Gone Shoppin'

(Because by now you've probably deduced that the usual "Gone Fishin'" doesn't apply here. I prefer my peaceful views of water to be accompanied by a lounge chair, trashy magazines excellent book, and swim-up bar.)

Pretty Headquarters is temporarily relocating for a fantastic mini-break full of: (1) if you ask me, a long weekend of Varsity-level shopping, theater-going, and wining and dining (to include the best hot chocolate ever for which I once traipsed across the Park and oh was it so worth it YUM YUM YUM); or (2) if you ask the anonymous husband, football-watching and wining-dining.

So I'm off to act like a silly tourist and simply enjoy spending time with the truly wonderful AH and avoid my computer and plan plan planning my life, all the while remembering to be grateful for these times that he and I have right now; speaking of, thank you, readers, for your nice comments to that post. And while we're on the subject of nice, I hope you all have a truly excellent weekend and fun Halloween.

PS - For those of who concerned about HRH Pug's welfare - and why wouldn't you be, given the landmine strewn Danger Zone (cue the Kenny Loggins song) he apparently lives in . . . he is staying here with his Staff, much as I'd prefer to bring him with and go traipse around the Plaza (which in my imagination is just as it once was) Eloise style . . .

(credit: Wikipedia)

Signs You're No Longer Dating - Multiple Choice Exam, Part I

Please circle the answer that does not belong in each set; bonus points awarded for gratuitous explanation of selected answer.

1) The first sign that you no longer in that impressing one another, unicorns-and-rainbows dating phase is. . .

a) You wear sweats and/or worn, smelly college shirts in front of one another without apology;

b) You're able to mention your future and/or current children in front of one another without hearing the distant hoofbeats of the Four Horsemen of the Things Guys Don't Want To Hear Apocalypse;

c) You not only discuss in great detail your own, your pets', and/or your kids' bodily functions with one another, you also assign cutesy names to said functions such as "tinkle" or "toot";

d) Toot? Tinkle? Sweatpants? You'd never admit such things to your closest friends, let alone your (sigh) Mr. Wonderful / Mrs. Wonderful.

2) When your significant other calls and asks, "Hey, what did you make for dinner?", your first reaction is:

a) "Aaaaa! I'd better run to the store right now. What was that emergency casserole Mom used to make? I wonder if Mr. Wonderful / Mrs. Wonderful likes this one."

b) "Bwahahahaha!"

c) "Oh, crap, I forg . . . I mean, I actually think it's incumbent upon you to bring dinner home. Remember that time 3 years ago when you forgot my birthday? Right, I didn't think so."

d) "How does ordering a pizza sound?"

My Dog Ate My Battery

As in, my AAA real-life battery that powers my remote control - or rather, one of the 5,000 remote controls here at Pretty HQ thanks to the Anonymous Husband.

(Envision a battery instead of a bone, a grown woman shrieking guiltily in the background, and an equally blase dog, and you'll get the picture.)

First, let me say the dog is 100%, completely, absolutely well and fine. His owner, notsomuch, but the actual canine is the picture of health. Listen, I called the emergency vet and do dog rescue and stuff and my dog has an actual Staff that I myself envy and nooo, that is not my terrible dog-mother guilty conscience talking. Aaaaaaaaa.

Second, is there an entrance exam for the parenting of an actual human child? Because I'm a bit concerned about the practical skills portion of my test. Not - NOT! - that I am comparing a dog to a kidlet! I am not, so please don't think I'm belittling you or something! Exclamation point! Ahem. Just saying that similar fears may apply regarding how to avoid, by means of completely random example, getting absorbed in blog reading for 5 whole minutes only to find one's only pet or child chewing on an acid-filled batteryohmyeverlivingGodhowdidthathappen. You know, the average day.

As that inimitable Bridget Jones might say - doom. Doooooooooooooom.

Cashmere At The Republic

Lately I've felt as though I've been cheating a bit on my original non-designer clothes love, Banana Republic, in favor of the clever marketing team at J. Crew. Granted, J. Crew keeps coming out with things like this, so I consider the defection to be wholly merited, but nonetheless, I've felt the need throw a little love in BR's way.

So consider my delight upon the weather here in Texas FINALLY complying with a dip below 80 degrees - it would seem our little winter coat experiment succeeded, ladies! - and BR's simultaneous roll-out of its' fall cashmere line. None of these are going to take the fashion world by storm, but they are solid basics for either work or casual wear that I'll be adding to my internet-sale stalking list (credit: all photos Banana Republic):

"BR Monogram Cashmere Color-Block Sweater Dress" (say that fast three times) - As far as I can deduce, "BR Monogram" is code for "We' d like to charge you more for the exact same items", but I've fallen for this ensemble despite the price tag. From the Jackie-esque sunglasses to the model's snooty expression to the neckline detail, this is every inch a Pretty ensemble. I am even willing to overlook the potentially unflattering bubble hem - or will be when my mental trickery somehow persuades BR to put this on sale from the current $225 . . .


"Cashmere 3/4 Sleeve Boatneck Sweater"- a wonderful basic in both on-trend and classic colors and nice button detailing along the neckline. Additionally, Miss Hips here thanks you, BR, for so often remembering to do figure-flattering cuts like the boatneck. This one is priced competitively ($160) with the J. Crew cashmere staples, so we shall see who goes on sale first . . .

"Cashmere Argyle Sweater" - To any Power Preps reading this, I have a confession to make - I have a bit of a problem at times with argyle. There, I said it. It started with a particularly unfortunate sweater vest my grandfather used to golf in, and ever since, I've had mixed feelings about it. However, I can confidently support this argyle, which again has the flattering boatneck cut and comes in deliciously feminine colors like this berry.

"Cashmere T-Shirt" - again, no revolutionizing design here, but this is a great basic to have in both classic and on-trend colors, with a flattering wide waistband to boot. At $120, this is am appealing cashmere deal ("cashmeal?").

Expect more cold weather wear finds to come, as I revel in this delectably breezy 3 minutes of fall we get here . . .

