Valentine's Gifts, Anti-Martha Style

You might be surprised to learn that I, mistress of bemused detachment, am a Valentine's Day believer.  It's true.  My icily cool demeanor is nicely counterbalanced by my being generally high-maintenance and specifically fond of being spoiled.  So I find February 14th, like all of its Hallmark brethren, to be a most festive occasion.

In a futile stab at self-defense, I will confess that I don't demand that these holidays entirely conform to Hallmark stereotype.  For example, I prefer tulips or orchids to red roses.  I'm the very model of modest expectations, no?

I also muchly, greatly, snark-asidely enjoy buying gifts for other people.  And while the Anonymous Husband has called his gift-worthiness into question as of late - I still can't quite get over the fact that none of you dear blogfriends exist - he's legitimately had a stressful week or five, hence my determination this year to find him a worthy Valentine's Day present.

The term "find", versus "make" or "create via my internal design genius", is a deliberate one.  As this post title might suggest, much as I sincerely adore that cranky matron of Good Things, I am the anti-Martha.  It is entirely beyond me to come up with adorably adorned Valentine's creations like the fabulous Mojito Maven did.  Unfortunately, I break out in spiritual hives in crafty stores like Hobby Lobby, although I did once use an Exact-O knife to cut the foil from a wine bottle.  To conclude - a domestic goddess I'm not, but I strive to overcome that with stunning good looks, vodka, and the occasionally cool present in various uncool states of gift-wrap.

*****THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY AH "DO YOU ACTUALLY READ MY BLOG?" SYSTEM!  ANONYMOUS HUSBAND, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER UNTIL FEBRUARY 15TH! NOT THAT YOU READ THIS ANYWAYS - I DON'T THINK - BUT, ANYWAYS!!********

So for my Valentine this year, I decided to go with something catering to travel and electronics fun, both being high on the AH list.  Thanks to new blogfriend Maggie, from whom I happily stole this idea:

The Bose noise-cancelling headphones are pricey, but also supremely wonderful if you spend any amount of time on planes. Because you can no longer get leg-room, pretzels, or customer service on a domestic US flight, but you can drown out that chatty seatmate who wants to set you up with her nephew's pharmacist.  I can also vouch for the incredibly quick service on the Bose website, and this has absolutely nothing to do with my procrastinating this year and waiting until two days ago to order a present.  Nothing at all, la la la la.

And since Smug Couple types shouldn't have all of the Valentine's fun, here is my Valentine's favorite from my single days & to send to friends now when I get my Pretty act together (ie, not this year):

These wee cards are the opposite of homemade, but they are the very sort we all used to give and receive in grade school, and they therefore thaw my arctic heart.  A little.

Awesome, right?  Hopefully my mystery Valentine's Day - which will include such highly romantic things like car shopping - turns out just as unicorns-and-rainbows filled.  For those of you who also believe in these types of Hallmark shenanigans, what sorts of fantastical things do you have planned for Valentine's Day?