Monday, October 17, 2011

The BFF Label

Remember once upon a time when establishing your Best Friend Forever was an important statement to the world, even more so than which New Kid on the Block you had a crush on (for the record, it was Joey) (yes, I'm old) (parentheses)? There was to be one best friend, and you would remain such for the rest of your lives. If there was a friendship bracelet or one of those matching half-heart necklaces involved, your BFF-iness was even more official.

Of course, as we grow older the best friend thing gets more complicated; we go off to new schools, can't believe we ever listened to NKOTB, and gravitate towards new friends, even while often remaining just as fond of the old ones. Our matching Trapper Keepers and friendship bracelets of those original BFF days seem a bit silly as we wistfully explain old photos to our new closest friends, "Oh, that's just me & my junior high best friend." Some friendships, though the feeling is still there, now come with a qualifier.

So it was this weekend when I attended the hippie chic wedding of my dear "high school best friend", for lack of a better phrase. In fact, it's the friend I mentioned when getting my digital panties in a wad here; though I'm still iffy on the social media milestone announcements, I admit I needed to un-wad and put this friendship in perspective. I had a blast meeting her new group of close friends*, and when we were asked how we knew one another, the "high school best friend" label felt right - as much as those small talk explanations ever do. The love is still there, and we fell back into conversation as if we were once again conspiring during Honors English. It's just that the labels have moved on - as have our Trapper Keepers.

*Though I'll think twice before wearing the leopard Revas around the trustafarian crowd again; I may have raised a pierced brow or three.


I forgot to get the bride's permission to post wedding photos, so instead please enjoy nature as it is meant to be seen - via the safety of a computer monitor. (But seriously, Taos is stupidly gorgeous like this) (Pinky swear).


My inner Ice Queen hates admitting this, but - I left the wedding with a full heart, having reconnected with an old friend while looking forward to getting back to my current life, new BFFs included. Flying home late on a Sunday night to this Smug Mummy job I love was icing on the, well, wedding cake.

Have your closest friends remained the same throughout your life? Or do you find yourself more with a shifting crowd like I have, though the fondness for them all remains?

9 comments:

Danielle said...

My husband, who had the same BFF for 200 years, likes to make fun of the fact that I had a different BFF nearly every year of grade school. Classes changed, thus did the circle of friends I was around daily. I still refer to them as my 1st grade best friend, my 8th grade best friend, etc. There's definitely a distance between us all now but the memories will always be there.

AEOT said...

My HS BF definitely has a qualifier, though we still get along beautifully when we are together. She would qualify me in the same way. My two "up north" BFFs are truly that. I've known them forever (since 3 and 11), they were matrons of honor in my wedding, and I tell them everything (we talk at least weekly). I'm lucky that we can see each other multiple times a year and keep the friendships strong. It is much, much harder to remain super close with people at a constant distance.

Natalie said...

I use HS BFF, Chicago BFF, gay BFF...It is work to keep it up but it's like no time has passed when we meet again!

cMe said...

I'm definitely a shifting crowd BFFriender.

Jen said...

I had a different best friend every year growing up. Some I still see when visiting home and others I haven't talked to in years. Now I don't have just one or two BFFs, I have dozens! Because at some point most of my friends became BEST friends. :) Whether it's a recent friendship from work or a roommate from college, the word "friend" just doesn't do them all justice. They are special pieces of my life for various reasons and the closest I can come to describing what they mean to me is to call them my bests! :)

Amy @ Forever 29 said...

1. Jordan > Joey. Just sayin'

2. My HS BFF sitch is quite odd because it is a group of 4 guys (including my husband, extra weird, right?) We did everything together in HS and a lot of college too. I'm trying to be better about keeping in touch, but obv with guys they just pick up where you left off.

Now my college BFF is adopted family now. Couldn't live without that girl. Still was weird to establish "BFF" status, but seeing that our friendship has lasted as a long distance relationship over the last 7 years (good gracious I'm old) I'm thinking we're pretty committed.

Erin said...

It's funny how friendships evolve, isn't it? What's crazy to me is somehow after high school my best friend and I have some how remained "best friends." Even though she now lives in another country! I never thought the few people who I consider BFFs would be who they are. When times get tough, it's been interesting to see who stuck by me and who dropped me like a hot potato!

Glad you left the weekend feeling good about you and your once BFF. There's really nothing worse than a friendship left with bad feelings!

Maggie said...

I love this post. I'm in the middle of an awkward transition phase with a former BFF myself... and I wish she could read this too. SIGH.

Perfectly Imperfect said...

Ahh the #1 bff! Are we the only dorks that classified it like that?? If I am, don't tell me ;)

My friend-base (ha) has changed a lot over time. I still have my bff from elementary school and middle school though and I still count them as my best friends. Also my college bff and post school bff. I guess I just keep adding them but I'm thankful for my long term friendships.

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