Label Amnesty Day

After last week's navel gazing about how our (yuppie, here) external appearances can inadvertently label us, a comment today started me thinking about how the internal stuff - meaning personality traits - can lead to labeling as well. I can just hear you thinking now, "WHOA, Miss Pretty, what a revolutionary concept - people make sweeping generalizations about us based on our personalities, even unfairly sometimes? Really????" What Captain Pretty Obvious here - can you just picture the sparkly pink cape - is actually getting at is when people historically tend to take one aspect of your personality & wrap that one trait up in a tidy little bow of fill-in-the-blank personality generalization, much to that someone's (ie, my) annoyance. OK, also not a novel concept, but have I mentioned how much this can flap one's usually unflappable, delicately feminine sensibilities?*

*I'm referring here to those labels people actually mention in front of you, as opposed to those mentioned when you're not in the room. I'm entirely certain there are more than a few out-of-room labels I personally enjoy along the lines of "*$&%^!", and I am very happy to blithely ignore those here and go about our usually merry business tralalalala . . .

Anywhoo . . . in my case, it's the "reserved" label I can't quite seem to shake. "Reserved" as in "You're quiet and shy". Yes, yes - "reserved" can mean positive things like not being overly familiar with people, or a previously engaged table at a fancy restaurant. However, in my head it always comes across as "social outcast" and "prefers books to people" and "snooty and smugly judgmental". Like most things, the label stings because it is partially true; as a Recovering Introvert (click on that only if you want to see my at my most Hallmark moment-y) my version of outgoing is an extrovert on . . . what's a bad day for an extrovert? 24 hours of mandatory silence? . . . but it's absolutely something that I am aware of and am usually trying to work on. That is, except for the times when I really do feel like being snooty and judgmental reading a book, and even the extroverts amongst us have those moments, don't we?

So in honor of being annoyed with generalizations that haunt us, I hereby declare this Label Amnesty Day here at Pretty HQ. Not to get all "Oprah" on you - but allow me to do just that - let's burn those labels, like those photos of my sixth-grade perm I'll never admit to having.

What labels have followed you around? Is it something you like about yourself, or something you're hoping to change? Is it something you actually can change even if you want to?

Preptastic Find - Vintage Monogram Jewelry

To counterbalance the heinous Target shoes I recently covered here, as well as my football and action-movie laden weekend du testosterone, I bring you these Pretty treats hot off the November "In Style" magazine presses. Yet another sign that prep is on its way back?

(credit: Delicate Raymond and In Style Magazine)

See the teeth-achingly adorable Carrie Underwood & necklace from Delicate Raymond in top right corner. In addition to her jewelry, may I also order her impossibly perfect hair?

(credit: Delicat e Raymond)

Behold the "Vintage Monogram Necklace", 14-kt gold-filled, $165. Not to endlessly invoke "Sex and the City" - except that I basically spent 5 years of life watching little else, so please bear with me - but this very much reminds me of what Charlotte's classic take on the ubiquitous "Carrie" nameplate necklace would have been. Love the pearl detail and delicate chain AND the reasonable price tag. Not sure where the "vintage" comes from, but I'm not one to let an overused adjective get in the way of a fashion find.

(credit: Delicate Raymond)

Alternatively, I also adore this chunky gold bracelet version for $275. Something about the bigger gold pieces seems right for Fall '08, but the monogram bit transcends the trend.

Merry weekend to all, and to all a good night . . .

Target v. J. Crew Smackdown: More Shoes

Alas, we suspected that our recent good fortune with the designer Target collections (and stint in speaking in the first person) was drawing to a close. Call it a hunch, but after relishing in discount cuteness with the recent Anya Hindmarch and Mossimo collections, we just knew a stinker was en route. Sure enough, our worst fears were confirmed today when we personally inspected the new Sigerson Morrison shoe line. Actually, that's not true; our worst fears run more along the lines of Mister Clooney depriving the world of his iconic beauty (if not his endless political opinions), but that's a subject for a different post - er, love you, Anonymous Husband! Moving right along - the design, the quality = all bad. Let's take a look at the hard evidence, shall we?

(credit: Target via Flickr)

"Introducing the Psychedelic Elf Collection at Target . . ."

(credit: Target and Flickr. And Beelzebub.)

"Elves Gone Bad: See 'The Keebler Story: When Bedazzlers Strike' at 10/9 pm Central on Lifetime"

(credit: Target and Flickr)

Jem & the Holograms called from 1986, and they'd like their pumps back. (Seriously, this was the worst of the bunch as far as looking cheap went. Boo all around.)

The bummer of it is, we WANTED to like this collection due to these appealing little flats:

(credit: Target and Flickr)

Me likey the fun colors & jewels - not to be confused with Be-Dazzling - but the quality of the line is so poor overall, we're not touching these. Instead, we're going lay in wait for a good promotional code from our more expensive friends at J. Crew. We present for your delectation:


(credit: J. Crew and Flickr)

The Babette heel. If loving this shoe is wrong, then we don't want to be right.

(credit: J. Crew and Flickr)

The Gabrielle heel.

(credit: J. Crew and Flickr)


The Gayle patent leather heel. And:

(credit: J. Crew and Flickr)

The Felice (like Mrs. Martin a la vintage "90210"! Except much more fun! Exclamation point!) jeweled ballet flat.

Conclusion: J. Crew wins in the first round, knocking out ol' Sigerson Yucky-son. Target, this won't keep us from darkening your doorstep every 5 minutes or so, but we will cut a wide swath around the shoe section for the time being . . .

The "Y" Word

I recently devoured fabulous posts from The Preppy Princess, in which TP addresses the alleged return of the preps, - however did I miss the memo that we were in exile? and where do the commas belong in this run-on sentence? - and SLynnRo, who (to vastly oversimplify her eloquent point) discusses how your outer appearance can lead others to make sweeping assumptions about you here. So I was happy to stumble upon this related analysis (warning: possibly NSFW due to drug photo/references) of the yuppie by author Jay McInerney (he of "Bright Lights, Big City" fame). Not to confuse the prep with the yuppie, although the two seem to be used so interchangeably nowadays, but I thought this was a somewhat evenhanded and highly entertaining look at both the evolution and current state of the BMW Nation, as it were, as well as the pre-glam, pre- "Sex and the City" New York; the story is tailored to Manhattan, but I'd argue is something of a nationwide sociological thingy (to use the scientific term) here in the US.

