Only after I'd skulked around those pages & sites for months did it slowly occur to me, "Hey, I might be ready to marry this man!", the one I'd been dating for one year by this point. Yes, reader - I may be Pretty, but I'm not always the swiftest to the finish line. Happily, the Anonymous Husband* proposed shortly thereafter, so I didn't think much about the timing of secretive research vs. reality.
*The guy I was ready to marry = the AH, fortunately.
Until now.
IRONY ALERT: The very blogger who warned you to stopstopstop it already and quit asking everyone, including me, about our up-to-the-minute plans to procreate, is about to venture into a discussion of those estrogen-addled waters herself. Much like someone insulting your mother, it doesn't count when you're the one doing it. So there. Nanny nanny boo boo.
Fast forward to last week, when one of those moments snuck up on me during a morning Starbucks trip. As I stood impatiently in line, already running late for work, a toddler wobbled in front of me. Her black curls akimbo, she made those "Look at me!" toddler eyes and smiled as she swung around to proudly show off her sparkly blue fairy wings.
Cue my ovaries clack clack clacking like biological castanets, tapping out in perfect time, "OMG, fairy wings! You can do this mommy thing, Mel! Don't you want a child of your very own to dress in whimsical costumes?!?" My inner reverie breaks only to note the harried mother of said toddler, who has apparently seen the fairy wings act already & grabs the girl's hand to hurry to the door.
In truth, this is one of many moments that have crept up on me over the past few months. I've honed my Nancy Drew** sleuthing skills yet again, only this time in the "parenting" bookshelves and those delightfully paranoid baby websites that tell you the 5,076,892 ways you can poison your child before he or she is actually conceived.
**I'm missing her ability to solve the crime in 150 tidily summed up pages or less, sadly, as well as the naturally "titian" hair. Sigh.
Don't mistake this admission for my telling you that the AH & I are actually trying to have a child quite yet; on the contrary, my body has gone into a sort of parenting bachelorette ("ovarette?") party in the opposite direction. Suddenly, there is no wine within a 10 mile radius that is safe from me.*** I peruse and purchase soft cheeses and sushi like a lech peering at a nudie mag. I'm compelled to plan exotic trips that cannot happen, practically speaking, if a baby is in the near future.
***Not that the wine was safe before, but you know what I mean.
Until that magical realization gradually dawns, just as it did before, you can find me with my kind friend, Pinot Noir, hoovering a brick of Brie, while I sneak around the paranoid baby websites and wait for clarity - or the inevitable "Martha Stewart Babies" magazine.
31 Comments:
Sounds like me. Especially the brie and the Pinot Noir.
I went to a toddler birthday party today. I have NO SUCH inklings.
Just blog hopping today and enjoyed reading your blog...
I am posting on our Disney trip so hope you will stop by.
Also, the June giveaway starts today...all comments left in June will be in the drawing for the "June Card Box"! You will have to go down a few posts to read about the monthly giveaway.
Happy Sunday!
i'm with slynnro. i spent the weekend with 2 year old goddaughter and her 5 year old brother. the husband and i are actually in fertility treatments and it took all my inner strength not to call my doctor immediately and tell him i quit. i'm now officially terrified.
then i got home and realized said 2 year old spilled my 60 dollar moisturizer. not only do i not want my own kids currently, but i kind of want to kill her. gah.
Ah yes. Same here.
The medical issues are just extending my "babyrette" party as Mr. Newlywed calls it.
The already outrageous consumption of "forbidden foods" has gotten even more outrageous.
Of course, I'm not one to believe in banned foods anyway...just moderation foods...
Hahaha - I just went back and read your previous posts on this. You are hilarious! I definitely think a lot about when we're going to have kids -- but I know for financial, educational, and career reasons that I will be a few years. So I totally agree with you about living it up now -- Sushi weekly and wine (almost) nightly!
LOL this happens all the time with me. I have one already and we are hoping to keep it at one, but every couple of months I'll start brooding for another one. LOL, but I don't stop drinking or planning for one really. Wait til you discover all the parenting and pregnancy magazines that come along with it too!
http://www.fabbrunette.com
I can barely even read things with the word 'baby' in it without craving more, so you've nearly done me in!
Enjoy all those delightful things while you can because the second you get knocked up you want is everything you can't have ALL the time. I spent almost a year and a half (you can't have them when you're breast feeding either) craving champagne, brie and sushi. It was rough, but the dude is worth it. : )
Have been there many a time. As soon as my ovaries start to swoon, I run into a little monster that should be the poster child for abstinence. Your body will tell you when you are ready. Mine never has. Wine, unpasteurized cheeses, raw fish all keep me going.
When Pigs Fly
I have these inklings lately too-but I can't verbalize them or I'll send our respective families into tizzies! I actually caught myself leaning over to smell a baby's head in Target the other day!
But until then, here's to brie and wine and travel. I think we'll all know when we're "ready." It's just nice to know that my heart isn't completely frozen to the idea anymore.
Also, I have to hurry since my eggs are running out. :)
Planning those exotic trips is by far the best...although soon you begin envisioning yourself, hubs and a little baby on the beaches of St. Tropez. Sigh.
Is it bad that your post has me craving a giant glass of pinot and sushi at 10am? So yummy...
I thought I wanted a baby for a second this weekend -- I was oogling it from afar while walking with my husband then I bit it, hard onto the pavement. I think that may be the universe's way of telling me "no way chicky."
