From J Brand to JC Penney, though, there's a variety of fab choices I've divided into luxe & budget options:

Smug Mummy Style: Luxe Colored Denim by legallyblondemel featuring skinny leg jeans

left to right: pink / orange (aah-mazing fit in person) / lemon  (same as orange) / mint

Smug Mummy Style: Budget Color Denim by legallyblondemel featuring skinny leg jeans

left to right: cobalt / aqua / lime / yellow / coral / fuschia

Will you be hopping on the rainbow colored trend-wagon with me & the Duchess?

You Can't Go Home - Or Can You?

Subtitle: #spoiledyuppieproblems

I'm lucky to be able to go home to California a few times a year. I'm unlucky to be able to go home to California a few times a year.

Little detail at the home of my friend, the International Woman of Mystery; it's the sort of Spanish architecture (and friend) I miss most.

Confused? Me too. I just know that every time I return from a trip back to sunny San Diego, lo these seven years since I've moved to Texas, I come back in a bit of a melodramatic fog, a wistful tumble of "What ifs?" and homesickness. What if it's true that you can't - or shouldn't - really go home again?

(Not to be confused by the sort of "Huh???" ennui brought on by your average "Mad Men" episode, which is running at a 18.4 average this season. Zou Bisou Bisou don't you wish you knew where they were going with all of this?)

I miss the palm trees. I miss the beach. I miss my best friends. I miss decent weather and theater, mostly in that order. Hell, I sometimes even miss that slightly flaky frame of mind that passes as "laid back" there. More than anything, I miss the dream of the life I once envisioned - the schools to which I'd send my kids, the neighborhood I'd dreamed about moving to - the ones my best friends would have all lived in, conveniently - the summer beach parties . . .

. . . and yet . . . yet . . . to move back there would be to sacrifice the quality of life we have here, my ability to stay home with the wee CEO and live in a good school district and all of that other boring stuff we Smug Mummies care about. Living here, we can also travel and have occasional date nights out and still live comfortably, and this yuppie is incredibly grateful for it.

There's a lot of Texas that comes naturally to me, particularly now as a parent. I like the emphasis on family here, and I'm down with church and football, usually in that order. My head knows this.

I believe in blooming where you're planted, as it were - I can find happiness wherever I live. It's just that I'm not planted where I once thought I'd be. It's a wonderful life - just a different one than I'd envisioned.

Is it awful to admit that it would be strange for me to move back home and not be able to afford the life I enjoyed as a child?

Can I finally learn to live with missing home while appreciating the wonderful new home I have here?

Can we all admit that "GCB" is the best thing going in new television right now, big haired Hollywood-ized Texas camp and all?

Anyone else struggle with the desire to go home - or just "GCB"-style melodrama in general (sans the big hair, unfortunately - believe me, I've tried)?

Guest Post at Austin Moms Blog & Easter-palooza

Darlings! I'm back, like it or not! (Not) (As if) (Parentheses)

Anywhooo, I'm off to get hot & heavy with my long lost, Lenten-abandoned love, shopping - we're talking potential getting to second base here, so much have I missed it - but before I go, a few goodies for you . . .

- I'm posting over at the fabulous Austin Moms Blog today on the three most surprising things about being a stay-at-home-mom. Pretty please go check it out and leave them a comment noting how unusually intelligent / beautiful / awful, etc., I am, or run the risk of my giving you my patented Icy Glare of Judgment.

- Easter photos! Because everyone likes looking at a complete stranger's holiday snaps. Whatever - here they are, and you will like it. Because it's my blog, and I say so. (More on the actual trip home, toddler travel tips included, at a later date once my will to live has recovered):

Smug Toddler Style: Trendy Tots

"What is Pretty up to now???" I can hear you wondering. "Are you seriously telling us that we need to buy fancy, expensive outfits for our toddlers? When I barely have time / money to be trendy myself?"

Simmer down, sweetie darlings - fashion is fun, after all. I just saw some cute stuff I liked and figured I'd post 'em, basis in budget reality notwithstanding. I'm not spending $1798098gazillion on baby clothes and am not encouraging you to do so either. Not not not!