I for one use these terms fairly often in regards to myself, admittedly without much thought about how those loaded words that might fall on other ears, particularly those like McInerney's who fancy themselves outside the Cashmere Cabal - or at least did before yuppie went mainstream. (Speaking of cashmere, go check out the Saks sale section; new and adorable stuff on sale like this Milly cardigan. It's ok, please just come back when you're done - no hall pass necessary). Ahem - back to the point, I tend to throw on the pearls and go to my professional job and reside in my partially-gentrified neighborhood sans much regard for what my neighbors or co-workers, some of whom to my eye are the "uniformly nonconformist" types that McInerney so perfectly and ironically identifies, some of whom are just - you know, different. On the one hand, that's fine - let's all clap and sing Kumbayah and have an Oprah moment in which we celebrate our differences and don't give too much thought about them, no? On the other, it's not a bad idea to occasionally take a critical view of what we're holding out to the world as our life philosophy, whether it be through our words, appearance, or actions, intentional or otherwise.

I won't quote the McInerney article in full because I don't want to rob you the fun of reading it yourself, but let's take a look at the original yuppie criteria he quotes as originally seen in "The Yuppie Handbook" - yes, there is one - published in 1984:

1. Resides in or near one of the major cities;
   
2. Claims to be between the ages of 25 and 45; (Pretty comment: I particularly like this one - were there old biddies running around in 1984 popping their collars and driving Saabs and claiming to adore the Proto-Yuppie, Alex P. Keaton? Speaking of, it's time for a photo, isnt' it?)
   
   
   (credit: Boston.com. And the inspiration of little conservative girls everywhere.)
3. Lives on aspirations of glory, prestige, recognition, fame, social status, power, money, or any or all combinations of the above; (Pretty: The poster boy for #3 being the flip side of Alex P., Patrick Bateman of "American Psycho")
   
   
   (credit: New York Magazine via Lions/ Gate Everett Collection)
4. Anyone who brunches on the weekends or works out after work; and (Pretty: Uh-oh)
   
5. Anyone who takes her Pug to doggy day care and just left a Junior League event at a downtown wine bar. (Pretty: I might have added this last one myself, but surely it's implied?)

Um, so apparently these traits stood outside the cultural norm in 1984 . . . but were you checking off the list mentally as I was? Can you think of any other young professional sorts circa 2008 who don't fit most of these? And that's part of what the author drives at here - yuppie has gone mainstream, or as he puts it, "we have met the enemy and he is us."

If you haven't fallen asleep yet, lovelies - what do you think? Yuppies here to stay? So entrenched we couldn't do a thing about it if even if we so desired? Could care less and wondering what my point is here? When am I getting back to talking about discount shopping again?

Important, Special Note to Readers: Not to worry, we'll get past this faux-pensive phase shortly and resume vital Target updates as usual tomorrow. Promise!

The Five Year Itch

In which we discuss something aside from celebrity skin care for just one evening . . .

It started when I was 15, a year I spent wishing desperately to be 16 so that I could drive a car and be an "adult". In fact, so focused was I that I can't tell you much about that year except for how much I anticipated the next. At 20 years old, I had my driver's license but spent what should have been a carefree college year preoccupied with professional school decisions (I could particularly kick myself for this one) and the prestigious job and husband I'd surely have by 25. And of course at 25 - cue the John Mayer quarterlife crisis music - I'd finished school, yet found myself wondering about where the prestigious career and husband were and grieving my failure to attain these seemingly important milestones, without necessarily questioning whether I wanted any of the above . I know, it infuriates me just typing "milestones" or anything involving a 5 year plan, but there you have it. Basically, every five years or so, a sort of paralysis set in, an inability to appreciate the present - always wonderful, if not exactly as I'd pictured it - due to my focus an imaginary future.

So when I rounded the, ah, the . . . um next 5-year corner recently - let's just say it's the one at which I am old enough to be shocked by the subject matter on "Gossip Girl" - I determined not to let the Ghost of Birthdays Past get to me. An insanely delicious Vegas birthday definitely helped this, but once the Veuve cleared, it was just me & 30 (gaaah). And while I've fought the good fight for most of the year, trying not to get started with the "if only-s", old habits die hard - every 5 years, apparently. I find myself more or less with the things I HAD to have at 25, only to be thinking about the stuff I thought I'd have at 30 - mostly along the picket fence variety. (((hitting head on keyboard softly)))

I don't need help with the "why's" so much, having placed a few phone calls Upstairs about this very thing. I also know when I'm being my Mature Self - stop laughing - that I don't even actually want those things at this very moment. However, the "how" of staying patient about them, to enjoy the moment until that time is right and I have time to question what is right for me, and for my now family, is kicking my (pert, obviously) behind at the moment. To know there is a plan, and things I've always wanted that comprise my definition of the good life is one thing - to be able to enjoy the moments up until that plan unfolds is entirely another, and one that is challenging me at the moment.

None of this is meant to say that having life goals is a bad thing, obviously. If we didn't have some Unicorn and Rainbow-level clouds to keep us afloat, I for one would turn in my membership card right now. Besides, us Type A Minus sorts (I don't pretend to keep up with any of you true Type As, but I salute you. Perhaps because I'm afraid of you, but nonetheless - kudos) need a goal or three to keep the juices flowing.

I do have enough perspective on this existential navel-gazing to realize how very much I have, and that compared to most people - you know, those without employment or at war or without loved ones (ie, actual problems) - this is ennui of the most questionable order. We should all be so lucky as to have the luxury of wondering What We Want To Be When We Grow Up and getting anxious about why why why isn't happening on our schedule.

So in the meantime, I'll just keep moving along and being shocked by "Gossip Girl" (honestly, La Perla on a high school senior?) and just thinking and being and throw some Sinatra on the iPod until the 5-year-fog clears. The ghost may make an occasional appearance, but it would be a shame to give in and miss my happy and fabulous husband, or coming home to my funny dogs and perfect cat, or hearing from an old friend as I did today, or even neato adult stuff like having (my own) roof over my head. At least until I turn 35 and have to rethink all of this, that is.

