Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Playgroups & Other Things to Feel Guilty About

I eagerly sat down to my trusty Mac today, intent on share deeply meaningful and painfully relevant insights about my transmogrification into a card carrying Mommy Mafioso.

Instead, I'm just feeling relieved, hugely so, and a little guilty about it. How's that for deeply meaningful?

I've whined about described here over the past month Master P's health & nap struggles, but today - finally  - he was well & rested enough to attend our playgroup. For the non-Snug Mummies out there, the technical definition of one of these playdates is a group of maybe five to ten moms, all stay-at-home in our case, who meet once or twice per week to socialize babies & moms alike.

The non-technical definition of playgroup for me has = lifeline. As many of you so wisely suggested months ago, finding a group of like-minded mothers to ease my transition into stay-at-home motherhood has been a tremendous source of support, blah blah blah. (NB: I had to add the "blah blah" to maintain some semblance of ironic detachment here; thank you for understanding.). Of gaining insight onto how to approach the changes to come in Master P's life, from nap schedules to the mysteries of preschool wait lists. Of having a place where I can vent. Oh, and providing a nice outlet in which Master P can play in a new, stimulating environment and socialize with other babies.

It's the "Oh, also..." bit that gets me shame spiraling into the Mom Guilt abyss. Shouldn't Master P be enough? Why am I desperate to get out of the house regularly? What happened to the lady desperate for handbags, not the company of other housewives? Is there anything I can't feel guilty about now? Does this mean I miss the working life? (If not being a lawyer, because - no.)(With emphasis)(Parentheses)

Guilt aside, I can't tell you how familiar and welcoming it was to walk into a room of other moms & babies today and have that sense of community, even with those where the only thing which we have in common are said babies. Yes, chilly me, the Queen of Detachment - Hillary Clinton & I both take a village.

And on that terminally sappy note, I'm going to go get Pretty - yes, moms dress up for one another just like we did as Singletons - to attend yet another playgroup this afternoon, lest I continue to sit here overanalyzing this. We'll get back to the business of being Prettier than Everyone Else & other vitally important matters tomorrow; for today, I'm going to brush aside the guilt in manner of my uptight forebears and enjoy.


LPC said...

Now listen young lady. If you even let one second of guilt over this take hold in your warm heart I am going to have to speak very strictly to you. Humans beings are social animals! Look at monkeys! Do THEY stay home in their little nest, alone with bored babies! No. They do not.

Hie thee to as many mother's groups as you can find:). And have fun. I am sure you are a stalwart member and everyone looks forward to your arrival.

P.S. We dressed up for our mother's group monthly dinners. So. Much. Fun.

Beach Bum & Baby said...

I totally know what you mean!!

I do Little Gym, Story Time and now some different play groups and just random mommy dates. Here's the thing. Isn't it crazy that some of these women who I would definitely NOT ordinarily be friends with end up being so close and so easy to talk to? It's such a weird dynamic that I swear you can't understand unless you are a part of. (Crap, now I feel like I'm back at Sorority rush.)

I'm glad you are getting out and about. It's key. For mommies and babies alike!!

Sadz we aren't near each other. I could totally see some skinny girl margs in our afternoons!! :)

Lisa said...

Talking to other adults keeps you sane. Otherwise you are spending 24-7 caretaking for another person who, while adorable, does not exactly show an interest in your needs or wants as a person. Spending time with friends makes you feel good, just like before kids. Enjoy it!

One of the hardest things about where we live now is there is a language barrier for me--I have been unable to find a mom's group that speaks English here. (And I have three kids under five--I could really use a mom's group.) I think had it been easier to make friends in this town we probably wouldn't be moving.

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