Be not afraid, ye who aren't from Texas. This is merely a sign that I've split town in search of a good tailgate and God's Chosen Corndogs. Please send any fan mail during my absence by way of the deep fried pineapple upside-down cake stand*.
*(Yes, really) (I know, right?) (Think they hand out Spanx along with things like deep fried cake?) (Parentheses)