Pretty Headquarters
10 Malevolence Manor
Principality of Monaco, via Austin, Texas
Shoes of Fuglinus Maximus
456 Why, Why, Why Way
Rome, Italy
Dear Sir, Madam, or Whatever Form of Address is Typically Used for Shoes:
When you crept onto my fashion radar sometime in early 2008, I was aggrieved, yet able to look the other way. As upset as I was by your strap-happy, cankle-creating schemes, I assumed that you were a trend assured of flitting back off my sartorial screen just as quickly as those MC Hammer-inspired jumpsuits we're just all going to pretend aren't happening right now. Lalalalala, you can't make me . . .
However, I'm told that it is now 2009 - 2009, A.D., that is. While I admittedly didn't major in history, if memory Wikipedia serves, the Roman Empire fell some 1,500 years ago. So riddle me this, Maximus - if indeed the Romans no longer have an empire, why must you persist in bringing back their clunky, heinous shoes?
(Credit: Neiman Marcus)
Uglius terriblus, as my 6th Grade Latin teacher might (not) have mused. Unless these insults to ankles everywhere come with Russell Crowe himself, in full "Gladiator" regalia, to lovingly attach them to my perfectly pedicured feet, I am not interested. At all.
To conclude, I fear your dogged fashion persistence much the way I feel about the ad nauseum Miss California USA World Interplanetary Takeover of Nuttiness coverage: it must come to an end, right now. Rightus nowus?
Historically Yours,
With apologies to my 6th Grade Latin Teacher,
28 comments:
I am glad you are also not a fan of those things.
I hate them...and I seriously wish they would fade into the fashion forgotten...NOW.
Those are fugly. And they make the wearer look like she has cankles. Even if she really doesnt. Bah!
AMEN!!! For the love of god, why are these things not gone already?!?!???
May I co-sign this? Seriously, I thought those heinous things would die out last season, and was shocked to see them back in the stores this year. When in Rome? Oh, I think not.
AMEN girl. EVERYONE around here wears them and I'm so over them. My roommate told me they are HUGE in Australia too, she just went there on vacation and said it was so annoying to see everyone wearing them. I tried on a few pairs to see if they could ever even possibly work, and as suspected, they were hideous and made me look like a weird hobbit. Not acceptable!
Yes, I'm definitely not a fan. I like delicate, pretty shoes....not a chunky hideousness excuse for sandals.
What an absolutely fab blog you have!
This made me laugh out loud, natch. I see models and celebs wearing them (yeah, Gwynnie, I'm looking at you) and I think maybe it's because they have such skinny ankles to begin with...but they look awful on 'normal' folks. I wouldn't even begin to try to wear them. You're right - they're fug.
hahahah! i COMPLETELY agree. as if my calves didn't look big enough already!
So awful. They are in the same category as slouchy shoe booties for me...regrettable.
They are terrible! And I refuse to partake in such a hideous trend!
As for the Miss California coverage. Please will they end it already? Or at least admit that such a politically charged question should never have been asked of any contestant, ever!
love the latin flair--sadly, i must admit that i own the most TASTEFUL pair of gladiator sandals that i could find out there last season. i'm not updating them this year--but i promise, they are tasteful ;-)
I cannot get on board with them--for me at least. I'm barely 5 feet tall and I have big feet for my height, let's not draw extra attention to my clodhoppers and make me look like I'm all cankles and whatnot. But, some of the less big and bulky gladiator sandals can look great on the right person. Key phrase here, "the right person". Are you reading this over the top trend follower office mate of mine??
I'm with you. Unless Mr. Crowe is in them, it's a no-go!
I have a pair of Jessica Simpson's that are much more toned down than the ones in the picture. I really like them with a long flowy casual dress. But, I love your post...that's hilarious!
ugh...i hate them, too! my ankles aren't perfect and beautiful, so they wouldn't look great on me and i think they're generally masculine looking.
Hahaha! I so agree!
they are just so WEIRD looking. i have seen about 2 pairs that i actually like. i will be glad when they go out.
Sorry... but I do disagree a little, while I don't like the type seen in your picture, I do rather like the toned down versions. I picked up some from Target for under $20 and enjoy them. I prefer the simple version without all the bells, whistles, tassels, rhinestones, etc.
Thank you! I so thought they would die last year and am perturbed that they have been resurrected yet another spring/summer season. Urgh.
AMEN Sister!!!
I got some strappy wedges that are slightly gladiatorially inspired in some way, but at least they're wedged, and not ugly - say yes to inspiration from the past and no to direct copies, at least from the gladiators!
Maybe I'm just jealous since my cankles are ugly enough on their own without shoes to make them look worse, but I hate gladiators!
Hear, hear! Let's banish them to the lion cage!
Good gravy! I totally agree. I think they are horrible!
Gladiator sandals are horrible. I saw a woman wearing a mix between gladiator sandals and boots the other day. I think this trend is mutating on us.
I really dislike the ones you showed, however I own a pair of *cute* white ones and they are way more preppy than roman soldiers kind. They are cute!
They will not go away!! Thank you for saying something. As for the MC Hammer pants, the designer who chose to bring them back should be placed in jail.
Despite an undergraduate degree in both latin AND greek (can you spell u-s-e-l-e-s-s?), I cannot stand them either. I've had to throw my love of all things classical out the window on this one. I will say, however, that I have seen them look good on some people - just not people that look like me!
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