Thursday, August 9, 2012

The Bad Girls No Drama Stress Free Book Club, or Something

It's official - I'm a book club dropout. Again.

And a recent Junior League retiree.

Yes, yes - please take a moment to appreciate the extreme wildness of my rebellion, the very pushing-the-boundaries-of-polite-society of it all. Next thing you know I'll be replacing my monogrammed stationery with something not personalized - you know, something *truly* subversive.


But seriously, as Master P gets older and our playgroup goes its separate ways, as upcoming nursery school schedules dictate, I'm once again a lady in search of a lady group.

(Yes, yes - playgroups are supposed to be all about the children, but as anyone who has survived their own Hurricane Newborn can attest, the parental support thing - as in, "SWEET NEIMAN MARCUS I need to leave the house and speak with other grownups right this very minute!" is, um, also a motivating factor.)

Required reading for my future book not book quasi-sorority non-drama-filled Lady League of Something Awesome.

It's well-covered territory, how tricky this making friends business can be post-college - or is for this recovering introvert, at least. I've finally, fortunately found a great Austin bunch - hi, bunch! - but said bunch is changing, or moving, or on different school schedules come fall, etc.

As much as I love my time with my boys, I need a tribe. Bible study? Preschool playgroup? Different drama-free book club (insert oxymoron here)? A non-exclusive sorority with lots of wine and absolutely no cheerful singing? I'm officially on the hunt . . .

What do you do for your organized girl time? (Or, to the two men accidentally reading this, your boy time - also, sorry about all the ladybits chat.) Help a thirty-something out, pretty please . . .

20 comments:

TUWABVB said...

M - I have a great idea - we should start a club....and it would be a totally unique club (we could do books but I have a cool idea). We need to chat more about this at lunch - remind me!!

Anonymous said...

Tell us when you find it!!! The best I have right now is a twice a week pilates class where I like the other ladies, but we haven't moved on to wine outings yet.

Rachelle said...

I'll be sticking around! And if you and TUWABVB come up with something fun and don't mind a tagger-on, I'll be happy to join a fun lady-group!

Rachel said...

I LOVE no drama book clubs. Cause lets face it, I could use an excuse to sit around, chat and drink wine :) We do this even at your yoga book club (and I never read the books!).

Cecily said...

I have the same problem, but as a working mom friends get together on weekdays which stinks for me. I am looking for a group, but my darn work gets in the way!! Any time you want to meet up just let me know.

Erin said...

Do you have enough low/no drama friends to just start a club? That's what I did! Started a book club that was invite only...wine mandatory...books optional :) It's the one night of the month my friends and I flee our houses to laugh till we cry and cry till we laugh!

Amy @ Forever 29 said...

Is it bad that when I manage to get out of the house I usually just want to go shopping or see a movie by myself? Most of the ladies in my circle don't have a group like this because it's just so hard to get schedules to magically align more than twice a year. But maybe I should make more of an effort to schedule some girl time.

Sylvie said...

While standing around with some mothers at the birthday party of a 6 year old, i brought up the fact that I'd like to learn to play bridge. Well, 4 or 5 other mothers expressed real interest/excitement, too. Fast forward 2 years and we are still meeting one afternoon a month for a couple of hours to "practice playing" together. There's no real "homework" involved; but, there is always food and drink at the host mom's house. And you get to wear cute clothes while learning something unchild-related. You really only need 3 to play. 4 is ideal. We have played with one table of 4 whilst the others chat and observe. It's very casual and invitation only. Also, Bridge is fun and I have a super cute bridge set. I like being a member of a Bridge Club.

As another recovering introvert and former book club member, I have to recommend "Introvert Power" by Laurie Helgoe, PhD. if you haven't already read it. She totally gets the difference between being shy vs. simply being introverted. This is not a how-to or self-improvement book. It's just full of intelligence. A really excellent read ... but probably not for a Book Club.

Brittney said...

I totally know how you feel. I'm still living in a relatively new city + 8 week old baby = mama needs some girl time! I actually started to look on meetup.com (kind of random, I know!) but it has all different kinds of local "mommy groups". It's nice because it's grouped by interest and time available. I'll let you know how it works out!

