- I have seven years of higher education under my mental belt, and no, that wasn't all spent in undergrad although I certainly wish that it was. Kids, extend your time in glorious undergrad for as long as possible - or as long as Mom & Dad will tolerate it;
- I have a dreadfully serious day job for which I get to read dreadfully serious stuff;
. . . and so in my spare time, amongst the Chaucer and Dickens, I admit to reading and liking beach-reading books like "Mommywood", ghostwritten by my favorite 90210 alum and yours, Tori Spelling. Yes, that Tori Spelling.
While the book does not answer burning Spelling questions such as, "What happened to her real life little brother, ie, Steve Sanders' sibling?" and "What supernatural force, aside from surgery, is behind that incredibly odd cleavage?", I argue that "Mommywood" is both an entertaining and yes, at times relatable, read. I found myself empathizing - empathizing, lots of syllables here - with Spelling's desire to overcome her unusual familial past and create that proverbially "normal", picket-fence clan of her own.
(Credit: Barnes & Noble. With apologies to my 9th Grade Honors English teacher.)
One of you lucky readers will win my copy of "Mommywood" by merely following these convoluted rules:
FOR ONE ENTRY: Leave me a comment to this post;
FOR TWO ENTRIES: In addition to leaving me one comment, let's try something different than the usual drumming-up-followers business - leave me an entertaining haiku, poem, or movie quote. You don't have to write it yourself, but if it isn't yours, please credit the source. Feel free to publicize this giveaway on your site or Twitter, but the key point is the funny bit. If I am amused, you get two entries.
Yes, this "amuse me" bit is a totally subjective standard. I'm writing the rules. Surely my sweetly dictatorial tendencies don't come as a surprise by now, do they?
RULES TO ENTER: Forgive me, international readers, but due to extortionate mailing costs, you must live in the US to win. You must also be 18 years of age.
Entries will close by this Friday, June 19th at 6 pm, so please enter away . . .
42 comments:
Ohh I want to win!! Love Tori and I believe that she and I could be best friends as well. For sure. Definitely not stalkerish at all!
I'm going to have to get back to you on the funny part... yeah, I've got nothing.
ooo love this!! I am a follower.. and i love reading your blog, but something funny hmmmmmm.... I follow the same reading style and have just ordered Lauren Conrad's LA Candy, does that count?
Oh I LOVE Tori Spelling. Not ashamed of this. Also? Early Brit Lit major with a love of trashy biographies.
My haiku
Tori has weird boobs
We ask if she is too thin
I love the trainwrecks
I want this book if only to find out how she keeps the baby sh*t off her taffeta dress.
(I'm a follower and I'm about to post your offer on My Island Wedding.)
My haiku's smell much like the aforementioned baby sh*t, so I'm not going to put anyone through that.
Have a great day, I love your blog...
Of course I want to win. Of course I'll have time to read it. After I pop this kid out and read Eclipse (yet) again.
My attempt at a haiku:
Loveable douchebag
Thy name is Dean McDermott
Who wouldn't want him?
I love Tori Spelling - I'm totally addicted to her show. Pick me!
one entry: please spare me the same of squealing out loud by purchasing this in a public place.
two entries: "so this get out of jail free card....is that based on a real thing?" i watched role models last night. that line almost made me pee my pants.
Shamed: I love me some Tori Spelling.
"Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself."
-Ferris Bueller's Day Off
awesome! I am a follower and I will leave you with the quote that my girlfriends and I said to each other at least daily during law school. "Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, Button, are none of those things." - Mr. Woods, Elle Woods's dad, in Legally Blonde (For some reason this quote really consoled us, even though we were in law school, and should have depressed us... go figure.)
For the record, I do not want to own this book, so don't count my comment as an entry ;-).
But... those boobs!! They were first-ever boobs when, while watching in eighth grade or whatever it was, I turned to my mom and said, "Something's wrong with her cleavage." It's like a cavern in there.
You can deny my entry as I won the last Tori giveaway, but dude...have you seen her anorexic ass lately? It's horrifying. And it makes me sad because I could totally relate to Tori ala season one of T&D.
Love it! I'm in!
I have no witty quotes for this AM, my apologies...
Love her!
What I want to know is does she spill any secrets on what it was like to kiss Brian Austin Green?
DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!
i know it's not a haiku. but i could watch that episode until i die... also addicted to the new show, and i think my boyfriend dies a little inside when i watch it! can't help it though. her kids are cute and i'm still trying to figure out how nutri-system made her lose 90% of her body weight.
Yeah, I'm not funny or creative on a Monday morning. So just enter me once!
Ah I love Donna Martin!
Tori was always my favorite evr since i was a little girl watching 90210... loved Stori Telling... and the shows have been hilarious... this is just an awesomly wicked giveaway.
And now I shall leave you with Tori's opening words in Stori telling...