Important, Special Note to Celebrity Skin Care Lines

Pretty Headquarters
123 Princess Grace Way
Principality of Monaco, Via Austin, Texas

October 19, 2008

Celebrities Peddlers Intergalatic Headquarters
456 Using Up Your 15 Minutes Drive
Beverly Hills, California, 902-Uh-Oh


Dear Celebs Trying To Milk Every Last Penny Out of Your Fleeting Fame:

We don our Speaking In the Third Person Tiara to bring your attention to this recent development, which we are encountering with alarming frequency. Just this afternoon, while paging through Nordstrom's Christmas goodies, we happened upon this:

(credit: Nordstrom and Flickr)

A skincare line brought to us by none other than Dr. Robert Rey, he of the E! Television series "Dr. 90210." We must initially note the, ahem, adult-themed "Sensual Solutions" name, of course offended our demurely ladylike sensibilities - or would have, that is, if it didn't bring to mind the classic song of similar title:

(go ahead and click this - because even us prim, demurely ladylike types can use a little Snoop Dogg in our day)

And far be it from us to criticize this line based on Dr. Rey's reality TV fame alone - so devoted are we to this show & the genre as a whole, in fact, that we our home tv recording device is known as RealiTivo - and Dr. Rey is allegedly admittedly an actual medical doctor. However, he is a plastic surgeon sort of doctor, not a dermatologist, and a plastic surgeon known for his fierce jiu jitsu chops and truly inspiring life story and . . . well, and . . .

(credit: Yahoo TV and Flickr)

Lurid striped shirts and matching pocket square and tragic man highlights, oh my [and Man Jewelry, and velvet suits and diva (divo?) behavior . . .] We'd no sooner seek out his advice on skincare than we would hire R. Kelly to supervise the local high school prom. If our $150 per Sensual Solutions product could somehow be funneled into a shopping spree at Zegna or Hickey Freeman (accompanied by Fantasy GBF Tim Gunn, Chief Officer of Taste Enforcement) for our be-highlighted Dr. Rey, then we might be inclined to give these products a go, but until then . . .

Speaking of divas, this phenomenon is not limited to celebrity doctors - it appears that actress types are donning lab coats and concocting chemical facial goodies as well. Susan Lucci, Princess of Pine Valley a la "All My Children", most recently entered the celeb fray with her "Youthful Essence" line:

(credit: Home Shopping Network and Flickr)

"Look deep into my eyes . . . you will buy this product. And give me another frapping Emmy, sometime in this millenium . . ."

(credit: HSN and Flickr)

Needless to say, we are big fans of divas here at the Pretty, and La Lucci is no exception. Were we able to shake off this professional coil, we'd immediately join forces with Erica Kane and, you know, flee to the Hollywood Hills as an accused murderess disguised as a nun. Indeed, for guidance on how to hide an addiction or a spare husband, we'd look no further than the inimitable Miss Lucci. However, when it comes to beating our own personal, hypothetical wrinkles into submission, we're left a bit puzzled how a soap opera star, even (at the risk of sounding like that infernal Blayne on this season's "Project Runway") a Diva-licious one, is our best dermatologic advisor. Perhaps if the guide on how to negotiate a run-in with a grizzly bear were included with the Youthful Essence . . .

To conclude, Pets, we're afraid that until some of that magical diva dust translates into an actual dermatology practice, we're unable to support your product lines. We wish we could say the same for your television productions, but, as ardent fans of the ridiculous, we remain . . .

Faithfully Yours,

Miss Legallyblondemel
Pretty HQ

Pretty Muses, Fall 2008

Usually a girl - say, a girl very much like me - is hesitant to bring to your attention other women who are indisputably more pretty, witty, intelligent, professionally successful, and/or generally inspiring than myself, er, herself. However, having just experienced that Halley's Comet of hair, the first-time visit to a salon in which both (ahem, totally natural) color and cut are perfectly executed, I'm in a rather magnanimous mood. It *might* also be the tasty fume blanc I'm drinking as well, but whatever . . . my point is that I'd like to pass the Pretty Tiara around a bit tonight to those other women who have recently gone above and beyond the call of their famous duty, inspiring me to be a little bit more pulled together, or confident, or kind than I'd be if left to my own devices. I hate using the phrase "girl crush", but I suppose that may also apply to these utterly awe-inspiring ladies (at least from what we know - if you know otherwise, please alert me immediately so I can commence feeling smug):

(credit: AskMen.com and Flickr)

Dame Helen Mirren. How often do we get a female role model who shows that we can grow professionally and wildly-off-the-charts foxily (yes, "foxily") past the age of 25? Without attempting to act or appear 25 in the process?


(credit: AskMen.com and Flickr)

Giada de Laurentiis. She's adorable, she knows how to cook, she makes recipes that I can actually follow, she seems so nice, she has a nice little entrepreneurial empire going, she has big, um, eyes . . . she so pushes all of my insecurity buttons (yes, for all of the Pretty Posturing, there are a few) that I can't quite figure out why I don't loathe her. Nonetheless, I am tickled to have won Mojito Maven's Giada giveaway, so I can run around pretending to be her cooking yummy Italian dishes, to the utter surprise and delight of the Anonymous Husband. Not that I want him getting the idea this will be happening regularly, but you know that thing about throwing the occasional bone?

(credit: Daily Mail and Flickr)

Georgina Chapman, co-designer of Marchesa. In addition to wanting just one - just one! - of her flirty and femine formal dresses (and a place to wear it to), is it to much to ask to have a clothing empire and to look like this at 30?

(credit: Getty Images for ING and Flickr)

Korto Momolu, runner-up, Season 5 "Project Runway". To create beautiful pieces of wearable art is one thing. To lose in front of a national audience, including your husband and daughter, and to do so with grace and a humble spirit in the same way you carried yourself throughout - suffice it to say, I for one am better off for having watched this season, and that is one lucky daughter. How often can we say something like that about a TV show?

