Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Momversation, or How to Keep Your Relationships & Your Toddler Alive

**For any Smug Mummies interested in those gorgeous new Modalu "Pippa" bags, I've updated my recent post per Modalu's response to your handle / shoulder-strap questions.***

I tried to explain it as I was sprinting across the playground for the billionth time (approximately) this morning . . .

an object set in motion stays in motion - until I force it to nap, that is (mildly relevant sidebar: I swear that collar popped itself up - have I somehow spawned a child even preppier than me?)

Our Smug Newlywed / child-free relatives, who had kindly met us at one of those hybrid restaurant-slash-playground places for lunch, looked on with a little kindly amusement and a lot of "praise the Lord and pass the birth control" fear as I shouted my theory - while removing Master P from the too-high, big-kid monkey bars, of course.

It's the Momversation. You know those half conversations you sorta have with adults as you simultaneously attempt to have grown-up chat and keep your - ok, my - adventurous little child alive? I figure for every one toddler class or playground outing Master P and I attend, it takes at least two more outings with the same adult to actually finish whatever line of thought we were discussing.

Sometimes the Momversation continues during the blessed nap hour - assuming said nap happens - via email or Facebook chat, though many of us who stay at home need that time to run around the house cleaning and attending to other such unpleasantness (which is of course code for "taking a breather already sweetbejeesus"). 

It isn't that I want to be one of those interfering American "helicopter" parents. I'm still trying to give the wee CEO some "Bebe" space to explore while we're out, within the bounds of safety and courtesy to other people. Thing is, I have these dueling needs both to speak with other adults and to keep my child, um, living. A tricky balancing act, that one.

I hope this doesn't sound like a gripe - rather, it's just one of the many bits of This New Normal to which I'm slowly adjusting. If I can't return your phone call right away, or if it takes us three visits to have a coherent conversation, please bear with me & the Momversation. I like our relationship and my child both - let's keep both amongst the living, shall we?

Can I get a Smug Mummy amen? Failing that, want to watch my wiggly wildebeast for five minutes while I finish that conversation I started four days ago?

10 comments:

Danielle said...

Amen, indeed! I haven't had a coherent, mindful discussion with child present in say, oh, nearly 5 years! I am getting better at tuning out the whining and yelling but I can't seem to make my brain ignore it enough to carry on an adult conversation. I'm sure one day when our children have locked themselves in their respective bedrooms, we'll have more than enough time for idle chatter and will likely be chatting about what is going on behind closed doors. Alas, the life of a parent!

Mrs. Type A said...

I know this must be really hard. My husband and I pleaded with his brother and sister-in-law to actually come out and get a beer with us recently so that we could have an actual conversation with them. We definitely haven't been able to have one since their kids were born....ever... and the oldest one is almost five.

Lisa @ Trapped In North Jersey said...

I haven't had a phone conversation in seven years. My sister actually refuses to talk to me if I call her--"call me after the kids are in bed" she says.

Happiness Is... said...

oh my gosh this is SO funny - when I walk with a friend, we literally have to stop and start the conversation 76364 times, especially since her son will interrupt us with questions or wants (mine can't talk yet - ha!)

This is so true and funny!

Whitney said...

Amen!! It's gotten so bad that the DH and I struggle with finishing our sentences even after our little girl has gone to bed. We've forgotten how to function like normal people, perhaps?

meganmcfee said...

Yes...the Momversation is a constant in my life. I have a 2-year old and a 3-year old and it is so. stressful. When we attend parties and picnics, I don't think we ever sit down or have a conversation with an adult that is longer than two sentences. It is really frustrating for me and I feel like I'm constantly pulled in two directions. I am glad you posted about Momversations...nice to know it's not just me.

Carly Anne said...

I've always assumed this will be my life when the kiddo is born and talking. Or at least, climbing on stuff.

Of course, then I see close friends of ours, who have either unlocked the secret to parenting, or who have been blessed by the toddler gods with the quietest, most respectful little people in existence... We totally have full conversations with their parents while they silently - and safely - play on the floor.

My kid isn't even born yet and I already feel inferior.

Elle said...

AMEN! Sooo true! Thing that worries me is that sometimes I forget what I'm talking about mid conversation even when the kiddies are not around. My brain is still multi-tasking!

Amy @ Forever 29 said...

Oh how you have once again perfectly captured a mom-phenomenon. It was so difficult for me because once I was starting to get a break from Nate then Cole was on the move. Still hoping to get an upgrade to (mostly) trophy-wife status once the boys are in school and will have all kinds of time to brunch and lunch at playground free restaurants.

Sarah said...

The worst is when you are trying to talk to someone without kids and they get seemingly offended when you have to interrupt their oh-so-important thought to, I don't know, grab your kid out of oncoming traffic for example.

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