Monday, January 30, 2012

The Husband Wish List Revisited

A huge, smoochy thank you for those of you who linked up & commented on my decision to be a stay-at-home-mom extravaganza! I'd double check those links if I were you; we have a few new link-ups from the weekend, all Pretty fabulous. Mwah.

If you're still interested in posting about this but haven't had the time yet, or you've already posted about my *hugely original and never been done before in the history of the Interwebs* subject here, please go ahead and link-up at your convenience - I'll leave it live through this Friday, Feb. 3rd.

And now, for something not at all different . . .

***

Of all the mistakes you can make as a blogger, checking the tangled Google search paths that lead readers to your site - and by "tangled", of course I mean "pervy" - may be the biggest one.

Nevertheless, ever on the quest to provide you with deeply relevant and terribly meaningful content - stop laughing - I went diving into those search engine terms this weekend and was amazed. No small number of you are getting here via this post, in which I revealed my not-at-all embarrassing and immature (ahem) high school-era list of traits I wanted in a husband.

Not to take the hormonal ramblings of this high school dreamer too (at all) seriously, but it got me thinking about whether we can ever really define what our respective ideal partners look like. I grappled with coming up with a new list here. Re-reading that post from 2 years ago, it seems that a while back I may have advised that plan of action.

And yet . . . yet . . . now that I'm a veteran of FIVE WHOLE YEARS of Smug Marriedness, therefore clearly an expert on the institution, I'd throw that list out the window. If only it were as easy as a list. You have no idea how much this Type A Minus wishes there was a tidy checklist involved. Thing is, knowing what you think you want in a partner is essential, but being open to the reality of messy, actual other people is a big part - the part - too.

If I could talk to list-writing High School Melissa, I'd tell her (me?) that instead of focusing on what I wanted in someone else, I should concentrate on - wait for the sunshine-and-rainbows "Oprah" trite moment here - going about the business of making myself even more fabulous - and looking into highlights for this (repeat after me, class) "completely natural blonde hair", not necessarily in that order.

You know what you want in a spouse-type already, pinky swear. It's that person who makes you better than yourself. Not just that, but who makes you want to be better. He or she won't look or act exactly how you or your Type A lists thought he/she would, but isn't that how life usually goes?

The list-worthy Anonymous Husband on our wedding day (Photo Credit: Winfield Little Photography)
I leave you with this, random wanderers of the Internets (welcome!) and regular readers alike - if you have to look up Loverboy's traits to see if he makes the Husband List, he probably doesn't. By all means, do a Google search to ensure he hasn't any relevant prison stays (or irrelevant prison stays, come to think) - then throw out those lists. You'll know the one. Pinky swear.

2 comments:

Perfectly Imperfect said...

If I had made a list (which I didn't but oddly enough every guy I ever dated was too much alike), Mr. P would have never made the cut. He was so different from anything I thought I wanted. Now? Well look at us (look on a good day of course!). Funny how things work out.

Dancing Branflake said...

I just discovered your blog and fell in love. I absolutely love the subcaption on your header. Hilarious and sooo me! (Except I'm not blond).

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