(credit: Variety and Flickr)

La Joan Holloway from "Mad Men", as played by the iconic Christina Hendricks. Oh, to be a bombshell, even if for just one day. Thank you for reminding us, even Ice Queens like the Pretty here, of the power of being a woman (sounds like a cliche, but there's something to that), and that Pretty comes in different shapes and sizes.

Now that I've shared my myriad (and admittedly celeb and fashion driven) girl crushes / muses with you, darlings, it's your turn - who is inspiring you lately?

If I Buy It, Will Winter Come?

I'm all about bringing you the discount goods here at the Pretty - with the economy blah blah, who isn't? - but there are a few items in a woman's wardrobe for which a lesser-quality buy Just Won't Do. Surely winter clothes, particularly coats and boots, are amongst those items where the extra money really spent up front is well worth it.*

*You might be asking yourself, "What does this chick from Southern California, currently headquartered in Texas (today's high temp - 80 degrees), know about winter clothes?" Listen, I've watched movies. AND traveled to cold places where it actually snows. So there.

In any event, I've wandered about the interwebs looking for the Prettiest winter wear - the things I do for my (three) readers! - and now bring you my favorite winter goodies. Because I'm just over this summertime thing. And so I show you these in the completely ridiculous hope that by gazing upon and purchasing the same, we will somehow usher in sub-80 degree weather and Thanksgiving and "Charlie Brown" specials post haste:

Clockwise from the top left corner, we have:

• Theory "Helene Coat": Me likey the almost military profile with the black patent accent; best worn like this with a low ponytail, Louboutin Simple 100s, and a stern expression.
  
• Anthropologie "Floe & Current Coat": I am in deep, deep smit with this one. Smitten, even. Doesn't it just make you want to star in an old Billy Wilder film, meandering the snowy streets of Paris, wearing winter white gloves?
  
• J. Crew "French Serge Day Coat": Speaking of Paris, how glorious is this one? I don't know who Serge is, but this coat makes me unreasonably happy. Gratuitous bow + sunshine color = winner.
• Juicy Couture "Diamond Weave Coat": I've been stalking checking the Saks site every so often to see if this delicious retro coat will ever go on sale. You read it here - Pretty is actually obsessed with a piece of, ahem, JUICY COUTURE clothing. It must be said Juicy has upped their game, but . . . but . . .
  
• J. Crew "Double Cloth Tulip Coat": You just can't beat J. Crew coats for enduring quality; my JC pea coat, for example, has outlasted the sum total of Madonna's marriages (sorry, Guy; at least you two will always have "Swept Away".) Anywhoooo - this one comes in a bunch of fun, on-trend colors and has the fun tulip sleeve bonus.
• Banana Republic "Short Peacoat": Back to the peacoat, this is a timeless cut in a fun color. Try very hard to overlook the odd beret/cap thingy on the model. Not easy, is it? (Edited to Add: Just saw that BR is having an online sale now, 30% off outerwear, including this coat, until 10/19. Free shipping on orders over $150, or $100 for BR card holders, until 11/1. That is all.)
  

And so long as we're buying pretty coats, let's throw in some boots for good measure:




Starting again at the top left, going clockwise:

• Ariat "Heritage II Field Zip": Pssst, here's a secret - you can buy equestrian stuff like boots at, you know, actual tack (equestrian) stores, for around 1/2 the price you would at a department store. Plus, the boots & this brand in particular are generally designed to be utilitarian, so if I go for a flat boot, I will look no further.
• Tory Burch "Claudia Suede Boots": OK, I would look no further, but I Doodle-On-My-Trapper-Keeper love Tory Burch and her accessories kingdom. These are no exception.
• J. Crew "Long Fabienne High Heel Boots": Love the trendy grey with the black detail.
  
• Cole Haan "Tall Suede Boot": Love the top buckle detail, but wonder if the spindly heel would be comfortable for everyday.
• Tory Burch "Jackson Leather Riding Boots": Perhaps I should just go ahead and re-name this blog "I Pick Tory." For the price difference, however, I'm probably picking the actual riding boot for a flat boot.

So there's your totally unqualified, California girl's take on winter necessities - what's yours?
************************************************************************************
I hereby send unicorns and rainbows and thank-yous to the fabulous blogettes who have honored me with awards this week:

• The Preppy Princess: she of the impeccable prep taste and sly, bone-dry wit;
  
• A Tale of Two Sisters: these two sisters are wonderfully kooky and cute newbies to the blog scene (says the girl with a blog all of 2.5 months old) - please keep up the good work, lovelies;
• La News Readin' Wife at Breaking News: love, love, love her sense of style (we're after the same fantasy vintage bag & GBF - surely this is significant?) and wit.

This attention is enough to make a girl blush, but I'll persevere and simply say thank you so much!

I Feel Twitty, Oh So Twitty . . .

. . . I feel pretty and twitty and hey - what a terrible play on words this is!

Feeling peculiar? Un-Pretty? In need of more frequent Target updates? Then follow me, lovelies, as I Twitter about the interwebs here. I'm just starting out with it, but look for an even higher ridiculous-per-square-inch quota than seen here on these fair pages.*
*You can expect exactly the same level of smarmy self-reverence and talking in the third person as you've come to expect here, however. Apologies in advance.

Are any of you dolls Twittering as well? If so, please leave me a love note so I can Twit you. Er, that didn't sound right at all - so I can be your groupie? Follower? Loyal Subject?

Sitting in a Bar, a 10-Ish Year Retrospective*

(*10-ish years because I did not, of course, frequent bars 10 years ago when I was a mere 20 years old. Nope.)

Legallyblondemel Thought Process While Sitting in a Bar, Aged 21-Ish

"Ooh, look at that guy at the next table. Pretty shoulders. And I look OK in these jeans. AAACK, did I remember to put on deodorant? ((surreptitious sniff)) He looks like a Bret. Bret Jones. Hmmm, how does 'Mrs. Legallyblonde Jones' sound? Legallyblonde Jones, Legallyblonde Jones, la la la la wedding bells la la . . . oh, um, he left. Where's my jello shot?"