I know EXACTLY what you mean! We are on the four year plan (waiting four years after our wedding date to start THINKING about kids). And we are fastly approaching year three. Lately i.e. mainly this weekend I was taking care of a friends' two year old, Addi and could help but get that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Then sitting in church Sunday the most precious little girl was sitting in front of us trying not to fall asleep and I thought..."baby fever, oh no!"
yeah I'm still on the BABY FREE boat! BUT I will take some wine and cheese!
My cure for the "when are you having babies?" talk? Run. Clearly, I can't run a marathon while pregnant (at least I certainly hope not). Ha. Has ceased the discussion. Not that we don't want children, we do, but, we aren't there yet, and damnit people shutupaboutit. Yes, I know, we're been married 4 years, yes I know my friends my age have 1 or 2. I'm aware. Thankyouallverymuch, but I will enjoy getting skinny and eating whatever I want. Then we'll debate children. After all, I have to be the skinniest person at Mommy and Me after all. Obviously.
I'm inching ever closer to that stage, yet for time being staying firmly rooted in the baby-free zone. Soon, though, soon.
yeah... having a baby on thursday and i was in tears this morning asking if we could turn back and take it all back. i was half kidding, but we're terrified. there is a tiny bit of excitement, but we're definitely scared. and i'm craving a good vacation-- we'll go on a fabulous vacay in a year and bring the little man with us!
I haven't even gotten past the Martha Stewart Weddings lurk phase of my life yet, but I felt the teeniest of tiniest motherly urge this weekend when we were at D's reunions and several people had their precious toddlers in tow. It was more of a realization that I probably just want an excuses to take two months of a la maternity leave, but methinks that's probably not the best way to go about taking some time off work--since you end up with a child and all after its all over. Nontheless, this was a great post.
and what? I was not aware that cheese was off the table when one becomes preggers...explain this to to me because if this is the case, I've got some serious re-thinking of this whole miracle of birth thing to do.
yea, I'm at the before the wedding magazine period. ha ha :) maybe one day.
Milltini, soft unpasteurized cheeses (ie, brie, triple creme, bleu) are verboten during pregnancy, lest you get listeria, which is fatal to fetuses. Same goes for lunch meats.
Mel, all I can say is that what you're feeling is extremely normal and just have another glass of wine! Of course, another glass of wine is what could lead to the next phase of your life. ;-)
My husband and I were just talking about something related yesterday. A friend of mine, who will be 37 this summer, keeps putting off having children. She and her husband are lovely and would be terrific parents, but they are not sure they want them. I don't say anything to her about it, because everyone has to make that decision for themselves. However, my husband and I agreed that there is no way to describe to people who don't have kids just how far you fall in love with your children.
You'll know when it's the right time for you and AH. Until then, have a little brie for me! ;-)
We just got back from our honeymoon/graduation trip on Sat night, and the WHOLE time we were in Spain, I was baby shopping (as in, check out that cute baby, oh isn't that toddler just adorable!). My mind is wrapped firmly around the idea (helps that I'm a pediatric nurse I suppose), but my husband is still scared. Interesting enough, he's more scared of the financial burden than he is of the actual child. We have talked some of that through, but we've still not put my ovaries to good use yet! They are precious things that require lots of work, time, and devotion, but are totally worth it.
My biggest fear is the brie/blue cheese/lunch meat campaign that the doctors are on. I can give up the wine, but brie???? For real???
You're hilarious. I'm telling you, it sneaks up on you fast. One month, I was anti-kid, the next, I had that little feeling in my tummy telling me something was missing!!! Just never say never!
Hee hee haw haw!!! "Biological castanets!" "Ovarette!" Great start to the day!
Hahaha! This happened to me the other day and scared the *ahem* out of me.
I'm 22, in a relationship but far, far, far from being married and/or planning to have kids (I want to be ohh 35 when I tie the knot and chose to procreate) but I was at the grocery store and this gorgeous blonde baby carted by me and my heart did a jump and I got this choked up feeling and suddenly all I wanted was to go cuddle a cute little baby and spoil it with clothes and coo at it.
Then I slapped myself and told myself I was 22 and I needed to stop it.
I went right to the dog clothing section and bought my chihuahua a new dress and came to my senses.
Whew.
This totally cracked me up!!! And, sadly (?), I know EXACTLY what you're feeling. It's...awkward, isn't it?
Oh the mighty, how soon they cast away their wine...
I don't know if I ever had a distinct bio-clock ticking moment, it was more like "well I guess we better do this" moment and then we did and wow, these little people are great. You'll (maybe, kinda, have a wee little inkling) know when you're ready.
I know this is SO controversial but my doctor had no problem with soft cheese, lunch meat and the occasional salmon (low mercury) sushi during the pregnancy and after. (Wine, as you can guess, was a no no). Just saying...
Oh poor you. I'll never forget the day, while watching Melrose Place of all things, that I said ok lets have baby. I had 2. At once. Cut to me 15 years later cropping grey hairs sad figure and shaking my head. They are so cute in those wings with their big toddler eyes. It's a trap of the universe to make them all look like gap ads.
At 15 while telling you off. It's like you're trapped in A Clockwork Orange and living in countdown mode.
Or maybe that's just me.
Enjoy your wine cheese and vacations for now. Don't let me scare ya!
Holy crap! I just had a kid post and ran across yours. Our biological clocks have synched.
I can totally relate. Every so often I see a cute baby or toddler and get sort of dreamy. And, then as if the universe knows what's good for me I'll see a teenager with awful hair and manners and pop another BCP.
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