Friday, November 11, 2011

A Baby Changed My Marriage : : Guest Post by Haute Mommy

I normally blog about life with my baby girl at Haute Mommy, and I was thrilled to get my name on the list of Invisible Internet Besties to keep the Pretty Kingdom running while Pretty and the AH are away.  Since my Baby Girl is not yet six months old, I still have a fair amount of not-so-pretty days, but I generally feel that I'm getting the hang of things and getting back into tip-top-MILF shape as quickly as I can.  

Having just celebrated five years of Smug Marital Bliss myself, I first thought of offering up some looks at my own Smug Married Life.  Then reality hit, and I realized how much has changed for this Smug Couple in the past five months.  NO, not those types of changes, Pearl-Clutching Grandmother... but the changes I never, ever expected to happen. 

My own personal Anonymous Husband (although he's not so Anonymous) and I spent nearly nine years together before Baby Girl arrived.  We had our Smug Coupleness down to a tee.  There wasn't a more adoring, doting husband in town.  And my face still lit up every time he walked into the room.  No joke.  It was so make-you-gag perfect that other people commented on it now and then.  It simply wasn't possible for me to be any more in love with my own AH.

Then the baby came along.  And the impossible happened...I fell even more in love with my husband.  Where my face used to light up when he came near, now I burst into tears when watching him hold our daughter's tiny hand and stroke her little foot while telling her "Mommy's gonna hold you soon" when she was getting checked by the nurses after she was born.  I get tears in my eyes and have to walk away quickly when I pass by her room at bedtime and hear him singing Jesus Loves Me to her at bedtime.  My heart swells with pride and adoration when I think of how hard he works at his AH-like career every day only to come home and help me with bath time.

On the flip side, and you knew there would be one, I've never had such high levels of frustration with my own AH as during those first months of new parenthood.  There was a point at around the three month mark when I swore I was going to poke his eyes out with my (at that point in time, let's face it, not-so-perfectly) manicured fingers if he asked me what to do just one more time.  As in: "She's crying.  Is she hungry? Should I feed her?" or "She tooted.  Does that mean she's dirty? Should I change her?" or "She's rubbing her eyes.  I think she's tired.  Should I put her to bed?"  ACK!  Seriously?  I'm just as new at this as you are!

A very wise friend once told me to never criticize my AH, just let him find his own way and encourage him to help out as much as possible.  While I can't say I never yelled, "OMG just change the freakin' diaper already and let me take a nap!" (nope, not once did I ever yell that), we have managed to make it almost six months with nary a manicured finger in his eye.

I think it's worked quite well.  These days I rarely get frustrated at him, he helps out more than the average bear (or at least more than some other daddies I've heard about), and I'm still more Smugly in love than ever before.

All this babbling just to say...a baby does change things for any Smug Couple.  Some things are better, some are a bit more rough than expected.  But rest assured, the rough parts do fade away in practically no time at all, then you're stuck Smugger Than Ever, making everyone sick, with all of the big smiles and love-filled eyes that happen automatically whenever your AH walks into the room.

1 comment:

Lauren said...'s like they need to run everything by us first! Cause we automatically know what the heck we're doing!

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