Featured Blogger Friday: ". . . For a Different Kind of Girl"

There are some blogs I read for the pretty things they feature and those that I like simply because they're funny or charming. And then there are those few that knock me sideways with the consistent perfection of the writing, which somehow manages to be hilarious, insightful, clever, and just the right amount of sentimental. Today's Feature Friday blogger, ". . . For a Different Kind of Girl" (aka, FADKOG), falls into that latter category for me.

And so, like the ridiculous fangirl I am, I begged FADKOG, a wife, mom, bookseller, and all-around cool chick living in the Great Midwest, for an interview. She is difficult to pigeonhole as a blogger (a compliment, to my mind) - as she notes below, she's not exactly a mommy blogger, but her tales about her family and her work life are just too funny and dear for you to be missing out on one second longer. Even when she ostensibly is writing about nothing, like with "Seinfeld", her nothing is infinitely better than everyone else's.

Plus, she knows her REAL "Beverly Hills 90210" (ahem) and John Hughes movies like no other, so she's de facto awesome in my book.

Without further fangirl blathering, here is FADKOG . . .

Why she started blogging: I started blogging in September 2006. Before I started writing my own blog, I traveled the world via other writers and their blogs, discovering just how freeing people find the Internet to be as a place to share their joys or their burdens with others who, I also discovered, were more often than not, willing to celebrate with them or offer their support by whatever means possible despite likely never having met the person who'd written the initial words. I had a small list of favorite blogs I liked to routinely visit, but because I had no blog of my own at the time, I never left comments. It seems strange to say this now, but I didn't feel like it was my place to impose somewhere if I didn't have a place to call my own as proof that I could then share with them.

Anyway, among that small list of favorite blogs was one in particular written by a gentleman who, unfortunately, no longer is blogging, but who had a talent for crafting words, and I would often visit his site many times a day to see if he'd updated or to re-read something he'd previously written. I had no clue about blogging or site tracking capabilities, so I didn't know he'd know I was there as often as I was, until one day I visited his blog and found an entry titled with the name of my town and a very short, very nice post asking me to reveal myself. I was stunned, a bit delighted, and from then, totally pulled! I left a comment, some gushing little fan letter of a comment, and we were soon bantering back and forth on his blog that way. It didn't take long for my new friend to ask if I had my own blog. I think it was his polite way of telling me I was giving him far too many words and that I should lessen the burden on him by sharing them with others!

One day, he essentially dropped the gauntlet on me and challenged me to start a blog that very day. I remember him telling me that I should have a post up and ready for him to read later that same afternoon. I panicked! I then wrote a very lengthy response detailing how that was impossible because I had nothing to say (tip - never be incredibly wordy when trying to tell someone you have nothing to say!). Then I caved, opened up Blogger, created an account, and started typing. Thirty minutes later, I'd posted my very first blog entry. I thought I'd be a 'one and done' blogger, able to tell my friend, "Look! See! I did it!" and then delete it, but I was already starting to feel like there was more I wanted to write.



Her Writing Background: Before I started blogging, I hadn't written anything longer than a grocery list in four years. I'm not sure if seven years of every week coming up with 10 news stories, features articles, columns, and editorials for a community newspaper burned me out completely, or I simply didn't feel like I had anything of interest to say anymore, but I just never felt the pull to write during that lull.

I have friends who are incredible writers and who make the art of telling a story seem effortless. However, I have a tendency to be my own worst enemy when it comes to trying my hand at creative writing. Some of my blog posts that have remained my favorites have been written when I was able to just sit down with my laptop, turn off my inner critic, and just spill. (Pretty Note: So her best blogging seems like every single one of her posts to me. Truly. Amazing to see that those I consider the best at this still struggle with this too.)

I wish I was always able to write that way, and in this last month, I've really been attempting to do so by branching out and trying my hand at writing fiction. A group of fellow blog authors whose writing I enjoy started a blog called Polite Fictions, then invited a small group of their favorite writers to participate. I was terrified - and secretly delighted - when I opened my email one afternoon to discover I was included in the group asked to participate. The point of Polite Fictions, other than putting me into fits of complete panic when it's my turn to contribute, thus forcing one of the fantastic leaders of the group to talk me down from the ledge through a series of angst-ridden emails I send him, is for the various authors to develop a narrative through four paragraph entries.

