They - you know, that mysterious "they" - say you should keep a marriage spontaneous in order to keep the interest going. However, in my near 3 - yes, almost THREE years, clearly approaching varsity team status! - years of Smug Marriage, I've determined that certain things just work better with a system.
Take, for example, the business of breaking potentially controversial news to your partner*. We've explored these murky waters previously, including this misadventure, but never have we plunged our Wellies (pink, of course) into the actual muck of how to broach these indelicate subjects.** This is exactly the sort of thing where all that relationship spontaneity we're supposed to be getting up to can simply wreck the conversation.
*Or can I just say spouse? Significant other? Can anyone suggest a generic term for this that doesn't make me spiritually barf just a little and/or set the PC Police into a lather?
**And yes, by "broach indelicate subjects" I do mean "covertly convince your spouse /boyfriend /partner type to do exactly as you suggest"
Of course, I recommend that you all assess which system works best for your spousely-type person; my carefully honed unpleasant and/or controversial news delivery system is as follows:
Step 1: Meet the Anonymous Husband out for a drink;
Step 2: Order round of drinks #1;
Step 3: Order drink #2 for the AH;
Step 4: Assess level of AH chattiness and general demeanor;
Step 5: Slip in unpleasant and/or controversial news in the most calm voice I can muster;
Step 6: Quickly follow up step #5 with another drinks order.
Alas, this system is not guaranteed to have a felicitous outcome, but my extensive, highly scientific research has shown this gives a heightened chance of success. Besides, if my system doesn't work, at least you've both had a few drinks to lessen the blow. Not to toot my own horn - except if I don't, who the Hell else will? - in the immortal words of a certain Miss Elle Woods, I find this to be ". . . a completely brilliant plan".
What's your system? Or are you a fan of the spontaneous approach?