Another motivation to keep the j-o-b talk to a minimum is my sincere wish not to besmirch the glorified, As Seen on TV version of the lawyer life (insert jokes here), that vaunted unicorn-and-rainbow universe filled with stirring speeches and defending the Constitution and bespoke suits. Not that I think you wise people really believe any of that, but it appears American TV writers do. Whether it be Tom Cruise bombastically EMOTING at Jack Nicholson in "A Few Good Men" (admittedly not TV, but appearing on cable enough to merit an exception) or the wacky dramedys like "Boston Legal" or "Ally McBeal", those odes to eccentricity that seem just incidentally set in law firms, I'm usually willing to overlook the outlandish errors and misrepresentations* in order to keep our rep (stop laughing) intact.
*Except for "Law & Order". Don't even go there.
There are times, however, when credulity is strained such that I cannot remain silent. I'm talking ridiculous on the level of, say, that Jonas Brother attempting to claim he doesn't use a flat iron** ***, or Cameron Diaz asserting that no, she actually didn't have time in the 6 months prior to the Golden Globes to get her roots done/ dress ironed/ makeup on. And so I bring you the next legal drama in the pipeline as starring . . . Hilary Duff:
**Men? Flat irons?? NO.
***Why, why do I know who the Jonas Brothers are??
(Credit: Entertainment Weekly)
The network has ordered a script for "Barely Legal," a comedy based on the true story of Kathleen Holtz, who in 2007 passed the notoriously difficult California bar at age 18 to become the state's youngest lawyer.
That sound? Is the remaining live bit of my soul crinkling up like so much tinfoil. What crazy legal hijinks do we think Lizzie McGuire here can get up to in her 1/2 hour time slot? Romantic rendevouz (rendevousez? rendevouzeii?) behind the file clerk's office, with Jonas Brothers' music sweetly playing in the background?
Raise your hand if you and your j-o-b (unpaid jobs included!) suffer the same TV-fied fate. What are the most laughable misrepresentations you've seen? Bonus points if your answer involves flat irons or boy bands . . .