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| At sea aboard the "SS Mom Guilt" |
As part of our desire to remain Smug Marrieds *and* Smug Parents, the Anonymous Husband & I decided a few months back, when our precious wee babe Master P reached the ripe old age of 6 months, that we ought to take a week long vacation - a vacation without said precious wee babe, that is.
Before you call in the Parenting Police, consider: travel has played an important part in our relationship since our long-distance beginnings. Our best times together often happen when we get out of town, just the two of us, and eat and drink our way into those meaty conversations work and Blackberry reception and, now, babies don't always allow for.
Also - sleep. Just after we booked this trip - to Cabo, for those keeping track - Master P began to sleep through the night (*again, cue angel choir*), but we were still short a good six months of slumber. Those impure thoughts I had when Master P was a newborn - the ones about a clean, fluffy, made-by-someone-else hotel bed - came back with a vengeance.
And so we set about booking the trip, when - *cue mom guilt music* *whatever that sounds like* *maybe the cello is to guilt like the sax is to s-e-x scenes?*
"What sort of people are we that we want to take a vacation without our baby?" we - ok, I - wondered. Many friends of mine, stay-at-home and working moms alike, wouldn't dream of leaving town without their own precious wee babes - why did we want to? Were we terrible parents? Most importantly, would Master P recognize me when we returned?
Guilt was a powerful cocktail, but the need for sleep and a swim-up bar proved even stronger, and so we booked the trip.
Cue two months later, when I was dropping off Master P with my kind Anonymous In-Laws, who not only were lovely enough to watch him while the AH & I traveled, but also pretended to pay attention to the written (single-spaced, multi-page...) directions I left them. I even held it together while delivering the approximately 4,305 items of baby equipment.
It was while I drove away from the Anonymous In-Laws that it hit me; I didn't cry, but I couldn't breathe normally either. Unconsciously I kept looking in the rear view mirror, searching for that grinning face in the car seat. I felt plagued with the feeling that I'd forgotten something, that there was a tangible, physical something (someone) missing.
Operating under the "It will be fine, it will be fine..." mantra, the AH & I managed to get packed that night & off to the airport early the next morning. That phantom feeling still plagued me, but one foot in front of the other-style, I boarded the plane, and it got incrementally easier. I selfishly appreciated the uninterrupted hour I spent reading "US Weekly" "The Economist" and not having to inspect my clothes for spit-up stains.
And we arrived. We saw. We slept - until 8:30 am every morning. We had the conversations that only seem to happen when you're out of pocket - and Blackberry/iPhone reception. We called the Anonymous In-Laws at least once per day to check in on Master P, and those calls allowed us to just . . . at the risk of sounding too Sarah Maclachlan about it . . . be.
I confess to panicking the one day we quite literally sailed right out of cell reception; I gulped back another margarita my tears, remembered that I actually trust my in-laws - no, really - and decided to hold off the panic until the next day.
I survived - and I'm glad we went. I've never been so relieved to board a flight home - or relieved, ever before, to be going home - but I'm still glad we went. That two-toothed smile on Master P's face when I picked him up - he recognized me! - was simply the best welcome anywhere, ever.
And as much as I'm hugely looking forward to taking Master P to see the world, I'm looking forward to doing some of that just with the AH too, guilt be hanged - preferably by a swim-up bar...
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| Voila - our room with a view of the swim-up bar |
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| About to dine at Market, One of Our Favorite Restaurants of All Time ("OOOFROAT"); also, please note the clever concealment of roots behind the Anonymous Husband's happy grin. |
15 comments:
Love it! I've been sharing your posts with my BF that just had her first baby and you're totally helping her through all the new mommy stuff! Good for you for taking some time for yourself - just because we become mommies doesn't mean we lose our desire to have fun too! But that good old mommie guilt always manages to creep in no matter how much fun we are having!
How do you know exactly what is on MY mind?!