Also- when does the evite for the wine sorority go out? :)

Belle on Heels said...

This will be long-winded and rambling, so brace yourself:

This is something I've stuggled with since post-college. Prior to moving to the town where we currently reside, I had a group of girl "friends" who met every Monday night to watch The Bachelor/ette/Pad, drink wine, eat unhealthily, and chat. They were all perfectly lovely and I enjoyed the estrogen-escape, but I was never FRIENDS with any of them. We were never more than very friendly acquaintances. Which was hard on me, because within this gal group, there were some pairs or trios of EXTREMELY close gals and I could never quite break in. We just didn't have enough in common. And that was really hard.

But then we moved here, and I don't even have that outlet. I have made 2 female friends here. One I think may turn out to be a good friend, but we both work absolutely insane schedules, so it's hard to hang out. The other I love spending time with, but I think now that we're no longer colleagues, we may not have as much in common as I thought.

One of my new colleagues and I were talking about this yesterday, and I had to laugh, because she's so right. We were talking about taking our dogs to the dog park and meeting other couples and then doing the whole, "Do you think they liked us? Do you think we'll see them again?" dance. Just like dating. And it totally applies to trying to find female friends as an adult. And I was secretly hoping that I was on my prettiest and wittiest because I was totally sizing her up and thinking SHE could be a new gal pal. We'll see.

So all of this was basically to say, I totally get it. Non-Princess Shinylocks fangirls need not apply.

Allison said...

Dude, me too!. Let me just whine for a second anyhow with my sad little story.
I had today off from work to stay home and play with my barnacle, err, toddler boy. We went to Gymboree for the first time this morning. My neighbor was there with all of her friends. She practically pretended not to know who I was because I wasn't a part of the same SAHM club with the same Gymboree schedule. I felt so out of the loop and "different." I think there is always that need for more friends, but there will never be. Unless of course I move back into a dorm and I don't foresee that happening anytime soon!

The Preppy Princess said...

Boy, do I ever hear this one. And I am worthless in offering anything for the Pretty Suggestion Box, I've nothing to add other than the bridge club sounded cool, and I bet you and TUWABVB come up with something! (Belle on Heels is brilliant in noting that sometimes you need something that only includes Princess Shinylocks fangirls!)

Sending you a smile,
tp

Melissa said...

Funny, I just read this article today (via Twitter) http://thegrindstone.com/work-life-balance/we-make-our-best-friends-at-work-by-default-678/#ixzz23A3XRNL5

I know, it doesn't help you out....

Sarah said...

I am seriously thinking of quitting JL...

Most of my mommy friends are from Stroller Strides, which I understand isn't for everyone. Their kids are older than mine, so I'm wondering how long we can keep it up. I've met a few moms that I wouldn't mind drinking with at My Gym (Little Gym-esque) but it's definitely hard.

PS- I'm blogging again so come visit me!

Jessie said...

So, you know I have been reading your blog and finally felt the need to comment. I am so into the idea of a book club - with the caveat that the books would have to be of the Hunger Games/Shades of Grey nature, meaning no real literature, and wine mandatory at each meeting. Let me know if you decide you want to do something like this, I am completely in.

Miss A said...

Totally wish I lived in your city :( Love the blog and hope you find a great group of ladies. I know that they're out there!

Miss A said...

Totally wish I lived in your city :( Love the blog and hope you find a great group of ladies. I know that they're out there!

the Frugal Ecologist said...

Not a mama, but the only time I get all my gal friends together is for our semi-monthly clothing swap. Lots of wine, nibbles, and trying on clothes (occasionally hilarious). And we box up what's left at the end and donate.

Indy said...

We started a coffee club. We meet every Friday for about an hour. This group has grown into a party club where we get together with husbands for drinks and food. We also started going on trips together. We barely knew each other when we started.

Eat. Live. Laugh. and sometimes shop! said...

For years I had a great pilates group. We would exercise and then go to coffee while our kids were in mother's day out. We've since disbanded. I'm still in my book club, but only because I secretly love the drama and a few of the ladies bring really good wine. Now that my kids are school age the PTA moms rule my world. Seriously. And believe me, MOST of them do not have personalized stationary. Or rather, they may not even {gasp} own proper stationary at all!!

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