Of course, I now realize that there isn't one right answer to how people go about the business of being happily partnered. Though I'm occasionally tempted, I try not to judge those who go about the Smug Married business differently than the Anonymous Husband & me. Yes, really.
That being said, I did recently run across one thing that activated my Smug Married Smirk of Judgment - the joint marital email account. Yesterday I spent no less than fifteen minutes attempting to identify the sender of an email giving me detailed instructions about a new volunteer thingy - clearly I'd met this person, but when? Who was she - or he? By whom would my reply email be read? Most importantly - here comes the ugly Smirk - this person was clever enough to get online and send an email, but not so to establish their very own account? This only got me thinking more about the few joint Facebook accounts I've noticed, and I remain . . . confused.
[Imagine Smug Married Look of Judgment in lieu of post photo here; I apologize for the lack of visual splendor here today.]
Let me rush to state the obvious - yes, I'm somewhat traditional in many aspects, marriage included. I took my husband's last name without much consternation, and of course I'm happily home raising Master P and making a mess of this homemaker stuff. That being said, it would no more occur to me to share an email or Facebook account, or share my passwords for the same, with the AH than my wearing a fanny pack in public would.
One of my favorite aspects of this Smug Married gig is the trust factor. Call me naive, but I like being treated as someone who can be trusted to have some privacy, email included, and I believe/ sincerely hope I've married someone worthy of that respect too. I don't want to get into the business of monitoring his communications - why bother marrying someone when that is even a question? The AH & I are united as one, according to the tenets of our religion, yet we're two separate people too.
Should there come a time in which my Spouse Not to be Shared With Others theory is called into question, for example, I imagine the AH & I would quickly revisit this separate accounts thing. For now, however, surely building in some space to trust one another is a healthy thing - for us, at any rate.
In my dotage, I now try to ask the question, "Maybe I'm the weirdo here?" when I find myself in these Smirk of Judgment types of situations - so, am I the weirdo here for believing in individual online accounts? Is there a comfort in sharing accounts or passwords I'm overlooking? A generational thing?