Legallyblondemel Thought Process While Sitting in a Bar This Weekend, Aged 30

"Ooh, look at that girl's shoes. Nordy's? I wonder if I can ask her. No, that would be too weird. She looks so cute and nice though & reminds me of friend X back home. Maybe I can send Anonymous Husband to ask her about the shoes. Oh, God, no - that really sends the wrong 'HBO Special' message. Geez, I'm the dumbest of the dumb. At least I look OK in these jeans. AH, where's the pinot?"

Conclusion

Swap out eyeballing potential husbands for potential friends, and not much has changed in 10-ish years. Except for the pinot, which is an excellent decision for many reasons (I'm looking at you, Rosarito Beach. And not through Corona-colored glasses this time). This whole making girlfriends after college & in a new town thing is a bit tricky. Raise your hand if you're with me!

Dude Detox, aka Fantasy Handbag Shopping

Despite the daintily feminine appearance here at the Pretty, I do love the occasional bout of being one of the guys, and this weekend was no exception. In fact, it was so exceedingly testosterone-and-football laden that I now find myself dazedly glued to the couch here at Pretty HQ, stuffed to the gills with residual libations and fried goodness, desperately seeking a return to the feminine normal. And to erase some of the more distressing guy conversations from the weekend, but I fear a cure surely involves additional libations, and I'm seeking a non-alcoholic cure to that which ails me (as well as a much-needed end to my run-on sentences. My apologies to any Grammar Queens amongst us.)

To further my girly cause, I've fashioned a fortress comprised of "In Style" and "Town & Country" issues and superduperdelicious cupcakes (more on these later) and am considering throwing some, ahem, FPs on top for good measure - just picture a slightly more stylish, tasty take on the refrigerator box fort you used to make in your backyard as a kid, and you'll get the idea - but I'm finding that a bit of fantasy retail therapy is also in order to ensure the boys will keep away for a bit.

And so I bring you my fall 2008 lineup of Fantasy Handbags, a lineup of classic purses so extraordinarily beyond the Pretty Budget that there is no risk of my actually ordering them. Nay, much like an ethereal, captivating work of art, I merely enjoy basking in their beauty and knowing that they exist somewhere in the world. I would of course be even more overjoyed if they existed in MY world, but at least they are distracting me from conversations about bodily fluids or the AP Rankings . . . so without further ado:

(credit: Bergdorf Goodman via Flickr)

Tod's Dokt Tote. Love the prim outline in the interesting color as well as the totally useless yet wonderful key fob thingy. Not unlike the Kelly bag (WHICH I WILL OWN ONE DAY IF THE UNIVERSE CARES ONE WHIT ABOUT ME. Sigh.), no?

(credit: Bergdorf Goodman via Flickr)

YSL Majorelle Tote. I've decided the logo-y "Y" actually stands for "Y doesn't the Universe put this in Pretty's Christmas stocking post haste?" and is therefore acceptable (and looks removable to boot). Otherwise, faboo color & again with the prim, classic silhouette.

(credit: Bergdorf Goodman via Flickr)

Valentino Side-Bow Duffle. Once again, I'm besotted with the bow, particularly this irreverent, sideways one in the rich black patent.

[credit: Business Week (??) via Flickr]

I'm officially (late) on the Goyard bandwagon.

Lovelies, what are your fall fantasy handbags?

The Texas Chronicles: Deep Fried Cookie Dough

One of the many things I so adore about Texas, and the South in general (or Southwest, or South-Lite, or the Republic of Texas, or whatever region this is) , is the "more is more" attitude. Unfortunately I don't mean more in the sense of "more Aqua Net to support big hair" or "more ten gallon hats", as I'd originally looked forward to, nor do I use it as it would be interpreted back home i.e. "more designer labels such that people know how insanely wealthy I am/wish to appear."

No, what these fine people do well is work the heck out of all things bright and beautiful. Cheese (ie, queso), barbeque, Willie Nelson, Frito pie, the Texas Stop Sign . . . the basics are here and, at the risk of overgeneralizing, people enjoy them in big, unapologetic fashion. This is not to say that there's some Texas patent on joy or fried foods (assuming you recognize a difference between those two); just that there seems to be a heightened sense of fun about things here. And in my days of homesickness - and I do have them from time to time - this ability to enjoy both the high and low, the room for the ridiculous reminds me I might just have found a good home.*

(credit: The Texas Stop Sign, courtesy of Patrick Dentler @ Flickr)

If you're noticing a general food theme here - well, you'd be right. Have I mentioned how much I like to eat? A whole lot? If you're one of those types who occasionally forgets a meal, congratulations - I'd like to visit your exotic land sometime, but you'll have to send detailed directions and a GPS since I possess no earthly idea of how to get there. Since I am incredibly vain and all, I do usually watch what I eat and engage in regular bouts of Hateful Exercise blah blah blah as part of my Prettier Than Everyone Else scheming. But on weekends and special occasions, such as this weekend, look out . . .

As any current or former Texans know, this weekend is the big Texas-Oklahoma game, held in Dallas at the insanely early hour of 11 am. Thus the AH and I join the throngs of football fans making the long drive up today. To some people, at the end of this yellow brick freeway (which is painting I-35 in the most wildly optimistic, kindest terms possible) lay college football; to me - my jackpot is the promise of pre-game Texas State Fair food corn dogs and fried foods beyond my imagination (and mimosas, of course, but that's just implied in any game kicking off before 5 pm). Because these State Fair people just can't leave well enough alone - I define "well enough" as "chocolate chip cookie dough" - and free from their deep fryers, and I salute them for it. Having spent no small amount of time during last year's tailgate fruitlessly looking for the Fried Guacamole (??) booth, this year I shall be relentless in my tailgate pursuit of the Deep Fried Cookie Dough:

(credit: Dallas Morning News)

I can't personally imagine any improvement on Heaven's Little Miracle (eg, chocolate chip cookie dough), but I am seeking opportunities to research any such claims. Like, immediately.

And did I mention the people watching? This always ranks high among the reasons I so enjoy a good tailgate, but this particular game must be given extra credit on the viewing pleasure scale, and I am not just saying this because the Pretty Boy of college football himself, Kirk Herbstreit, will be on the premises. Not to judge a book by its proverbial cover - oh, who am I kidding, I live to do that - but with just a brief glance at the Texas fans versus the Oklahoma fans, you can tell the two aren't exactly filed in the same section of the library, so to speak. Despite their obvious differences, however, the inexplicable hatred (at least through a Californian's eyes; I know this sort of thing is inherently understood in these parts) the two have for one another brings everyone together, and isn't that just the sort of Kumbayah moment we can all enjoy?

