You're the ones who see me at a party, learn that I'm a parent to a sparkly new 1 year old, and lead me straight off the small talk plank that all freshly minted moms - ok, most - ok, this one - dread, "So, when are you having your next kid?"
Short Answer: I'm inclined to ignore your question, Miss Judas. We've already covered this ground in my stirring State of the Uterus address; to sum up, my people will issue a press release the second my ladybits are occupied with issue (assuming if/when such a time happens). Look for my Bravo TV reality series, "From the Moment of Conception!" to follow immediately thereafter.
Long, Retired Lawer Answer: Dude. DUDE. It depends.
The AH & I pinky swore to discuss this topic once Master P turned one, having discussed before the possibility of having not just one but two Ralph Lauren ad-style children. We each have one sibling whom we enjoy most of the time & figured we might follow in two-child suit. Master P has since turned one . . . and, scene. Not a peep from either team.
The topic has been kicking around in my head, lo these two weeks since Master P's birthday. However, like a mental game of Whack-a-Mole, every time I begin to entertain the thought, NONONO MUST FIRST HAVE MORE SLEEP WINE TRAVEL GET BABY #1 POTTY TRAINED AND INTO PRESCHOOL FOR HIGHLY GIFTED & TALENTED TODDLERS IF NOT OXFORD CAPS LOCK PANIC pops up & squishes the thought with a definitive splat.
Ahem. So there's that.
Like we chit-chatted about in that baby hater post, I find myself relieved to be done with Master P's newborn stage. I feel vaguely guilty about that. However, if another baby could show up cooked Medium Well, so to about 7-8 postpartum months done, and look just like my husband and have all of his good qualities and none of my (many) bad ones, we'd be in baby #2 business yesterday.
Absent the stork making an appearance - or you nice people agreeing to raise spawn #2 through the newborn stage - I think I need a drink & a while. A few whiles, maybe.
|The Pretty Pug, seen here hovering under the high chair waiting for Master P to begin his customary food flinging, is pro-baby #2 - or pro-baby #2 once we hit the dine-n-fling era, that is.|
To conclude, nosy small talk partygoers - we may try at some point! Or we may not! I have faulty ladybits that may factor in somehow! Um. Aren't you glad you asked!?!
Any advice, darlings, if you have more than 1 kid on how to time a second child (to the extent any of this is in our hands, that is?)
More importantly, what's the question asked at parties once you're definitively done having kids? Is colonoscopy chit-chat next, or do we do a few years in school board purgatory first?