And - yes, pesky reality reminder - no toddler I've met will keep a hat on for more than two seconds, or sunglasses for much more than that. Whatevs.

But - DVF for BabyGap. Ahem - DVF FOR BABYGAP. Talk about a way to get my ovaries - and credit card - clickety clacking.

So let's just have fun playing around with Pretty clothes for the wee ones, shall we?

Smug Toddler Style: DVF Girl by legallyblondemel featuring flower hair accessories

Clockwise from left: backpack / dress / headband / sunglasses / shoes

Smug Toddler Style: DVF Girl Deux by legallyblondemel featuring knit dresses

Clockwise from left: bow (similar here) / dress / sunglasses / backpack / mary janes

Here's one for the wee CEO boy crowd. Sidebar: why are fedoras adorable for males under 10 or over 70, but douchey in between unless you're Don Draper?  

Smug Toddler: Boys of Summer by legallyblondemel on polyvore.com

Clockwise from left: hat (sold out - similar here)/ shirt / sunglasses / shorts / flip-flops (Master P actually has these, and they're cheap & wonderful - insert joke here) / backpack

Any other style requests from the pre-K set?

Gone Home

Source: marksportal.com via C on Pinterest

Pretty HQ has temporarily relocated to the 15th St. beach, so please direct any love notes and fan mail accordingly. It couldn't hurt to include a festive Easter margarita or two. xoxo

PS - scheduled style post up tomorrow (Thursday, April 5th), just in case you are desperate - DESPERATE! - to hear from me before I return. (As you should be) (Parentheses)

Why I Blog

Subtitle: "ME ME ME ME"

The quickest way to a blogger's heart is to ask her to write about herself. A Pretty reader, cleverly recognizing this, sent me some general blogging questions in connection with a research project; with her OK I'm reposting this here (with some minor style edits) in case my drivel is of any interest.

(And also because I just cried because Master P is on nap strike AGAIN CAPS LOCK and I feel like an old friend has died - namely, Mr. Will-To-Live. And I really should be packing for our mystery trip tomorrow - FORESHADOWING!!! - but instead I'm doodling around on here. And where are my "Housewives" and wine again?????)

Ahem:

When did you start blogging?

Oh, ages ago - or the summer of 2008, I believe.

Why did you start blogging?

The desire for instant fame & fortune, obviously.

The face of overnight success, circa 1980. You can't deny the pigtails.

Actually, I was just desperate for social and creative outlets. I felt stuck in a job that wasn't right for me, and an isolating one at that. I had just moved to Austin and was struggling without friends here since I commuted a long distance to that job - and because making friends after college sort of sucks. Am I right or am I right here?

Did it give you a sense of community?

Absolutely - it still does! That sense of community has really sustained my interest in blogging, back when I was a bored lawyer and now as a much less bored stay-at-home-mom. I've developed some dear friendship through this weird hobby of mine (ours).

What makes you continue blogging?

What makes me wake up every day and want to eat cake? It's just a part of me now. I feel off when I don't write a bit every weekday, though I've also enjoyed long writing breaks when I've needed them. For example, I found it tricky while pregnant to keep both my writing and my obsessive stroller research going.

How do you come up with ideas for your posts?

Writing is a self-perpetuating process for me - the more I blog, the more I come up with post ideas. Reading my favorite bloggers, as well as reading a whole heck of a lot in general, also helps.

When I get stuck for ideas, I try to force myself away from my laptop and do . . . ya know, real life stuff. It sounds obvious, but if your life isn't very interesting, you're not going to have interesting things to write - and, more importantly, maybe you'll want to get that boring life thing sorted out.

Do you receive compensation for advertisements or have sponsors?

I've received in-kind compensation for reviews & giveaways (meaning I receive the item that I'm reviewing or giving away). Although I've received payment, the words & opinions I use are always (and will be) my own. I'm considering doing the sponsors thing now, actually.

If so, how did you decide to do this?

Funny you should ask . . . I'm chewing on my feelings about this right now.

Like many an indie band (minus the coolness factor), I've worried about the sponsored stuff, so I haven't much pursued it; I don't want to lose my "voice" (barf, I know) or bore you Pretty readers with a bunch of uninteresting ads. I've also been alternatively bored or annoyed by ads disguised as posts or incessant marketing on what was once a personal blog.

