Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Undomestic Goddess Confesses: Hosting Christmas Ed.

An irregular series in which I air my dirty domestic laundry - sometimes literally - in the hopes of .  . . of . . . I'm not exactly sure what, but it's likely one of two things: (a) publicly shaming myself into doing better wife- and mom-wise; or (b) dragging y'all down with me into the anti-Martha morass.

Because this will never be the blog you read only to feel ashamed that you have yet again failed to painstakingly hand-craft a papier-mache montage of the birth of Baby Jesus using organic free-range cage-free chicken or whatever.


It came upon a midnight clear - or around that hour last night, in my case, when I realized that part of hosting my very first Christmas ever might involve feeding those we're hosting.

I know, right? Believe me, I was surprised too. And so, behold tonight's Pretty homework, which looms instead of the Christmas shopping for myself I'd been anticipating:

Let us pretend I won't procrastinate on this 'til December 23rd. Thank you for your cooperation.
Oh holy Hellish night, whose idea was hosting Christmas again? Mine, you say? 

Don't remind me - unless you have ideas for side dishes to match a festive beef brisket, our Christmas day main course (as ordered/delivered by someone else, thank Santa), that is? 

Would I jeopardize my Martha merit badge if I just ordered the food from my local overpriced fancy grocer, re-plated it, and called it mine? I won't tell if you don't, Scout's honor . . . will report back with the hopefully edible results either way.

My taste-tester-in-chief, who I'm hoping will help me with this despite the mandatory Christmas sweater.


Natalie said...

I'm all for getting food from your local fancy grocer.We have the Fresh Market here. Even Ina Garten gets stuff from the grocer sometimes!

Jessica said...

Do what you gotta do! I have never tried any myself but I find the recipes in the parenting magazines to appear surprisingly approachable. And the photos they take of their food just look spectacular.

Yep, that's my contribution. Obviously I'm a pro at this type of stuff.

Elz said...

It doesn't really "go" with brisket, but I roll this tamale recipe out every chance I get. A sure-fire, never fail, delicious side!

BeeBeeZfa said...

This is pretty much my sentiment about offering to host Christmas this year. Is cooking really necessary? What was I thinking?

ms. mindless said...

Order as much as you want from the fancy grocer. Make one or two tasty but simple dishes and then order the rest. When you plate it all, no one will notice the difference. Now, get back to buying presents for yourself and stop stressing!

Carly Anne said...

Fancy grocery shop it - all the way. And then get a pie scented candle...

TUWABVB said...

I got this! I went through this EXACT problem last year (complicated by the fact we had a Christmas Eve Dinner, a Christmas day brunch, a Christmas Day dinner and a day after Christmas lunch and dinner when the in-laws arrived).

Seriously, I have easy side dishes and a great beef dish that I served the next day as tiny slider sandwiches that everyone loved. Drop me an email or text if you need anything.

That being said - I have a few words for you (both from The Pioneer Woman:

Let me know whatever you need - I'm here to help.

Perfectly Imperfect said...

My hats off to you woman. I almost broke out in hives for you at the thought of hosting Christmas. However, I'm pretty sure you've got this in the bag.

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