Pretty Headquarters
10 Malevolence Manor
Principality of Monaco, via Austin, Texas
March 31, 2009
Tory Burch Upper East Side HQ
456 Please Don't Screw This Up Street
New York, New York
Dear HRH Tory:
Like that glorious VH1 show of old, I love the '80s. If I'm driving a car, Wham! and Def Leppard are likely involved. If I'm gazing into my closet, a small (albeit ashamed) part of me misses those neon blazes of glory known as puffy paint shirts. If I hadn't met the Anonymous Husband, I'd still be gazing earnestly out my window, waiting for Jake Ryan to slowly drive up*.
*Best. Scene. Ever.
Although your provenance does not extend back to that storied time of slap bracelets, Tory, my ardor for you is nearly as strong. You manage to make clothes both classic yet not boring, traditional but also modern. Your clothes reference the past, but are not entirely beholden to a certain era as it is with so many of your counterparts.
Which is why I'm so perplexed by these:
(Credit: Saks)
Like, these are SO not tubular. Not tubular at all. In fact, I'd trade you my circa 1987 Madonna cassette tape** if you can tell me why I should pay $95 for a pair of jelly shoes that would have set me back one week's allowance in Huey Lewis' day.
**"True Blue", the best
HRH T, we have a good thing going here. I adore your clothes. You look very nice, if a tad perfect and thin; naturally I prefer to keep those designations to myself, but I will be generous here - particularly if you'd like to underwrite this blog. No? In any event, let's stop this silliness now. Be warned, if need be I will break out my personal, entirely punitive "Living on a Prayer" rendition, because I - and Jon Bon Jovi, presumably - take fashion seriously . . .
Warily Yours,
Legallyblondemel
22 comments:
i can't get into the jellies either. and i love that tory burch... just not loving the jellies.
i can get into some thoughts of jake ryan, though. maybe i should name baby boy that. jake ryan carroll?
I saw those a couple of weeks ago and was perplexed as well. And perhaps you saw my Twitlink a few weeks back regarding these gems:
http://tinyurl.com/chmq45
That's one aspect of the 80s that I would like to keep buries (along with jelly shoes). There should honestly be a law against bringing back such horror.
BTW, I obviously don't know how to create links in your comment box. I'm sorry!
HUGE DITTO to Erin at Blue Eyed Bride...i just can't get into jellies!
Oh Miss Pretty, thank you for doing this on our behalf, but it had to be said. Someone had to speak on our behalf.
What were they thinking?! Honestly.
tp
PS: You are probably not going to be happy with tomorrow's post!
i am always wary (is that how you spell wary, i have no idea) of any designer who depends upon a logo for their entire line. it is like you slap a tory burch symbol, a gucci g, etc, and girls will flock to it. no matter what. it drives me a bit nuts. just bc it is designer doesn't make it good looking.
but i have to admit. i still own a pair of pink jellies that i bought in college for a "pink to drink" theme party. i wore them around a bit. that is, until a damn rock got into the bottom just as they did as a child. but i think there somewhere in my very mature dress up box that i raid on a monthly basis.
You have such a pretty blog! :)
Such bad shoes...as in completely unforgivable and not even the best wine will remove the image of them from your brain.
Just awful.
agreed.
Stop it! Stop it! You are killing me! Next is Tori going to create jelly bracelets too? What is this world coming to! I guess I'll just go listen to Duran Duran or Culture Club and try to accept this!
-GSG
http://GrannySmithGreen.blogspot.com
I don't think they are cute, but even if I did? The potential for feet stink? GAH.
hahaha I love this post and I completely agree! Who would want to wear Jellies again...I remember getting the worst blisters from them!
Nearly $100 for jelly shoes?! Even in an homage to 80s excess, that is crazy!
Agreed. Plus I know that my feet would sweat so much in those! Ewwww. Sorry if that is TMI!
Ewwww... who is working for them now? That is all kinds of fugly.
I love Tory flats.... and my riding boots, but some of her stuff is hideous!! I hear ya! xoxo
DUDE I am wearing my revas right now and these are SHAMEFUL. Thanks for pointing it out... tory, tory, tory, i'm giving you a FAIL.
Too funny...and all too true. Couldn't agree more! Thanks for being the voice of all of us in Blogland.
So true and wise. Besides, I have kind of a weird phobia of jellies anyway, so I felt I wasn't being totally objective in my dislike!
Um...Tory darling, I will not participate. That shoe is pure foolishness.
Seriously yuck.
Ugh.
Post a Comment