Also, I never want to be the person who doesn't make time to respond to readers or to read the blogs of others - to the limited extent my day job with Mr. No Naps allows, that is. Until recently, I didn't see how I could juggle both.

The thing is, I've since watched a number of my blogging friends handle sponsorships without compromising their writing style or ethics. I have no issues with people making some income doing something they love, blogging included - in fact, it's a terrific way for stay- or work-at-home parents to add to their income, so long as it's done in a way that's transparent to readers and true to the "voice" of that blog.

So I'm open to it now - Mama does love her some fancy shoes, after all. I'm hopeful to someday work with Pretty-worthy brands I feel good about endorsing.

Do you have any examples of the camaraderie of blogging?
Oh, not really. Bloggers are just a bunch of self-absorbed narcissists. *pot, meet kettle*

All kidding aside - early on I was lucky enough to meet the very first blogger I ever read, and I've since grown close with a number of other ladies, meeting people both here in Austin and cities across the country. Too many to list, I'm thrilled to say (though click on my "Favorites" tab for a few of 'em). Never in a million years would I have thought the "social" benefit of social media would be so literal for me.

This is a long way of saying that my husband no longer says it's weird that I meet friends off the internet, which isn't nearly as sketchy as it sounds. Mostly.

What are your future plans for your blog?
A book deal and a movie of my life starring Reese Wither*spoon. Duh.

If we aren't limited to currently living actresses . . .

Actually, I just want to keep writing, and write better, and continue to meet nice people like you. Yes, you. The rest is gravy.

And if I could use all of this to plot my eventual PTA Board domination, so much the better.

Please share any other comments about your blogging experience.

It beats algebra. Or practicing law. And a lot of other stuff, really, but especially those two.

***
Any other blogging questions? Observations about how closely young me resembles Grace Kelly?

Through the Looking (Martini) Glass

Subtitle: "An Ode to Getting Old"

This weekend was a bit of a step back in time for the Anonymous Husband and I as we attended not only the wedding events of an old buddy of his, but re-visited some of our past - our bar hopping, trendy past, more specifically.

Once upon a time I considered myself a superficiality specialist in this area, keeping abreast (yes, I'm a 12-year-old boy, and typing "abreast" does make me giggle) of whatever the latest restaurant or bar was at which I needed to be seen. Naturally this was occurring in my twentysomething years when I should have been studying Torts or similar, but . . . um, at least I was specializing in something?

The AH & yours truly in pre-game mode, with apologies for the Instagram repeat photo. Also, it was ninety degrees in Austin this weekend - IN MARCH, mind you - hence the summery getups.

Like any new parent, I'm now less trendy and more "Thomas the Tank Engine" - happily so. That being said, the weekend was perhaps the first PK ("post kid" for any newbies here) time I can recall getting dolled up and heading with great, superficial purpose to where the music would be too loud, the drinks too expensive, and the people watching rife with potential (see-through cutout lace dresses circa "Like a Virgin", for splendid example.)

I loved it. Specifically, I loved getting a peek on my twentysomething life with the privileges of a thirtysomething Smug Married. I can now invisibly float through the bar crowds of the Too Chic if I choose, as I'm no longer in my unwrinkled, Prettier prime. I'm also no longer in need of unearthing cute boys or proving I'm more . . . ??? what was I concerned about back then? . . . than anyone else, or anything at all beyond the picket fenced reality I have now.

Nights out no longer hold that beacon of possibility, the thrill of the unknown - who will I meet? Will my so-called friends force me to dance? I have successfully unearthed the cute boy, and only the most indulgent of bouncers still ask me to do the show-your-ID-dance. I'm not competing for the Prettiest in the room anymore, but oh, is it ever fun to watch the ones still in the vanity hunt.

I beg you young Pretties out there - please be kind to us old folk occasionally showing up in your too trendy haunts. We aren't trying to pretend we're one of you - in fact, most days you couldn't pay us enough. It's just good to look back and remember, to be grateful for the then and the now. A $12 martini  - when did it become $12??? - seems like a small price to pay for perspective.