The site's been active for a month now, and we're developing an intriguing tale we'd love for people to read. Every new entry is like a grown up version of a Choose Your Own Adventure book (Pretty Note: LOVE those books, yes, even to this day) and as a writer, it's been fun to pick up a nugget of the story from a previous entry and create a new twist for the protagonists, and then come back a couple days later to discover where the next author has taken us. I still don't feel like I belong among the group, and I still sweat out the details too much, but I love that participating in Polite Fictions MAKES me try my hand at something I'm not necessarily comfortable with.

Her Blogging Inspiration: I've been inspired to write posts by what's going on around me, little snippets of conversation I pick up, the trash and treasures my husband has come home with, and even the way my children look at me. My pockets are often filled with little post-it notes with words I've scribbled on them with ideas I'd like to write about.

I'd like to say I'm forever inspired by greatness, but then I'd be left unable to explain why I wrote a post one day after opening my pantry and discovering five bottles of Thousand Island salad dressing inside and writing a short post about my addiction to it and having that be the post that, at the time, garnered me the most comments I'd ever had! (Pretty Note: Here's the thing - you won't believe how well she writes about the Thousand Island dressing.)

About Tool Man, Her Dreamy-Sounding Husband, and Newlywed Advice: Oh, my Tool Man IS fairly dreamy! In a few weeks, we'll have been married for 15 years, and though it may sound cliche, I can honestly say that it seems unfathomable to me that I've been next to this man for that long!

I've said this before on my own blog, but I'll say it here, too. Every night, we fall asleep holding hands. Every night. This despite the way he can be snoring within seconds of his head hitting the pillow and how I like to stay up late with the bedside lamp burning in his face so I can read whatever book it is I'm enjoying that I know I'll never be able to discus with him because he's not a reader. We don't wake up in the morning still clasping hands, but that one little gesture has been the way we connect with each other, acknowledge forgiveness when we've had to, and remember why we're here in the first place, so my marriage tip for newlywed readers is to find that gesture that lets your spouse know you're in this for the duration. It doesn't have to be holding hands while you drift off to sleep. It can be a note or a telephone call, but just something that reminds you - and them - why you wanted to spend your life with them.

The Inspiration Behind Her Blog Title: When I was challenged to start my own blog, I had no idea what to call it. I think I stewed over a name longer than I did my first posts!

I have been a longtime fan of INXS. KICK was essentially the soundtrack of my senior year of college, and I would have sold my soul to worship at the feet of Michael Hutchence. (Pretty Note: I'm legitimately sorry for you Gen Ys & younger, because you didn't know the magnificence that was Michael Hutchence in the INXS heyday, may he rest in peace) There was a time when I swore I'd never marry a man who wouldn't allow me to have Never Tear Us Apart played during the ceremony. When I started writing, I didn't know where I was going to fit in, or even what I was going to write about after my initial post. That made me think of the INXS song To Look At You. The lyric reads "What is the name to call for a different kind of girl who knows the feelings, but never the words." I've always loved that line for so many reasons, and when I recalled that, it seemed like the perfect blog title for me.

I should note that my Tool Man had never heard of INXS before he met me, and while I'm sure he'd have let me have Never Tear Us Apart played during the ceremony, we instead opted to have my dear college friend butcher a version of "Have I Told You Lately?" in a feeble attempt to copy Rod Stewart's unplugged rendition of it. I'm still haunted by the memory! Perhaps the reason Tool Man still holds my hand every night as he drifts off to sleep is to calm me from the nightmares!