I went for a walk on Sunday and felt guilty as I was walking away. For a walk?! I had to keep reminding myself that it was OK and I needed some ME time too. Then my hubby and I got to talking about our travel plans this summer. Portugal to see the in laws and I dared say we talked about a weekend in Spain (sans baby)!! Should I feel guilty? I do, but I know I need time to de stress and get some sleep. Time to go out to eat and relax. I will miss the little guy but I won't be a bad parent. I have to keep reminding myself. If I go crazy, then I will be a bad mom for not taking care of myself for my son and husband.
My baby was 11 before we ever took any kind of vacation without him, and by then, he had a younger brother to add to the mix...and honestly, our vacation was to Missouri, and listen, no offense, Missouri, but that was SO not a vacation! I think if I'd ended up someplace like Cabo, I'd have come back gestating a third kid to possibly impede any future vacation plans, which isn't to say I wouldn't mind going to Cabo, but I think I have to go there vicariously through this post, so I'm glad you went and enjoyed your time to re-energize!
I commend you for being able to do that for yourself and your marriage. I firmly believe that I would have had a full on melt down. It kills me just to have to leave for work in the morning and looking in the rear view mirror is a constant reminder. (It may make me drive a wee bit faster on the way home). Fortunately (or unfortunately) we will not have to worry about vacations for the next few years with Doctor Husband starting residency. -wow that kind of sounds depressing now...
I am slowly working up the courage to leave my 10 month old with one of her capable and caring grandparents just for an hour or two while I go to Costco alone or perhaps just sit around my house in quiet. I commend you for taking this trip with your husband. I need to put on some big girl pants and do the same.
Jealous! I would kill for a vacation! No one will take my terror of a daughter overnight.
I feel like spending time with the husband alone keeps me refreshed and more able to deal with my kids. We get a sitter every Sunday afternoon and do something fun.
I love your honesty in these posts! My in-laws are 7 hours away and while we don't have children yet, I already have plans to meet them halfway and drop the children of for a week. Maybe more when they get older...
Cute blog, I'm a new follower :)
xo
Erin
pinkandpolos.blogspot.com
OMW!! My hubby and I were just there, and i mean i think at the same resort!! We were also enjoying a week away from kiddos. (so fabulous!)
It was our first time in Cabo, and what an amazing place. sigh. Glad to be home though.
So nice to see you back in the blogland! And good for you, for taking a vacation. You deserved it! And love the photo - not sure I've seen a photo of you and AH before, and y'all are absolutely adorable!!
I kind of hate the notion that once you have children you can never, ever vacation again. Good for you guys for taking a week to yourselves!
Also, are you referring to Market in Del Mar? My husband and I had dinner there right after we got engaged. I was so excited that I barely ate, but the few bites I had were amazing!
I can't comment on anything about the baby because I'm clueless but I love that you two got away on a trip together. You're an adorable couple!
Ok, I am standing up and saying "Bravo!" here.
My parents used to vacation together sans me when I was a kid and you know what, I survived! I love looking at their photos of romantic trips to London and holidays at B&Bs. Of course, we took lots of family vacations too, but, I love that they had "their" time. Of course, my father seems to have forgotten this with his new wife and child and my sister is now 12 years old and they have never, ever, ever gone anywhere without her. A few years ago, they took a would be romantic vacation on a train through Canada for their ten year anniversary--guess what's not so romantic? An EIGHT YEAR OLD. I can't even get them to come visit me for a weekend without my little sister.
Now, this isn't to say that parents should abandon their children all the time, but, I think it's perfectly smart and HEALTHY to have your own time on vacation as husband and wife.
I now will step off my soapbox.
PS. You and AH are darling.
Can I say how jealous I am that you got to go do this. I would say that I would LOVE to go on vacation without BG. I want to sleep late and drink too much and not have to worry about her. But I don't see that happening. :( Because I'm a freak and don't trust anyone enough... Maybe someday. Tell me to buck up and quit being ridiculous!!
Good for you! I commend you for making alone time with the hubby! I think a lot of ppl forget that hubby wants your undivided attention too! Cabo looks just dreamy. I am waiting for the day little man can sleep through the night so hubby and I can take a mini vacation and reconnect. It is so important!!
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