(credit: Flickr)

*Speaking of things we can all enjoy, I bring you Pretty HQ's Official Game Day Gnome, part of a growing special occasion statuary collection. Remember what I said about living in a state where a girl can let her weird hang out?

Because I shall soon commence stuffing my face in a perhaps unladylike fashion - not that I would ever actually do that, but just saying - I'll sign off now and wish you all a splendiferous, fried-food-laden weekend as well.

Smootches,

Perhaps We Should Re-Name This Blog "I Pick Target"

Lovelies, while on our daily latest walk around the Target website, we happened upon an intriguing development:

(credit: Target)

Behold the cashmere turtleneck dress from Mr. Mizrahi himself, for $99. We're a bit perplexed - we go to Target expressly so we can buy at least 20 things for $99, not one. For budget cashmere, we head to J. Crew or the Ann Taylor post-Christmas sales. On the other hand, as card carrying members of the Cashmere Cabal, the thought of $99 cashmere has us a bit lightheaded. Can any of you dolls confirm or deny the worthiness of these new dresses?

In other designer Target news, and as first brought to you by The Preppy Princess here and SLynnRo (in one of her nifty new writing projects) there, we had the opportunity to investigate the Anya Hindmarch line in person today. We've grown leery of the "designer" Target bag lines, having been disappointed in the *cough*Botkier*cough* past, but Ms. Hindmarch doesn't disappoint:

(credit: Target)

By far, this is the best detailing we've seen on a Target designer bag line; this one has the cutesy Hindmarch bow logo, little gold feet (a rare but much appreciated treat on a bargain bag), lovely faux-python detailing outside, and even cute lining inside. Will you mistake it for a $2,000 bag? No - it does have a bit of that PVC sheen to it - but at $44.99, it's truly adorable for an everyday bag.

So what to make of these "luxury discount" products - a wonderful way to make good products accessible to the mere mortals, or a way for Target to sneak prices up on us? As a member of, well, the mere mortal team with a budget and stuff, we like to think it's the former - what do you think? Aside from that The Pretty ought to spend a wee bit less time at Target, that is?
************************************************************************************

For a blogette that professes to know a thing or three about etiquette - or at least a predilection for lecturing people about it - I've shown an appalling lack of same here for the kind awards bestowed on me by my pretty, witty, lovely readers. So I hereby send a belated apology and thank you, Preppy Little Dress, for the "Smile Award". If I've forgotten anyone else in regards to similar honors, please drop me a note so I can give you credit. Thank you again!

How to Surprise and Embarrass Your Husband in Four Easy Steps

Step 1: Locate the family dog, preferably a foofy, male one. Add not just ONE pretty pastel tutu, but TWO pretty pastel tutus, to said dog.

Step 2: Take pictures of the bedecked family dog while giggling furiously in manner of six-year-old schoolgirl.

Step 3: Without prior explanation or notice, email pictures like this to your husband:

(actual credit: Flickr, and the superfabulous ladies who care for the Pretty Mascot - yes, HRH Pug has Staff - took these photos, not me. I do not - repeat - DO NOT - dress my dog in costume on a regular or even semi-regular basis. I swear. Well, there might be the one sweater, but the Anonymous Husband was involved in that purchase. No, really! Exclamation point!!!)

Step 4: Wait approximately 1 minute or less while husband comes to a full boil; pick up angry telephone/ open furious email; stir, then serve (while giggling furiously in manner of six- year-old schoolgirl). Voila!

PS - Just kidding, Anonymous Husband! Love you! Exclamation point!!!

Pretty Finances

I can just feel my beloved late grandmother rolling her blue-shadowed eyes in disapproval from Above as I type this post about the "M word." However, inspired by the current economic climes as well as recent posts by some of our favorite blogettes, I share with you a few helpful, novice-level reads that have helped me get started on the path to fiscal responsibility. On that note, perhaps I should also be sharing these with the federal government, but that would involve talking about politics (another Grandmother no-no), so let's press on. I'll keep things as vague and numbers-free as possible so as to not affront any delicate sensibilities.

****Important, Special Disclaimer: I am not, nor will I ever be, a professional in the area of finance, numbers, math, fiscal responsibility, or any or all of the above. On the contrary, I'd much prefer to be toodling around the "Beauty Icon" feature I found at Style.com today, complete with features on Carolina and Grace and CZ, amongst other lovelies, than talking about this. Really, go take a peek, I understand, then come back.

I also am very apt to not practice that which I preach, as Anonymous Husband would hasten to mention; in an act of unfortunate timing, I walked in the door tonight with two perhaps not entirely necessary purchases of mine while the AH was home, so . . . in my defense, I'm trying. That is all.****

For those of you still with me . . . in a galaxy not very far, far away, I was once a poor graduate student, worried only about affording going-out clothes, um, textbooks. So although I've now been married and professional for a few years, and have been fortunate enough to be able to both save and spend, it has taken me a while to get into the swing of the regular savings thing. Add in an unexpected move or two, and Pretty HQ has just this year set about to getting a wealth-building Plan with a capital "P" together.

Lest I give you the wrong idea, by wealth building I'm not only envisioning being able to buy Hermes bags at will. I'm of course talking about the Unicorns-and-Rainbows personal stuff like sending the future Anonymous Offspring to college and anticipating a one-income household for a time and financially weathering a health crisis and donating to charities of our choosing. And buying designer bags at will.

So to get in the right initial mindset, I re-read that personal finance chesnut, "The Millionaire Next Door". Nothing particularly new here - the central theme being that actual wealthy people (vs. those who merely appear to be so) generally don't do the Jones Keepy-Uppy thing - but the author specifically addresses some spendy practices endemic to professionals like moi and the AH. This book is a good starting point, particularly for those ((shamefacedly raising hand here)) susceptible to Jones-like behaviors.

