It has been years since I've opened up the floor here for you readers - all three of you - to ask me questions. Because of course you sit around all day asking nothing but, "I wonder what Melissa thinks about ___?"
So, ask away - anything you would like to see me post about? Any questions you've simply been dying - DYING! - to ask? Today is your day to put it in the comments.
If you're wondering what form this should take, here are some sample questions:
Question: "Have you always been so shallow / self-absorbed / awful / dorky?"
Question: "What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?"
Answer: "Tough to pick just one, but regaling a room full of nuns, my boss, and in-laws with what a good time the AH is in the sack springs to mind."*
(*Note to dearly departed Grandmother: no, I did not just admit to ever having had s-e-x. Nevermind the husband and child thing. The thought never crossed my mind.)
Question: "Why isn't Master P potty trained yet?"
Answer: "I'm certain he will be once you're through teaching him - here!" *hands over child*
You there, grumbling in the back about how this is a total cop-out and a waste of a post - yes. I mean, what sort of blogger asks *you* to provide the material? Not a good one, of course. Thank you for noticing, and bless your heart.
In my defense - I've got a toddler to watch, a terrific book to read, and better things coming your way . . . tomorrow? Hopefully?
Until then, have at it in the comments. Tips for newborns? Talking you out of law school plans? Outfit ideas? I'm all yours - that is, unless you're unkind, in which case I remind you of this blog's enthusiastic censorship policy, which is on par with your average third world dictatorship. Thank you for understanding.