"When you’re a kid, you don’t worry what anyone thinks. You go around saying whatever pops into your head or picking your teeth, and it never occurs to you that someone might think you’re gross, awkward, or ridiculous. That was me—picking my nose, snorting when I laughed, wearing white after Labor Day—I just was who I was."
Bless your heart - I am so glad I'm not the only one who is also addicted to this crazy show!! All of my friends joke me!!
I would LOVE to enter your giveaway because I seriously think I NEED this book! :)
And for my quote - one of Donna's finest moments on 90210:
"It’s like if you have a swimming pool in you backyard, you can put up a sign, you can build a fence around it, but if you know your children are gonna go in – don’t you think you are to teach those children how to swim?!"
I remember getting chills when she stood up to her mom and gave this speech at the school meeting!!! :)
Thanks for an awesome giveaway!
Glad to know there are a few other "highly educated" people who enjoy themselves some Tori.
Of course, I already own this book along with the first, so there is no need to enter me.
Some funny bizness to share, Tori style (and why I love her): exploding diarrhea in a foreign country, wet spots on the bedding, toilets that wash your a$$, and most recently poo in the pu$$.
Love it, I just can't get enough!
Would love to read this! And I already follow you. (sounds a little stalker-ish)
The Hangover:
"Whose baby is that?"
"Check its collar or something."
"We’re not going to leave a baby in the room. There’s a f***ing tiger in the bathroom."
"Shit I keep forgetting about the tiger!"
Obviously I would love to win. I'm a follower of course, and here is my favorite quotes not related to anything but from my favorite movie, old school.
"Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band ass. "
"You know I was thinking we could go back home... have some dinner and pop in the Sisqo CD... no? Weren't thinking that? Ok. "
"Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time. "
ha ha I'm laughing at my desk. Alone. I'm a loser. :)
I really like her show!
Enter me please :-D
Love this giveaway! I don't think that I could pick just one quote, but I'm absolutely in love with anything that Audrey or Grace said in their movies. It's always clever, amusing, and perfect from BAT, To Catch a Thief, Rear Window, High Society... whatever.
I admittedly loved sTori Telling, so I will probably love this as well!
sarahbcrawford(At)gmail(dot)com
Oh and I will leave a television show quote:
"DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!!"
- Beverly Hills 90210
:)
sarahbcrawford(at)gmail(dot)com
Well it might not be a movie quote, but it is something to ponder over...'Maybe the tyranny of Murphy is the penalty for Hubris.' From xkcd webcomic found here.
(A little look into my inner nerd...)
ooh I love Tori Spelling! I watch her show every week and would love to have the book!
My Quote from my fav movie!
Bridget: Did I really run round your lawn naked?
Mark Darcy: Oh, yes. You were four and I was eight.
Bridget: Well, that's a pretty big age difference. It's quite pervy really.
Mark Darcy: Yes, I like to think
It's OK. I read the Jenny McCarthy books. Ha.
Favorite new movie quote right now (inner geek surfacing...)
"So this is how liberty dies...with thundering applause."
- Star Wars III (Natalie Portman says the line)
Oohh great giveaway! I love to watch their show, Tori & Dean and would love to have this book!
OH I love some Donna Martin!! Well and anything Tori really! Here's my silly attempt at a haiku
Innocent Donna
So Glad You Could Graduate
West Beverly High
Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?
Such a great giveaway! I think Tori Spelling is hilarious and definitely want to read it. And even though I live in Hong Kong, I have a US mailing address just for things like this!
I'm secretly dying to read this.
I can't believe I'm fixing to put this on here..
Donna Martin she was
Tori Spelling she is
They are both too thin.
I love their show, I totally feel like Tori would make an awesome friend, though the random photogs that follow her might put a slight damper on things!
I read beach reads all year round for very similar reasons. The last thing I want to do when I am trying to relax and escape is to read complex literature.
I would love to read this!
Ooh, I would love to read it. I'm sure our lives are pretty much *exactly* the same.
My sleep-deprived brain can only think of this quote, which I know you must already know and love: 'I'm sensational. Everybody thinks so."
I LOVE Tori Spelling (serious day job aside, and all!).
Here's my movie quote, which I am VERY PROUD of myself for remembering considering it's so apropo here...
Elle: Because I'm not a Vanderbilt, suddenly I'm white trash? I grew up in Bel Air, Warner. Across the street from Aaron Spelling. I think most people would agree that's a lot better than some stinky old Vanderbilt!
And just while we're on the subject:
Elle: And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.
what a darling cover...too cute!
I am a beand new follower as I just found your blog via bonbon rose ...
love the book cover :)
I finished Stori Telling in a day and actually really liked it. It was entertaining and an interesting glimpse into her life. Def been eyeing Mommywood so I'd love to win it!
Will come up with something witty...I have something in mind.
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