Pretty Headquarters
10 Malevolent Manor
Principality of Monaco, via Austin, Texas
February 10, 2009
Principality of Monaco, via Austin, Texas
February 10, 2009
Tiffany & Co.
456 Stop Catering to the Teenagers St.
New York, NY 10666
Dear Tiffany:
It pains us to direct our Icy Glare in your direction, old friend. Truly. So much so that we're bringing out the Royal We* for support.
*And lots of Capital Letters!! Wacky!
However, when you inundate our virtual and actual mailbox with this sort of thing, We are forced to set aside any Little Blue Box loyalties and say . . .
456 Stop Catering to the Teenagers St.
New York, NY 10666
Dear Tiffany:
It pains us to direct our Icy Glare in your direction, old friend. Truly. So much so that we're bringing out the Royal We* for support.
*And lots of Capital Letters!! Wacky!
However, when you inundate our virtual and actual mailbox with this sort of thing, We are forced to set aside any Little Blue Box loyalties and say . . .
. . . DUDE.In all seriousness, T, we realize that Valentine's Day is Upon Us and all, but this selling sterling silver advertisements of yourself must stop. When you as a brand cease making me desire to breakfast iconically in front of your store, and instead inspire me to nearly lose that same meal, something has gone horribly, disturbingly awry. Let's take a look, shall we?
It's 2009 now, T. Even Elle Woods - that Pretty Heroine who inspired countless professional, independent yet feminine women everywhere to run out and buy the exact same Tiffany heart necklace** as one another - would be the first to admit when a certain blinged-out, It Bag, logo-crazy zeitgeist has passed. That time, we fear, is now.
**S'OK, everyone did it. I have some of it too. No need to hide. XOXO!
Because, at this very moment in time, many of us might not choose to be Returned to Tiffany***; returning to an actual job tomorrow sounds rather nice, actually. Health insurance, buying a car, worrying about my - ahem, Our - active military brother possibly being sent to Iraq - these are things I'd like to advertise on behalf of at the moment.
***If, however, this showed up at Pretty HQ, I might be willing to reconsider . . .
To conclude, T, we're not asking for a breakup as we did with our former flame, Coach**. Quite the opposite, actually - we wear a number of your more - what's the word for it - subtle pieces daily, and have enthusiastically encouraged others to do the same here. It's just that . . . Tiffany, at this be-logoed moment . . . We're Just Not That Into You.
Mournfully Yours,
Miss Pretty,
Pretty HQ, February 2009
Miss Pretty,
Pretty HQ, February 2009
20 comments:
How great would it be if we rounded up all of the people wearing this type of jewlery and dumped them in front of T&C's door? I still own my own version - the "single girl's price tag" bracelet - but it's hidden away in the nether-regions of my jewelry box. And I suspect I'll get rid of it soon since it's from an ex and not my husband.
You know, I don't own a single piece of Tiffany. This must make me some kind of yuppie freakshow. I do, however, own Yurman. So there's that.
P.S. Have I mentioned that I absolutely ADORE you and posts like this..
You are amazing...please come to Dallas soon!!!
ha, fantastic post. i couldn't agree with you more.
Whereas I cannot claim to not own a single piece of Tiffany jewelry (uh, hello, it's TIFFANY'S! Love it!), I do feel a little smug that I haven't seen too many people with the pieces that I do have. I don't own a single T & Co. ID or Return to where ever item. Now, whether that's because I couldn't afford any of those other pieces back in the day, never received any such pieces from suitors, past or present (Ralph Lauren style hubby, remember...), or thought it would clash with those brown birkenstocks that were all the rage when I was at UW, that's beside the point. Honestly, though, I never was too into that genre of silverware.
In defense of those overpaid advertising agencies that Tiffany's surely uses, I postulate that given these downtrodden economic times, Tiffany's target demographic are those Isla Fischer types who want a bit of the pretty without breaking the bank. Although I too agree that it's time has passed, maybe we all should recall that feeling that we got when we opened our first pretty blue box and be a little kinder to those who's time has come, even if it's a little bit late.
Given that, I still say, bring on the blue boxes.
How true. Sad, but true. And funny! Same with Coach. When brands vomit logos all over everything, it gets to be too much. Hopefully a new, more understated trend is in the works!
I love your letter posts.
I don't think I have worn my Tiffany's necklace like that since freshman year of college during rush...when well, let's be honest, everyone did.
We just got our wedding bands at Tiffany - and they're lovely, but I do think they may have forgotten who their audience is... or maybe they haven't... if you want to make money, you'll go sell your stuff where the kids are! I'm sure every 12 year old prima donna on the upper east side owns this jewelry!
I may own that neckalce at the bottom right... And, I may have worn it 2 days ago. Maybe. But! No one knows it's Tiffany because you can't read the damn thing anyway... I do love me a good piece of Tiffany jewelry (my stud earrings given as a sweet 16 from my former nanny, my heart bracelet that they don't even make anymore... Love those), and my parents may have bought me many a Return to Tiffany, because the saleslady told them it was "popular" (damn her).... But, I still love my stud earrings, my non Tiffany-Tiffany pieces the best... But, nothing beats that little blue box.
I couldn't agree more. My boyfriend calls people who wear them HOODRICH! I feel the same with almost Any designer bag now,too. If you can buy them at a "purse party" I don't want anything to do with it. (although Coach (certified) had a great patent blue bag I loved not too long ago.
I still love Marc Jacobs,and Botkier (who sells at Target now!!!), but with this recession,I havent been doing as much designer shopping for bags...and if there is a logo really noticable on it, these days it's vintage for me.
Women are like men looking for sex, when it comes to shopping. If it is easy to attain, and everyone has had it or can fake that they have...it isnt as appealing to us.Designers should realize this.But its all about mass distribution now,and whats in demand.
Amen! Tacky to have brand id scrawled all over yourself I feel like. Now for a moment of hypocracy - check out my blog where I've sold my soul and I'm now doing sponsored posts.
http://www.thewaspyredhead.com
Today I'm giving away a vintage inspired apron.
Oh wow...again, your posts are AMAZING.
hear hear!
I was all about Tiffany until she started popping up on strippers. There should be a sign on the door that says "We refuse the right to serve you if you wear clear-heeled shoes to work, your acrylic nails prevent you from typing, and your name ends in IE."
And if Elle Woods wouldn't approve, you know I can't approve!
www.aduckinherpond.com
I adore these posts, and I must say with my snooty nose held high I never bought into the heart tag, return to... jewelry. I've always been a fan of classic pieces and these are well... less than classic.
In response to your comment... A Valentine's surprise? How very charming, I big puffy heart surprises in the most obnoxious way.
This is just a fabulous post Miss Pretty, as you know how we feel about the issue. Just looking at the images has triggered a horrid flare-up of Logophobia.
tp
Great post! I admit to owning more than a few pieces of silver heart Tiffany jewelry, but I received them well before they became ubiquitous in junior highs across the nation. I even purchased heart necklaces for my nieces when they turned 13. They were thrilled with their first Tiffany blue boxes, and I was probably almost as excited to be giving them their first Tiffany gifts. Hmm, maybe I should give them my old silver logo pieces. However, I will never, never, ever part with my white gold Cartier Love bracelet!
Killing me here... This is brilliantly done. I detest logos to the point that I shun several brands of great jeans because of the oversized and overflashy ad space they place on my ass, do not own a single shirt or sweater with any sort of emblem much LESS a word, etc. Cannot deal with logos. Tiffany logos? Blech.
So true!
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