I don't mean that in the sense of the little white lies and pleasantries we (in the royal "We" sense of the term) tell ourselves to get through the day. I mean it in the sense of encouraging you to avoid certain life catastrophes, while I barrel headfirst towards the same.
I should have known better. I shouldn't have headed to the mall after a frustrating week at work, tired and cranky and with a grumbling tummy. Just like going to the grocery store on an empty stomach, such a journey is destined to end badly.
And so it was last Friday afternoon, when I fell prey to the lure of the shoe department and a smoothly charming salesman who caught a whiff of my Eau de Annoyance and struck accordingly. As if in a dream, I found myself handing over my credit card, uncertain yet chanting inwardly, "I am fierce, I am fashion forward, I am . . ."
. . . a disco gladiator diva?!?"
Sigh. WHERE to begin with the problems in this photo . . .
1) My Fashion Fatwah on all things gladiator or gladiator inspired (with limited exceptions, but not this one);
2) Combining multiple trends - metallic! cork platforms! gladiator straps! exposed zippers! - all in one gilded package, hence shortening an already wee trend shelf life;
4) This is money that could be spent for a good cause, like this or other vitally important matters like the "splurge", classic heels I am saving up to buy.
I mean, I'm a shift-wearing, lady lawyering member of the Junior League, forchrissakes. While that doesn't de facto doom me to a life of sensible twinsets - a girl needs to step outside of her fashion boundaries every now and again - it does mean that this is exactly the type of look that would wear me, and not the other way around. Some of you could and should pull this look off without a second thought, whereas I would attempt it & inevitably feel awkward the entire night. Self-conscious isn't a good look no matter what the shoe.
So back to Nordstrom I went, retail tail between my legs, to return the shoes. I'd say that I've learned my lesson & won't be issuing Fashion Fatwahs again, but we all know that's ridiculous because being judgmental is too fun. Besides, what fun are these fashion rules if we can't break them every now and again? I just won't do it at the expense of the PPW Test - nor will I shop again without a nap & a snack first, because I'm apparently no more than an overgrown kindergartner with an AmEx.
Feel free to flog me in the comments for flouting my own standards*. Can you forgive me, darlings?
*As well as for assaulting you with alliteration. And assonance, as it turns out. "Assonance" - heh heh heh.
37 comments:
ummm...at least they were Kors...? We all fall victim to fashion at one point or another. At least your fall included shoes and not jumpers/rompers (which were in my dream - ARGH!! - last night).
How many times have I been in those same shoes (did i seriously just say that? suppose i did...)
Ha ha...that is a great post. We've all been there. Just something about pulling out that card and buying something that makes us feel better. Good for you for fessing up! ;-)
It's ok girl. Everyone makes mistakes. Good thing you took those badboys back.
I think it may take me an hour to get the grin off my face. So glad to know I'm not the only one to have made such a sad mistake. At least you remedied it. I say head to DSW and get a good black Gladiator simile that you can rock for the rest of the season without guilt.
it happens to all of us. I do not think I would have the will power to return them though.
Fabulous post! I fear I am a kindergartner with an AmEx all too often, I'm sure to the chagrin of my husband. I'm just not as good at taking things back and then find them collecting dust in the closet 6 months later.
I don't know...maybe I'll be in the minority, but I think you coul have totally pulled them off. I'm not a huge fan of the gladiator style, but there's something about them that doesn't bug me - maybe it's my love of a good wedge? Anyway, I'm proud of you for returning them if they didn't make you happy, but you would have looked great either way!
Shopping on an empty stomach? For shame. Sage move returning them. Although, I think they're cute, they would have driven you crazy for spending the cheddar.
I enjoy a fun trendy shoe every now and then, but I definitely try to figure the price per wear because really? I wear the trendy shoes once or twice and then they sit in my closet for the rest of their life. I am finally learning that it is better to invest my money in shoes I can wear to work and out and about.
Nordstroms = heaven :) xxxoo
I like the shoes, but I couldn't pull them off myself.
My darling Pretty, don't fret, we've all been there. At least you were able to return them! And yes, never wise to shop whilst angry, tired or hungry....incidentally, possibly why I haven't seen the inside of a mall in how long...?
