Having seen and heard from a number of you & my non-bloggy friends, it would appear that many of us are fielding the same
So I propose a strategy . . . I'm foolish, but not so much so that I think a boycott of the age-old question is going to get us anywhere. Thousands of years of bad behavior + reality TV culture = we're just not going to avoid it. And as much as I'd like us to have some sort of handy team uniform to succinctly convey our message - say nice jeans, plus a J. Crew cashmere crew-neck sweater emblazoned with helpful arrows pointing to our ladybits that proclaims:
"YES, THAT IS MY UTERUS! IT IS UNOCCUPIED AT THE MOMENT AND FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE, BUT THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST!"
Can't you just picture it - maybe in a shell-pink, loopy cursive?. . . I realize that this might encourage, as opposed to discourage, the questions. Hmmm.
Maybe instead of a Team Uniform, anticipating the future questions might help. Because if we can't beat the pushy questioners, at least we can have a few years to concoct a politely snarky retort. I took a look at THE Question - and there always is one, isn't there? - as it has evolved over my past 10 years to see if we could detect a pattern. Looking back, here's what the 10 year retrospective looks like:
Age 21: "Vodka or tequila shot?"
(Hint: Choose vodka. You can thank me later.)
(Double Hint: The questions grow more onerous from here. See Hint #1.)
Age 22: "Law school (fill in grad school of choice here)? Have a job lined up yet?"
Age 23: "Law school? Have a job lined up yet?"
Age 24: "Law school? Have a job lined up yet?"
Age 25 (as receiving diploma): "When are you getting married?"
Age 26: "When are you getting married?"
Age 27 : "When are you getting married?"
Age 28: "When are you getting married?"
Age 29: "When are you two newlyweds having kids?"
Age 30: "When are you two newlyweds having kids?"
Age 31: "When are you two newlyweds having kids?"
What do we think comes next here? "When are you having your next child?" "Have you submitted your union fees & soul to the local Mommy Mafia?"
Or should we just stick to the matching J. Crew sweaters?
26 comments:
Seriously!!! Do you think that we could possible get my MIL on board with this because I am over hearing her ask me these questions!
I would order two of the sweaters in case I have to see different sets of family members during the same weekend!!
Seriously, it's crazy that we all deal with this!!
As of late I need a flag for my house!! 3 of the 5 neighbors I hang out with are preggers and one just had a baby... ugh!!
Great post though - you totally made my night with it!!
I hear you sister. I literally hear of a new couple getting pregnant every week. I told my hubby to please not talk about my uterus with other people. We're 28 and I feel too young and too immature to have kids.
my wedding hasn't even happened yet and people are already pressuring me about when we will have kids. it is very frustrating and i feel a bit invasive. what if i was infertile or something? or if we were against kids? so annoying.
Add to the mix, if you've declared you don't want children. "You're young, you'll change your mind. Changed your mind yet?"
Ahh I need one of these sweaters, except I need one for us single girls that reads "Yes I'm a college graduate with a good job, no I'm not getting married anytime soon, and no I'm not planning on popping out babies and quitting my job once I am."
And when you are pregnant, you get questions like:
"Is your husband disappointed that you aren't having a boy?"
"Will you (insert very personal question regarding how babies are born, or how they are fed)?"
It is starting to get on my nerves! Maybe companies should offer manners training in addition to sexual harassment/sensitivity training?
I'll take a sweater. Add to those quesstions "Age 40: Don't you think you should have kids soon given your age?"
In light of that perhaps we can agree on a team adult diaper too? Because clearly, I'm nearly dead.
My husband and I have two girls. Here are some obnixious follow up questions that we've fielded... 1)Is your youngest daughter adopted? She doesn't look anything like her sister. Immediately followed by 2)Are your girls twins? 3)Why did you have them so close together? 4)(this one is from my former boss)don't you guys use birth control?
Imagine answering these questions in front of your kids. I was ready to start carrying DNA testing around with me to prove we didn't adopt our youngest daughter. Not that there is anything wrong with adoption but please...why would you ask that?
