Newton's Fifth Law of Physics specifies that there will be a designated location in any household, no matter how tidy, wherein all items the owner knoweth not what to do with shall be concealed.
Or something like that. Whether it be due to physics or a certain late 90s sitcom, I'm living proof of my theory that everyone has a secret spot in their home for stuffing, well, out-of-rotation stuff. I try to be tidy, am allergic to clutter, and somewhat OCD about my personal closet space, yet my "Monica Closet" in the guest room remains:
The overflowing contents include my wedding dress - as preserved for the Imaginary Future Daughter, who will surely want to wear it - as well as ancient riding trophies, posters I'm hoping the Anonymous Husband will forget we own so they can "disappear", a few fancy dresses, and . . . actually, I'm not sure. 3.5 years after moving into Pretty HQ, I can't get in there to find out what else lurks within.
This wouldn't be a problem if we didn't have the occasional houseguest who - wait for it - wants to actually use the guest bedroom closet. I know! I can't believe their presumption either, but since said guests are either related to or friends with us, I feel obligated to pretend to consider making it available.
It gets worse - within my Monica Closet lurks a pile of lovely old family photographs I've been given to scan & preserve, having recently inherited the unofficial family historian job. Nearly a year later, here they reside:
|This fabulous photo is of my late grandmother, the one who taught me the importance of Good Shoes & Good Husbands, preferably in that order.|
Faced with the damning evidence, I did what any responsible housewife & mother would do:
I know. I need to clean the Monica Closet already, but . . . but what if it's like liposuction, and the bad stuff goes away temporarily, only to return to some other part of the house in two months? Wouldn't it be against the laws of physics, or at the very least, seriously cut into my "Rachel Zoe" viewing time? It's just all too overwhelming.
Hence the Monica Closet remains for now, but the family photographs scanning & framing resumes today. No, really. I mean it.
Care to share your own Monica Closet secret?