Smug-Worthy Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Men

Subtitle: "I Meant to Post This Earlier, but Then I Got a Flat Tire. And Then the Car Battery Died. No, Really. All Because I Went to the Craft Store (!) and Was on My Way Home to Test Drive a Complicated Recipe. This is What I Get for Trying to Be a Suzy Homemaker Type. Lesson learned, Universe. Lesson Learned."

Sub-subtitle: "I Like Long Titles"

See Also This Important, Special Note: None of the items mentioned below are in any way paid or solicited placements, blah blah blah . . . 

***

Not to get all cliched about it, but we women don't actually need to buy our men anything for Valentine's Day - they just want one thing, after all . . .

. . . our undying love.

(What, you thought I was going to say s-e-x? Not a chance - I have a prudish pretense to keep up here at the Pretty. Besides, I couldn't figure out how to import "sex" into Polyvore.)

For those of us not inclined to give just the, er, standard gift, finding the right gift for our respective men can be a bit of a problem. If only they were as easy as we women . . . for example, this Smug Married is delighted with any gift falling within the Holy Trinity - jewelry, spa gift cards, and more jewelry - though I'd happily accept anything my favorite blogging Smug Newlywed, Belle on Heels, assembled here. Hint, hint.

Here are the best, Smug-worthy gifts for the boys, from budget to major bacon:

(Clockwise from Upper Left):

• Bacon Wrapping Paper - show me a man who doesn't love something wrapped in bacon, and I'll show you . . . um, not the Anonymous Husband.
• Bacon Wrapped Steak - see above
• Rugby Shirt - model not included, unfortch
• Bose Noise-Cancelling Headphones - I stole this gift idea from the divine Freckled Citizen a few years back; my travelin' husband type was mighty impressed.
• "Mad Men" Season 4 DVDs - nothing says "romance" like "cheating bastards in killer suits"
• Beer Making Kit - for the DIY drunkard
• Cigar Boxed Set / Grooming Kit - as if cigars didn't stink enough, now your man can smell like them 24/7
• Mustache Tumblers - the closest the AH will ever get to an authorized 'stache
• Filson Padded Laptop Bag - (thanks, @whitericebryce, for the rec)
• Old Tom Foolery Cards - for the smartass sweetheart

Whaddaya think? You just want me to do a giveaway with the bacon wrapping paper, don't you?