Friday, April 13, 2012

The Undomestic Goddess Confesses: Social Media Shaming

You know that feeling you have when you read a blog post or see a Pin and think to yourself ashamedly, "Ugh, if only I was that creative!" or "If I was really a good mom, I'd throw Martha Stewart-inspired birthday parties that looked like that?" 

This is assigned reading for all of us who have felt that shame, that sneaking suspicion that if we were really a decent friend / girlfriend / wife / mother / all of the above, we'd be waltzing through life with glue gun in one hand and the secret to happiness in the other.

*waits patiently for you to complete homework*

Of course, we're all about the Pretty here - and the inappropriate use of the royal "We", of course. I've even had the odd crafty moment or two myself. That being said, I wonder if all of this online admiring isn't creating a phantom sense of shame when we already have enough Friend / Wife / Mama Guilt to go around? After all, who are we trying to impress - our loved ones, or the internet?

That magnet board to Master P's right comprises one of my rare - as in, endangered species never spotted in wild rare - moments of craftitude.

Show of hands - who has a child who has protested his/her birthday party because it wasn't Pinterest- worthy? Had dinner guests who promptly left your house when they discovered you hadn't lovingly whipped up a seven-course, homemade, organic, gluten-free fun-free meal? A husband who left you because you haven't organized your accessories in picture perfect ROYGBIV order?

Me neither.

This isn't meant to be snarky at those of you for whom Pretty party planning & such are a joy, not one bit. Not not not, you can't make me, nanny nanny boo boo! When I'm not busy feeling inferior to your creative prowess, I'm inspired by it, pinky swear. It's wonderful that you whip up gorgeous meals, or interior design, or however it is you get creative, and occasionally I enjoy following your crafty lead.

It's just that I want to encourage the rest of us, the ones who aren't the creative whizzes lighting up Pinterest or Facebook, to take it easy on ourselves. Maybe we're good at something else - overpacking and racking up student loans, in my case - that isn't so flashily internet-worthy. Maybe we're taking the time we'd spend fussing over details only we or the Interwebs would notice and devoting those to family or another hobby that nourishes us. Maybe we all are contributing in our own ways.

Put a Pin in *that*, why don't you?


Belle on Heels said...

I was raised by a mother who used to bribe other moms to do her crafts for her when she was a part of a preschool mom play group. They all loved to do crafts. My mom loved to drink wine. She said glue guns made her break out in stress hives. And I don't remember being disappointed in any of my birthday parties :)

Jessica said...

My mom loves wine too :-)

So do I....when not pregnant of course.

I'm like you, usually feeling inferior. Occasionally feeling inspired. But my crafting is typically all half done and shoved in a unorganized cabinet, that i typically just close the door on until I'm inspired to half start my next project.

Laughed a lot reading this today.

Thanks for the post

Danielle said...

I just started writing a similar post. You are not alone! Of course I appreciate the humorous side of your take (:

Cari Leigh said...

You rock. Enough said :)

LPC said...

Pick your battles. I cooked well, and could wield a glue gun like crazy, but couldn't sew to save my life. Besides, crafts for kids are most fun when the result looks horrible:).

The Preppy Princess said...

Love the post *and* the comments! I have met 'competitive crafters,' and been stunned at what can only be termed an obsession, talk about taking the fun out of something! Posted by one whose home is filled with UFO's (Unfinished objects.)

Sending you a that darling boy a smile!

Amy @ Forever 29 said...

But how would women have relationships if we weren't trying to outdo each other? Kidding. I've had my own moments to step back and look at this...accepting that I'm not a bad mother if my boys don't have a 200 page photobook for every year of their life (at this point they'll be lucky to leave the nest with a half completed baby book) and understanding what priorities my husband has regarding how things operate at home (laundry ranks above home-cooked meals, etc.)

I think you have tons to contribute...writing and communicating trumps crafting in my book any day.

Perfectly Imperfect said...


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