About Her Two Sons: I love my children with a capacity I never thought possible. I think every mother can probably say that. I don't think I have the market cornered on that sentiment, but I always am amazed when sometimes just watching them while they do their homework or play with their friends (or, better yet, play together) can make me teary-eyed. I've taken a lot of things for granted, but I'll never take being their mother for granted. My oldest son is 12, and is compassionate and honest and wants to be sure that everyone is having a good time. He's an incredible athlete, which is shocking since he's the child of two bench warmers, and watching him come alive and take charge on a basketball court is awesome. I have been that mom who is still standing and cheering while everyone else has sat down, but every time my son does something he's proud of while playing, he'll look up in the bleachers for his Dad and me and point to us, and when he does, it's like my heart grows far bigger than is possibly safe!

My youngest son is 7, and is charming and delightful and a natural born comedian. He chooses a new name to answer to on a weekly basis, reads to me in an English accent, and can whip out his math homework like it's a complete no-brainer, which, again, is pretty amazing considering his mother is a completely without any math knowledge. He'll be my accountant by fourth grade, I'm sure. Even though he's close to outgrowing this, there are many nights he'll come find me and sit down as close as he possibly can, then rest his head on my arm. I've kept him up past his bedtime some evenings just to bask in that time with him. I love running errands with just him because he'll sit in the back and chatter away about anything under the son and ply me with fascinating facts or lame jokes, and because he's so fond of speaking in that English accent I mentioned, it makes the time doing something mundane seem like a cultural affair! Plus, I know more about spiders than I ever thought I'd want to know!

Those are my favorite things. It's hard to think of a challenging thing about motherhood because I've been given two incredibly laid back kids. They make this job easy, and I knock on wood just typing that! I think the most challenging thing may be the nights when Tool Man is out of town for work and the single parent mode shifts in. My kids are self-sufficient so that helps, but it's running one of them here and the other one there, making dinner while keeping homework help straight, fielding phone call after phone call from girls wanting to talk to both of them (WHA?!), and doing everything else that needs to take place around the house at the same time that makes parenting a challenge. I only do it about three nights a week, so I know I'm lucky, but I've never quite gotten the perfect handle on this routine.

The Books We Should Be Reading (Pretty Note: FADKOG & I both love reading and have worked in/ served time in bookstores): I recently finished The Death of Bunny Munro by Nick Cave (Pretty Note: Yes, that Nick Cave, the excellent musician) and, while it's by no means a feel good story, it is a very beautiful, very lyrically written story of a man so wrapped up in his own various addictions that he's unable to see how much the son he must now care for in light of his wife's death loves him even as he believes he's teaching him the way of the world.

My favorite book of all time is Cormac McCarthy's The Road, another 'feel good' story about a father and son! This time it's a father and son who journey a post-apocalyptic America, but unlike during the journey Bunny Munro takes with his son, Bunny Jr., in the previously mentioned book, you know the plight of the unnamed father and son in The Road is fueled by mutual hope and love and sacrifice. I loved this book from the moment I started reading it and still can't stop thinking about it years after reading it. Reading it made me want to dive into other Cormac McCarthy books, and I've quite enjoyed many of them, including No Country For Old Men and Blood Meridian. McCarthy's writing style isn't for everyone, but it's worth a try to bask in how he crafts a story.

What She Wants a New Reader to Know Before Clicking Over to Her Blog: That I'm glad they've stopped by, and that I hope after reading a post or two, they'll come back and hopefully leave a comment so I know they were there! I love hearing other people's take on something I've written. Also, it's not a controversial blog. There are others who can take up a cause so much better than I can. It's also not a straight up 'mommy blog,' either. It's kind of a "whatever struck me that day so I wrote about it" blog. They should also know that I occasionally like to drop the Jonas Brothers or 90210 (mostly old school BH Niner, even though, heaven help me, I am STILL watching the new series) into my posts because I have something of an unholy love for both, and that I can be wordy (which may no longer be a secret based on the length of the responses I gave here!). Mostly, I would like them to know what I originally said - I'm glad they visited, I hope they enjoyed their time there enough to hopefully come back, and I hope to see them again. And that, yes, I actucally DID write a post about my addiction to Thousand Island salad dressing!

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FADKOG, thank you for indulging my fangirl-ism and playing along today. Readers, for the two of you who aren't already indulging in her blog, please do so immediately here. You can (read: should) also follow her Tweets here.