Without a second thought or even a pause for dramatic irony, the AH opined, "Why don't you just sew him a costume? That's what my mom did for us every year." (emphasis added: mine, but I swear it was implied)
(cue dramatic spooky movie organ music)
Torn between hilarity and horror, I went with both, "HAHAHA I knew I shouldn't have cut that Home Ec class in law school. HAHAHA clearly I need to become your mother" (sidebar: I'm one of the lucky few with a tremendous mother-in-law - and a sewing one too, apparently - so this wasn't entirely facetious.) "Let me just whip out my sewing machine in all my free time when I'm not busy keeping your son alive and HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA."
(Blank stare from AH, who didn't know whether to laugh or hunker up in defensive fetal position)
"Or I could just keep looking for a costume - to purchase, I should add, not to lovingly sew - and save the money I'd spend on a sewing machine - HAAAAAA - for his college fund."
"Um, yes, let's go with that. Can we please talk about our feelings or anything else now?"
This isn't at all meant to be a ding on you crafty types, by the way. My inner Type A Minus, who secretly wishes I was more Martha Stewart-y, is jealous of those of you who whip up Halloween costumes and festive seasonal wreaths in your spare time. Part of me wonders whether there's something missing from my stay-at-home-mom DNA that I don't much enjoy those homemaker-y activities.
It's just that my "Minus" always wins out in the end, whispering in my ear that time crafting would be better spent catching up on the "Real Housewives" - the cast of which can be found, I should add, near many a plastic surgeon's office but nary a sewing machine. I'll have to settle for being the sort of stay-at-home mom who occasionally bakes cookies and otherwise tries her damndest by being there for every rehearsal or practice, spying on the neighbors, and other non-crafty SAHM essentials.
|Behold our $10 consignment sale costume - any guesses how long that hat lasted?|
|A lover and a fighter.|
Oh, and uh, happy Halloween! Anyone else have a scary husband-wanting-you-to-be-mom story of hilariterror to share?