(credit: Barnes & Noble)

For more nuts-and-bolts advice, in addition to consulting with an actual, ya know, financial planner with the AH, I picked up this one from Suze Orman:

(credit: Barnes & Noble)

Try to overlook the supremely tragic hair and glazed over look of the author . . .

Some of "Young, Fabulous & Broke" is too elementary for those of us a few years out of school and, well, not broke, but it's a good review of those basics as well an an explanation of the more advanced things like picking no-load mutual funds (by saying things like "no-load mutual fund", I kinda sound like I know what I'm talking about, no?) or how and when to buy life insurance. College kids & recent grads, or those of us struggling to understand "no load mutual funds", this is a valuable read.

Beyond this basic reading, we've taken to the web to scope out (free, but for the price of an internet connection!) financial advice. MSN Money has a number of easy to use calculators and helpful articles, including the simply understood and implemented "60% Solution", around which I've loosely based my own household budget. I use these percentages as a starting point and tweaked as necessary; for example, I believe in keeping committed expenses lower than 60% and throwing that extra towards various savings goals, so I've fit this to suit the Pretty life accordingly. The Pretty household is notoriously gun-shy about things like spreadsheets, but we have a basic practice of keeping these %s and numbers in mind.

Entertaining personal finance blogs abound, my favorite new find being My Open Wallet (hope she doesn't mind the random lurker link - hi, love your work!) in which a 30-something Noo Yawker takes a funny, frank, and incredibly practical look at her personal finances and spending/saving in general.

Lovelies, what are YOU doing to get your undoubtedly cute pocketbooks in order? Any good books or sites to recommend? Are you going to force me to do loathsome "Quicken" spreadsheets? Will you please forgive me for talking about the "M word"?

Tori, Tori, Tori

And now for the big sToritelling giveaway ((drumroll)) . . . our completely biased and Veuve-soaked panel of judges has come to an unbreakable tie between . . .

• Petunia: Our judges give this pretty Florida prep a 10 out of 10 for her prompt and enthusiastic compliments, which were most satisfying in their outrageousness. And . . .
• Slynnro: Although our judges were disappointed in her flagrant disregard of the wild complimenting covenant, we recall that she was both our first blog reader/commenter, as well as an inspiration to hang our blog shingle in the first place. Besides, we're afraid that if we don't kiss up a bit, she might stop sharing her Retail Ninja-level shopping tips with us. And she's very nice and stuff.
  

Congratulations, ladies! Please drop me a line at legallyblondemel AT yahoo dot com with your mailing address, and I'll get Tori - and the story of the high voodoo priestess (it just never gets old typing that) - on her way to you immediately.

Goodnight, lovelies . . .

Target vs. J. Crew Smackdown

Given our recent urge to hide under the nearest blankie upon reading our latest 401(k) statements, we figure it's time to get back to our discount shopping roots. We'd say we would just stop shopping for the time being, but - well, that's just a tad bit unrealistic, so let's go with budget-friendly shopping on a slightly less-regular basis . . .

To further this cause, as well as our much-needed wardrobe rut-busting (situation: dire, as evidenced by coworker exclaiming, "I didn't know you owned anything but jeans!"), we explored our neighborhood SuperTarget this weekend and happened upon more of the J. Crew "inspired" finds that we brought you last month:

(credit: J. Crew)

What if this classic boatneck shift in on-trend color mated with . . .

(credit: J. Crew)

. . . this cozy looking sweater dress to produce . . .

(credit: Target)

. . . voila, a comfy sweater dress in a classic silhouette for $29.99. Ignore the mysteriously fug, beheaded Target model; in person - and we know because we purchased this post haste - it's an adorable and wildly comfy dress, complete with flattering neckline and a-line shape for us girls with what a certain Anonymous In-Law once dubbed "child-bearing hips." Ahem. In addition to this rich plum color, it also comes in a lovely heather gray.

We paired this with our Tahitian pearls and tasteful brown suede boots and soon recalled that universal truth . . . without delving too much into the male psyche, this being a ladylike blog (or attempt at same), what is it about boots that sends the boy-types into a tailspin, even non-strumpet-y boots like brown suede? We simply must note this for when we're next attempting to take over the neighborhood association or sweetly cutting in line at Starbucks. But we digress, on to the next choice . . .


(credit: J. Crew)

Love, love the flower detail and, of course, the cashmere, but at $238 we're looking elsewhere . . .

(credit: Target)

It's admittedly missing the flower detail, and the cashmere fabric, but for $27.99 we're intrigued. And what if we went with this less expensive dress and just added the J. Crew flower flair:
(credit: J. Crew)

Even by our humanities major math, $27.99 plus $38.00 for this belt = less than the original cashmere cuteness.

A few other Target lovelies that tickled our fashion bone on their own merits:

(credit: Target)

Again, thanks to those crack Target photographers, this photo really doesn't do this dress justice. The boatneck, belted waist, and silver buttons at the sleeves and waistline gave this a Tory-like feel. This was a wee bit boxy on us, but for those with more of an hourglass figure like La Joan of "Mad Men" ((deep, cleansing breaths to avert jealousy)) . . . you lucky folks would probably look divine in this. And we'll try hard to like you anyways.

(credit: Target)

Complete with fantastic name "Eternal Flame", there's no way this Bangles lover wouldn't like this. Also available in a pretty teal/ olive combination. We would probably wear this as pictured, with dark tights and strappy mary janes. If we were feeling particularly mod and bold, we might pair it with the insanely bright, chunky belts Target had on display (but MIA from website).

And in honor of our overseas reader(s), we bring you what the BF-J swears is a Marks & Spencer Cute Shoes knockoff - perhaps Europafox can confirm? Since M&S is also a discount chain, we found this perplexing, but upon further research we did find distinct similarities, albeit at a similar price point:

(credit: Target)

Again, we fall victim to the gratuitous bow. Priced just under $20. Let's see the M&S version:


(credit: Marks & Spencer)

Also priced just under 20 - pounds, that is.

To conclude - oh, how we doodling-on-our-mental-Trapper-Keeper-level love Target, no matter who they're, ahem, inspired by . . . have you all seen any other good ones lately that I've missed?