I am 5'4" on a very very good day, so while I momentarily consider shoes such as those(especially in that perfect shade of gold), I then imagine the ensuing stumps I will have instead of legs. Powerful dissuasion.
A day late and a dollar short, but I am here nonetheless on a referral from my beloved Snowbound over at When Pigs Fly. I can see why the two of you have hit it off here in blogland. You both are very witty individuals whose approach to writing is a fresh of breath air in the blogosphere.
Case in point: this post.
I cannot pass up the opportunity to read more from a blog like yours. We're following!
-Francesca
Haha I just love this post :) Definitely been in that sitiuation
And your note at the end just cracked me up.. out comes the English class dork in me
Think of this way. You fell on your fashion samurai sword for us. And we thank you.
i actually do like these shoes, but they would look ridiculous on me, hence why i have avoided them at all costs.
Everyone should practice the nap & juice box before shopping. It would save us from so much shopping remorse, no?
For some reason those shoes could pull off the uber-trendiness - but I completely agree that they could wear some (me included) and will be so last year in a blink.
So wrong and so good. This post is all kinds of great.
Returning them brings redemption and forgiveness. We've all done so as well at one point or another.
Hilarious! Good call on the return and all is forgiven!
A girl can never have too many shoes, hehe. You just had a weak moment buying those FABULOUS shoes. Good job returning them though. Don't you feel better now?
I'm sad I can't see the photo, but even if I could, I'd never fashion flog you because, honey, there are Crocs in my closet right now, so...
I totally forgive you, darling! You made the right decision :)
xoxox,
CC
I can only fault you for 50% of this... Someone needs to let Mr. Kors know that these are NOT okay and he will not be allowed to run his mouth on Project Runway while producing crap like those. Good call taking them back, they are really... something. ;)
dearest lovely, i can see how these shoes lured you in. gold - a classic! wedge - summery! um, zippers??
the wonderful thing about Nordstrom is that we can ride our new shoe high all the way home and, as long as we only parade them around on the carpet inside, can still return them when the remorse over our style-sin kicks in. But how fun to play. As long as you remember to return. Which is more than I can ask of myself, so I am so very proud of you. xx
You are too funny! But, alas, I think you certainly did the right thing returning those! In addition to hunger and after a bad week, one should never shop after a cocktail or three either! Once, when I had a few drinks with my dear friend, we walked over to Saks (we were at a retaurant in the mall parking lot...) and she proceeded to purchase a Gucci fannypack! Yes! And not even a black one! It is the brown print with a teal strap. Not good at all.
I actually really like the shoes. But I couldn't pull it off. I don't like anything that brings attention to my ankles. Pretty sure those would do just that...
Oh my goodness gracious sakes alive.
Oh dear.
We're pretty comfortable this wasn't your fault Miss Pretty, really it wasn't. These were planted at Nordstrom as a ruse to try and make you go to the dark side, but see? You came back to us, keeping the Planet Pretty for another day.
Phew, that was a close one.
Heh-heh-heh.
tp
Great post! The real question is, how did you come to the conclusion that these were heinous? I'm intrigued about the evolution of .....
"cute, kinda want, ooh they're cute on me, I'm gonna get these"
to
"oh no what have I done, clearly my worshiping throngs of adorers can not find out about my bad judgement"
to
"I should probably come clean".
HOLY COW! I purchased these EXACT SAME SHOES only in a leather brown color--and have since been kicking myself in the ass because a) I work in finance--where the hell am I going to wear these, and b) I would have been so much better served directing shoe funds to a classy peep-toe pump that I could rock the boat with at the office (since close toed are preferred). Love it.
I can't stop giggling about this! I love how you bullet-point out all the reasons you are remorseful. Too funny, friend, too dang funny!
Y'know I can see it, the appeal of the shoes. They're actually really cute. I know though, where do you wear them?
If they were on sale maybe...
Oh my god you should see the shoes I bought two weeks ago (on sale). I'm totally trying to invent places to wear them.
They are cute but I do know the feeling!
You were a helpless victim in the shoe dept. I would have planned several outfits to go w/these shoes too! Sometimes you need a little "Retail Bulimia" to make a good fashion call. I do it all the time. xox MBM
I am confused. Does the metallic "glam up" the cork or does the cork make the metallic suitably more casual?
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