Wednesday, October 26, 2011

A Boy Mother Moment

I fear skinny jeans and a Jessica Simpson pregnancy - or worse, those two unfortunates together - but I no longer fear being a mother to a boy. I confess this girly girl wondered before Master P was born - also yesterday - whether there was enough caffeine in the world for me to keep up with a whirlwind little boy & the disasters that tend to befall them - or him, more precisely. 

The wonder - everything is FASCINATING right now - nicely counterbalances the penchant for death-defying stunts.

Thing is, every toddler boy terror I've been warned about, be it by those infernal baby books or you darling readers, has already come to pass. Master P is absolutely fine now but has, in chronological order:

- taken a swan dive off of our changing table, couch, and patio chairs;
- made his 1st ER appearance thanks to a head bonk at the neighborhood splashpad; and, as of last night,
- singed his digits on a hot oven door I'd opened while making dinner.

Boy Universe, you can't scare me anymore. You've thrown the damn baby book at me - and Master P has emerged unscathed, while I'm pretending to be ok while awaiting arrival of the World's Worst Mother Award. So nanny nanny boo boo to you - and, if you please, perhaps no more actual boo boos for the rest of this week, nor J. Simp. maternity lines*. Pretty please?
*I begrudgingly admit, however, that the girl makes a decent budget shoe; I may own a pair or two.




8 comments:

The Mrs. said...

Oh lord this has NOTHING to do with boys. Landon was a mellow breeze. Coco is a trained stunt woman. Swear.

undomestic chica said...

I'm so glad mine don't crawl yet. I'm not sure I can handle two boys at once.

Mrs. Type A said...

ha my (extremely hyper) nephew just went to the ER two weekends ago after falling off the swings and getting a concussion. I'm not going to lie, it terrifies me!

emcr1229 said...

Its not just the boys - My Jennifer had 14 stitches after running, falling, and hitting her head into a drawer.

While waiting in the ER she had to explore all the beds and try to touch everything

Amy @ Forever 29 said...

Oh these boys. I'm shocked I haven't been to the ER yet. BB ate some major pavement last night but was surprisingly unscratched. I have no idea how he does it.

Perfectly Imperfect said...

we haven't been to the ER yet, but BG thinks she's indestructible. I don't get it. Do they not think?!?!

Cherry Blossoms said...

Hi Melissa,
I came across your blog and I must say that it is just SUPER cute! Your little boy is adorable too! I have an (almost) 10 month old and he is into everything! My daughter was never interested in pulling cords, dumping out the contents of my diaper bag, etc. What is it with these boys? Ha! Anyway I just wanted to say keep up the great work with your blog!
Cheers,
Kiley
Cherry Blossoms {The Blog}

Mimi said...

awww, your baby boy is so adorable! i can only imagine how tiring it must be to run after little kids, most especially boys. but i guess their cuteness makes up for it? ;)

<3, Mimi
http://whatmimiwrites.blogspot.com/

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