And while this is not a question, it's still obnoxious. NEVER rub a pregnant woman's stomach unless you are her husband or possibly her mother, even then you are pushing it. It's not a good luck charm. People need to stop with the questions.
Sign me up for a light blue sweater.
And I don't want to see anymore christening pictures on Facebook.
Thanks.
you are a piece of work in the very best way possible...hilarious!
I just busted out laughing!
My friend just told me that her MIL asked her the "question," and she said at the top of her voice in the grocery store "YOU REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY UTERUS? FINE. LET'S TALK ABOUT IT."
It shut her MIL up...quickly.
I LOVE this post!! I promise you that I get asked "When are you getting married?!" like 4 times a day! Sign me up for the sweater!!!!
i think we should create gang signs. so we can pick each other out in a crowd. there. that's my brilliant idea for the day - check!
oh, and i am all about future San-An stories... most of them include my dear patrons and co-workers at TxLC - therefore, they are super-classy. and the infamous puke-bar? Baker Street.
Oh, we are on board for a sweater, yes indeedy! It really is amazing what people will say to you, sometimes we just shake our head. Other times we wish we were half as witty as Kate and Mrs. Newlywed!
Great post Miss Pretty!
tp
Gawd, yes. And yes, the next question after you have a child is when you are going to have another one. And when you get pregnant with your second child, it's whether you're "trying" for the opposite gender of your first child.
It never. never. ends.
Love the Questions. I get The Children Question from friends and family--not co workers, because they believe that no one needs children. Hmmm. And we all know that I want babies. Although, our current answer is "It's just not financially feasible" (which it really isn't!) to which Student Loan and Single Income Friends will answer "Ohhh, you can MAKE it work." That may be true, but, I have a very expensive Target habit, need my pricey makeup and demand I re-decorate my bedroom at least twice a year. I don't see that changing. Hmph. Besides, what is a Fabulous Mommy without all those things? I cannot be expected to give up those things and still be Fabulous Mommy, can I?
Those questions will never end. NEVER!!
Hmmm....do I ask people those questions? Hahaa!
Don'cha love how they jump from the married to the kids question? Um, how about we wait until we have something to PUT the kids in. Like a house. With lots of soundproof doors.
Age 33: (from my dad) You shouldn't wait too long to have kids. If you get too old, they'll come out retarded.
I want four of those shirts please. And a frying pan to hit the questioning dopes on the head with.
I have nothing witty to add. I am however completely on your team with this one. Being a 28 year old bride (which I never thought was over the hill) I am SO COMPLETLY OVER having people tell me how good it is that we're FINALLY getting married since I'm getting to such an advanced age. Seesh people. So classy.
Okay, so even though I have a child, am trying to have another, and those around me know we're trying for baby number two, I could use the sweater. It will be perfect to somewhat hide the tummy that all* women have 5 days postpartum when visited by a "couples friend's" wife who flatly states: you still look pregnant! (No joke. This really happened to me.) Uh. Thanks. Now please leave, preferably in a casket. *Heidi Klum apparently is the exception.
that is the most on the point analysis of all the questions ever. I just graduated law school and have been dating the bf for 5 years, and moving. so what new job will you get, who will you live with and when will you get married are asked so much I think I now just start convos with parent's friends as, yes, good to see you, and yep, still dating andrew,and I have no idea when he intends to pop that question, how was your day? will you please set up this sweater for everyone to buy
Oh my gosh yes! The sweater, so hilarious. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked all those questions, and you're right they never end.
When people get terrible nosy I just wink at them and tell them they'll be the first to know, and then I go on and on about my new favorite martini. Usually stops them in their tracks.
It is very true that no one can let you enjoy the stage you're in without trying to usher you on to the next thing! Hubby and I felt the same way about all of it too. Annoying!
I will take two of these sweaters! My MIL is the worst. She cannot stop talking about grandchildren.
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